Yes, women are selfish (and tired of grabby husbands) and men are selfish (can't get what they need). It is all a painful dance in a lot of marriages. Personally, I chose to try to do it several times a month to meet DH's demands. Doesn't make me happy, in fact it makes me mad. But I made a rational decision to do it [or try, because it ain't easy when I really don't give a crap about sex] because of the tradeoffs. Men, when you read this you may think it is reasonable, part of the grand negotiation of marriage. Or you may say "gee, I hope my DW isn't like this, because I expected her to be a sexpot 'til death do us part - and you may say screw it and try to find some young chick (as so many of you jerks keep suggesting/threatening). But maybe, just maybe, that is not a good solution for you either, with your male pattern baldness, ED onset, etc., etc. Everybody is mad and disappointed but, hey, that is the world we live in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has a 4 MONTH old. Sure, when the kids are 4 YEARS old + and the drive hasn't returned, that's a cause for concern.

Right, Sure, ofcourse. A 4 month old baby really prevents you from having that 10 minute quickie, I mean, the baby being tethered to you and all .

Are you a man? Or a woman who has never breastfed? Or in the small minority of BFing women who don't suffer from low libido?

A woman and I breastfed 3 babies and also suffer from low libido but still manage to find time and energy to fuck my husband and not because he's superman, but because I respect him and I respect my marriage. I mean really, how hard is it to kiss the guy, fondle the little guy, spread your legs and utter a few moans? Yes even when you're dead tired and just want to go to sleep? It ain't crossfit or the marine corp marathon. No one is asking for epic porn worthy marathon sex sessions. Many of these guys just want to bust a nut, get some relief and have you act, for a few minutes, like you give a shit. For the life of me, I can never understand why that is soooooo hard to do?

Anonymous wrote:OP has a 4 MONTH old. Sure, when the kids are 4 YEARS old + and the drive hasn't returned, that's a cause for concern.

Honestly, the OP has ceased to be the issue in this thread. Now the problem is all the DWs who frequently turn down their own husbands because they're "too tired" or "the kids need me" or "I'm not his mommy so he doesn't come first." You just can't treat your spouse like they're expendable (this goes for men AND women) and expect them to happily stick around for any extended amount of time. Eventually, they will tire of it and they will either leave, or stay and cheat. Bottom line. No, you do not have to tell Jayden to stay in his own bed at night so you and your spouse can have sex. Let Jayden come in until he's 8! But then you have to accept that your spouse is going to one day wake up and go, "Fuck it. I am not needed or wanted around here." And then you can't really be surprised when they leave or you discover an affair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are SELFISH. Plain and simple. If it doesn't benefit their agenda in some way, they don't want anything to do with it, plain and simple.

Selfish because YOU aren't getting what you want, as opposed to your babies? Babies actually NEED their mommies to SURVIVE. Grow up. Wait until your own babies stop breastfeeding. Or don't you care about their well-being?

Oh Lord Jesus, dramatic much? Babies don't NEED their mommies to SURVIVE. There are oodles of babies born since the beginning of time and until this day who managed to survive just fine without their mommies. Some of us women also birthed babies we didn't breastfeed and guess what? they survived.

You are selfish because you only opened your legs when it benefits you in some way. From getting a boyfriend to getting married to birthing children. You can come up with all the excuses you want to come up with, you and I know it's true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are SELFISH. Plain and simple. If it doesn't benefit their agenda in some way, they don't want anything to do with it, plain and simple.

Selfish because YOU aren't getting what you want, as opposed to your babies? Babies actually NEED their mommies to SURVIVE. Grow up. Wait until your own babies stop breastfeeding. Or don't you care about their well-being?

Babies need their mommie 24/7? BS!!! Can't set aside 20 mins for making love? BS! YOU grow up!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has a 4 MONTH old. Sure, when the kids are 4 YEARS old + and the drive hasn't returned, that's a cause for concern.

Right, Sure, ofcourse. A 4 month old baby really prevents you from having that 10 minute quickie, I mean, the baby being tethered to you and all .

Are you a man? Or a woman who has never breastfed? Or in the small minority of BFing women who don't suffer from low libido?

Anonymous wrote:Women are SELFISH. Plain and simple. If it doesn't benefit their agenda in some way, they don't want anything to do with it, plain and simple.

Selfish because YOU aren't getting what you want, as opposed to your babies? Babies actually NEED their mommies to SURVIVE. Grow up. Wait until your own babies stop breastfeeding. Or don't you care about their well-being?

Anonymous wrote:OP has a 4 MONTH old. Sure, when the kids are 4 YEARS old + and the drive hasn't returned, that's a cause for concern.

Right, Sure, ofcourse. A 4 month old baby really prevents you from having that 10 minute quickie, I mean, the baby being tethered to you and all .

OP has a 4 MONTH old. Sure, when the kids are 4 YEARS old + and the drive hasn't returned, that's a cause for concern.

Anonymous wrote:Women are SELFISH. Plain and simple. If it doesn't benefit their agenda in some way, they don't want anything to do with it, plain and simple.

What else is new?

Women are SELFISH. Plain and simple. If it doesn't benefit their agenda in some way, they don't want anything to do with it, plain and simple.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone wants mommy--the kids and DH. I am so "touched out" at the end of the day, the last thing I want is to be touched more. The kids need me;DH wants me. Right now, needs take over wants.

Nope. Big distinction here. Your kids want mommy. Your DH wants his WIFE.

Given that mommy and wife inhabit the same body, it makes no difference to the woman. The man, of course, would like for his spouse to be everything without being especially understanding of the fact that with a young infant, maternal identity is (as it should) come first. This changes over time, but he needs to be patient.

I also agree with the PP that so many posters here seem to dismiss a breast-feeding woman's lack of desire as primarily psychological, rather that primarily physical/medical in nature.

My DH has put on about 20 lbs since we've been married and his "performance" is not quite as good as it used to be. Does this mean that I have a right get angry with him for not meeting my sexual demands?

If you live th elife like you post, then DH isn't getting any either so I get him gaining 20lbs and not performing anymore. Afterall, the kids come first. His needs are secondary right?

Grow up and stop competing with your young children for your wife's attention and energy. Pathetic.

To flip this, more wives need to grow up and stop using their young children for all their emotional fulfillment. Children grow up and get lives of their own and leave. Your husband is who will (or should be) be left with you when they're gone. Or you can squander that relationship because you insist on rocking your 4 year old to sleep every night.

Anonymous wrote:God, women are some cold hearted bitches. Just cold to the core. When you were desperate to breed like rabbits, your DH looked pretty good then, didn't he? You were fucking him like he was Fabio but once you got what you wanted (the kids), DH can kiss your ass...goodbye.

Cold as bitches, y'all are. Damn!, so glad I"m not a man.

Yep, it's classic Bait and Switch! Dunno why men put up with this shit.

God, women are some cold hearted bitches. Just cold to the core. When you were desperate to breed like rabbits, your DH looked pretty good then, didn't he? You were fucking him like he was Fabio but once you got what you wanted (the kids), DH can kiss your ass...goodbye.

Cold as bitches, y'all are. Damn!, so glad I"m not a man.

I will always throw my DH a bone. I mean, shit is just polite. Thankfully, he's not an asshole (in which case I wouldn't be married to him).

I don't want it nearly as much as he does and the burning passion is long extinguished after several years together BUT I still have sex with him a few times a week. Half the time, I'm m'eh about the whole thing but I fake my way through it to make his day. I like the guy and I do nice things for people I like even when I don't want to.

There is just no excuse ladies.