Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

You sound totally clueless. There are plenty of families where the SAHM couldn’t make enough to justify childcare and had little interest in working and a high-earning spouse so it was an easy decision. It does not mean they had millions socked away so they could withstand any economic crisis. Do you know how many SAHMs had to go back to work after the 2008 recession?

You are right, of course, but I wouldn't bother. That PP is astonishingly self-absorbed, but any rational reader can see that. She doesn't possess the ability to extrapolate outside of her own immediate frame of reference.

I mean, do you really even want to try to reason with somebody who boasts about how she wants to laugh at the real and awful financial troubles of families? It's like trying to reason with a pit viper.

Well, this pit viper has a nest egg that was built by living frugally so I am ok. What about you?

I think it is a sign of entitlement that people think they don't have to to live frugally and that they deserve every luxury. I have a friend who bought a million dollar home and has very little savings. I can understand that people who are making less than 100K are struggling to make end meet, but a 4-member family with HHI of 300K+ is struggling? Why? Well because they were travelling internationally and taking luxurious vacations and they think they deserve all material luxuries that the universe has to offer. I am sorry but I cannot muster up enough sympathy for them. I will save my sympathy for people who are low earners and actually are struggling to make ends meet.

It will be interesting to see how all of this will play out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

You sound totally clueless. There are plenty of families where the SAHM couldn’t make enough to justify childcare and had little interest in working and a high-earning spouse so it was an easy decision. It does not mean they had millions socked away so they could withstand any economic crisis. Do you know how many SAHMs had to go back to work after the 2008 recession?

You are right, of course, but I wouldn't bother. That PP is astonishingly self-absorbed, but any rational reader can see that. She doesn't possess the ability to extrapolate outside of her own immediate frame of reference.

I mean, do you really even want to try to reason with somebody who boasts about how she wants to laugh at the real and awful financial troubles of families? It's like trying to reason with a pit viper.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

You sound totally clueless. There are plenty of families where the SAHM couldn’t make enough to justify childcare and had little interest in working and a high-earning spouse so it was an easy decision. It does not mean they had millions socked away so they could withstand any economic crisis. Do you know how many SAHMs had to go back to work after the 2008 recession?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

Exactly. Enough said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women have always done whatever is best for their families and best for their children. I think they will continue to do that. Be it to stay home and take care of family members and run the household, or be it to work outside the home to provide for their family. Women are not TRUMP. They cannot be selfish a$$hole dick.

Literally smartest comment of the day! And guess what assholes I have yet to meet a house cleaner who works from 7-7 every day just to put food on the table to say I just need my job my kids drive me crazy!! This is white privilege acting like a parent yearning to be with their child is abnormal. You guys are abnormal. She’s talking about her circumstance not yours, dont feel bad because you justify not being around your over privileged kids!

Anonymous wrote:I suspect we’ll see fewer SAHMs as the value of having two paychecks will become more apparent. All those women married to high earning lawyers who thought they were set are going to realize how quickly that big paycheck can disappear.

Meh. The people who can truly afford to have a SAH parent are also smart enough to have figured all of this out. Most of us have mitigated the risks before we made the switch from a dual income home to a single income home. I am a SAHM and we are very favorably situated in this pandemic and doing very well. We have lived on 1/2 what my DH has made for years. We are completely sorted out in terms of liquid cash, mortgage, retirement, medical and college.

In DMV at least, when an educated woman chooses to become a SAHM its because the family has cash reserves and insurance. This is not Podunk, Trumplandia. No one is a teen mom here. I hope the high earning lawyer who lost his job has a lot of cash socked away. It not then I can only laugh at the entitlement that made them think that frugality is beneath them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold up, I’m going to get some snacks. I love watching you all tear her to shreds! Because she said she loves being with her children and working FROM
HOME, which many women say is an ideal scenario for them. She’s probably juggling a lot right now and joined this thread because she wanted to chime in with her perspective and you sad pathetic bunch of hyenas are just dying to invalidate her feelings and her own experience because it doesn’t mirror yours. This is what DCUM is all about!!!

If you feel that you need to defend the natural order PP, you are a sad pathetic hyena yourself.

Great phrase, though. We should definitely adopt it for many of the posters in this thread. RAGE SAHM, engineer WOHM, and wasn't there a Bright Horizons crazy lady too? Sad pathetic hyenas, all of them.

And you, the Ignoramus in the Crystal Tower, judging everyone from
Your high horse of sanctimonious bullshit, judging because You Alone See what others cannot and You Alone get to have an opinion!!!

Anonymous wrote:I have been loving having time to cook and bake. Love not running or rushing to places. I love being outside more. I have less me time now because we are together 24/7 and homeschooling using schools assignments can be tiring. Overall, I would love to have part time job that’s 3 days of the week

Ditto. I love not having any social obligations and having the only option for outside-the-home entertainment be the great outdoors. I wish the playground was open but other than that, I’m really happy.

