Anonymous
04/12/2021 08:55
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Also competing against gap year applicants this year. The ones I know are from well to do well educated families. So that is double the competition.
Anonymous
04/12/2021 08:53
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
I can’t tell you how many middle class HAPAs have told me that they deserve Ivy admission because they work harder. They are very snobby about any other schools. Only the best will do. I hope OPs DC gets in somewhere he likes but over shooting can have some very sad results.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 20:42
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We had this situation. My suggestion is to really work the waitlists and consider hiring a college counselor to coach working the waitlist. He may get a spring admit.
How could a college counselor help work the waitlist? If there is a counselor that has connections at a particular school, then maybe I could see how someone might be able to put a thumb on the scale. Otherwise, I'm not sure how that would work.
That happened at my high school. The college counselors knew the Deans of Admission and could call them up and pull for kids.
Wow, in case anyone was confused and thought college admissions were a meritocracy
...aaaaand what do you think those counselors were saying to the Dean? "Well the kid's an idiot but I am asking you to take him anyway"?
Nope. They were extolling the kid's M E R I T S. You act like merit is a decimal calculation and not at all subjective.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 20:21
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We had this situation. My suggestion is to really work the waitlists and consider hiring a college counselor to coach working the waitlist. He may get a spring admit.
How could a college counselor help work the waitlist? If there is a counselor that has connections at a particular school, then maybe I could see how someone might be able to put a thumb on the scale. Otherwise, I'm not sure how that would work.
That happened at my high school. The college counselors knew the Deans of Admission and could call them up and pull for kids.
Wow, in case anyone was confused and thought college admissions were a meritocracy
Anonymous
04/08/2021 20:03
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
You need to teach your child to be proud of who they are, not hide it.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 20:03
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.
His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.
It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.
I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.
I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.
He must be Asian American.
OP confirmed that he is HAPA about halfway through the thread.
HAPA and one parent born in another country
Our half-asian son will apply as 'white' next year, no need to have any indications of asian-ness in his application. It is sad, but he isn't dumb.
Our half-Asian son applied as exactly who he is last year and got into a lot of really good schools. He wove some elements of his family's cultural heritage into his essays in a subtle way and I think it helped him.
Same as my child’s story.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 19:31
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.
His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.
It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.
I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.
I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.
He must be Asian American.
OP confirmed that he is HAPA about halfway through the thread.
HAPA and one parent born in another country
Our half-asian son will apply as 'white' next year, no need to have any indications of asian-ness in his application. It is sad, but he isn't dumb.
That's dumb. At many colleges being Asian (a POC) is an admission advantage.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 16:12
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.
His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.
It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.
I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.
I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.
He must be Asian American.
OP confirmed that he is HAPA about halfway through the thread.
HAPA and one parent born in another country
Our half-asian son will apply as 'white' next year, no need to have any indications of asian-ness in his application. It is sad, but he isn't dumb.
Our half-Asian son applied as exactly who he is last year and got into a lot of really good schools. He wove some elements of his family's cultural heritage into his essays in a subtle way and I think it helped him.
Asians and HAPAs need to either (1) hide their Asian background (but the AOs have ways to check on this) or (2) own their Asian background in full.
Congrats to your DS for doing the latter! That takes guts. I am Asian and I did this when I applied, and my DS did this as well. DS got into his first choice.
What Asians cannot do is hide in the middle and hope that the system recognizes their merits. That might have worked back in the old country (which I personally doubt) but it will not work in our cynical admissions system.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 13:54
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:I'm starting all my kids at the local 2 year school, where they can then guarantee acceptance at the state schools, and can leave without any debt.
When the cost of the fake prestigious education can't monetize (for the masses I mean, there are always outliers) then its time to rethink strategy.
What you are doing is very smart, and I give you credit for it. It is certainly the right choice for your family.
Pejoratively referring to other's choices, though, is distasteful and unfortunate, and you will be a better person if you avoid it in the future.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 13:22
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
I'm starting all my kids at the local 2 year school, where they can then guarantee acceptance at the state schools, and can leave without any debt.
When the cost of the fake prestigious education can't monetize (for the masses I mean, there are always outliers) then its time to rethink strategy.
When the cost of the fake prestigious education can't monetize (for the masses I mean, there are always outliers) then its time to rethink strategy.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 12:42
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.
His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.
It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.
I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.
I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.
He must be Asian American.
OP confirmed that he is HAPA about halfway through the thread.
HAPA and one parent born in another country
Our half-asian son will apply as 'white' next year, no need to have any indications of asian-ness in his application. It is sad, but he isn't dumb.
Our half-Asian son applied as exactly who he is last year and got into a lot of really good schools. He wove some elements of his family's cultural heritage into his essays in a subtle way and I think it helped him.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 10:32
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.
His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.
It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.
I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.
I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.
He must be Asian American.
OP confirmed that he is HAPA about halfway through the thread.
HAPA and one parent born in another country
Our half-asian son will apply as 'white' next year, no need to have any indications of asian-ness in his application. It is sad, but he isn't dumb.
That's kind of mean. People who really strongly identify may not want to click "white" and "hide." Also, having a European parent, the perspectives may be different than those of US parents.
Anonymous
04/08/2021 01:44
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.
His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.
It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.
I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.
I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.
He must be Asian American.
OP confirmed that he is HAPA about halfway through the thread.
HAPA and one parent born in another country
Our half-asian son will apply as 'white' next year, no need to have any indications of asian-ness in his application. It is sad, but he isn't dumb.
Anonymous
04/07/2021 12:07
Subject: Re:I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Op, good luck to your son and the thank you for posting this. My child is a junior with 4.0 uw, solid ECs, and high SAT similar to your son and was thinking of many of these same schools as matches. We are really adjusting our list and managing expectations based on your story and others we have heard. I hope cwru works out.
Anonymous
04/07/2021 12:01
Subject: I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hello, everyone. This is OP: He has decided to push hard to get off the waitlist at CWRU. We will keep our fingers crossed.Thank you to everyone who asked for an update. He is still upset but has come to terms that he will either go to his safety or hopefully get off of one of the waitlists, preferably CWRU at the point.
It has been a challenging journey and it is not over yet. Hopefully it won't take all summer for schools to figure out the waitlist situation.
Good luck to your son, OP!! My gut says that there will likely be a larger number of people offered spots off the waitlists this year than usual (as may kids applied to a larger number of school, just to hedge their bets) so I think he has a very good chance. And thanks for updating us.
Hate to burst the bubble, but there will be less off waitlist as a lot of kids took gap year last year.
Different reason this year. Less applicants, more applications per applicant.