I have been loving having time to cook and bake. Love not running or rushing to places. I love being outside more. I have less me time now because we are together 24/7 and homeschooling using schools assignments can be tiring. Overall, I would love to have part time job that’s 3 days of the week

Anonymous wrote:Hold up, I’m going to get some snacks. I love watching you all tear her to shreds! Because she said she loves being with her children and working FROM
HOME, which many women say is an ideal scenario for them. She’s probably juggling a lot right now and joined this thread because she wanted to chime in with her perspective and you sad pathetic bunch of hyenas are just dying to invalidate her feelings and her own experience because it doesn’t mirror yours. This is what DCUM is all about!!!

If you feel that you need to defend the natural order PP, you are a sad pathetic hyena yourself.

Great phrase, though. We should definitely adopt it for many of the posters in this thread. RAGE SAHM, engineer WOHM, and wasn't there a Bright Horizons crazy lady too? Sad pathetic hyenas, all of them.

Hold up, I’m going to get some snacks. I love watching you all tear her to shreds! Because she said she loves being with her children and working FROM
HOME, which many women say is an ideal scenario for them. She’s probably juggling a lot right now and joined this thread because she wanted to chime in with her perspective and you sad pathetic bunch of hyenas are just dying to invalidate her feelings and her own experience because it doesn’t mirror yours. This is what DCUM is all about!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love love love staying home with my kids and cannot understand women crawling out of their skin taking care of their kids all day and working. I working from home, while my husband is the main breadwinner by a lot, and he helps with the kids and home as well. This quarantine has made us both SO thankful that I CAN stay home with the kids, that I have a purposeful job from home, that I enjoy all the time with the kids and in the home, and that we have adapted well to this new temporary life. It is really ideal for kids to be met by a parent after school, spend the bulk of their free time with their family, this is the natural order of life and you can feel it’s true in your heart.

Lol, I love being with my kids and agree that kids should spend the bulk of their time at home with their family (if DH and I didn’t have flexibility and family help I’d have SAH).

BUT, taking care of young kids WHILE WORKING is not fun for anyone unless you have a really lame job. Do you?

No way! My job in international development communications is rad and fulfilling and yes it’s hard to manage both! Kids are 7 and 4.5 and able to hang out on their own for lego time, reading etc. don’t get all het up!!! No need to get angry. It’s okay for me to share my own perspective, it is time
Management and acknowledging that there are ups and downs.

You’re working 8 hours a day, during which your kids are independent? A) I don’t believe you. B) If your kids are really that independent, then what’s the benefit of you being at home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's odd and sad how many of you can't express your happiness or struggles with the current situation or a different one without building in a vicious slam of other people into it.

Pro-tip: It makes you come across as dishonest and insecure. Natural order lady, you are the most recent, but there are plenty of others in this thread from both sides. You all sound desperate for validation and I flat-out think you are lying.

I didn’t really see viciousness in natural order lady’s post. At worst, she sounded a little pretentious but the naysayers responding to her sound way more mean and insecure. Maybe she’s a troll and her intention was to bring out the insecurity and nastiness from the other side though.

Nope. It's vicious because it is stating that a privileged lifestyle available to few people is the natural order, implying that the vast majority of others who can't afford that lifestyle are parenting in an unnatural manner. It's as bad as the nasty WOHM engineer who claims superiority. I would say that the parents in a family with two nurses on the front line are teaching their children better values than natural order lady, and yet natural order lady judges them as unnatural.

If you are defending natural order lady, you are part of the problem. But in any event, natural order lady sounds pretty desperate for validation, like her WOHM engineer counterpart, so they are both likely insecure and mean messes in real life.

Anonymous wrote:It's odd and sad how many of you can't express your happiness or struggles with the current situation or a different one without building in a vicious slam of other people into it.

Pro-tip: It makes you come across as dishonest and insecure. Natural order lady, you are the most recent, but there are plenty of others in this thread from both sides. You all sound desperate for validation and I flat-out think you are lying.

I didn’t really see viciousness in natural order lady’s post. At worst, she sounded a little pretentious but the naysayers responding to her sound way more mean and insecure. Maybe she’s a troll and her intention was to bring out the insecurity and nastiness from the other side though.

I love it. I love spending time with my son, I love having time to be outside, I love having energy to clean my own house. I love working too though—I have a meaningful job that contributes to society, and I gain a lot of self worth through my career.

I think in a perfect world I’d go to 80% and have fridays off, or get home by 3 each day. I’m definitely going to make a concerted effort to be more efficient at work and learn to say no to some of the extras.