Anonymous wrote:This may be a silly question, but I found out that my dh lets my kids get queso and guac in their chipotle bowls. My son has the nerve to order light queso. My daughter said she didn't realize it cost extra. Do you let your kids get all the extras all the time? I feel like it's wasteful and they need to learn they can't get everything that they want all the time. I did the ordering today and ordered them one queso to share. I know it's a small expense but all the small expenses add up.

Anonymous wrote:This stuff seems crazy to me. It really doesn’t add up. Let’s say that you go to Chipotle and spend an extra $6, rent a $4 movie, get some gum for $6, get coffee at Starbucks for $8, and buy a book instead of getting it at the library for $16. That’s $40. If you or your kids or your husband do stuff like this every week for a year, that’s about $2000.

If you are making $450k/yr, you can probably make $2000 after taxes in a weekend. Speaking of taxes, you probably cannot calculate your taxes to within $2000 for the year. You also probably don’t make exactly $450k. You might make $453k or $448k. It doesn’t matter, because it’s pretty much the same.

If pinching pennies is a value that you have and that you want to teach your kids, then please, go ahead. If you think that penny pinching is going to make any realistic difference in your finances, the math ain’t mathing.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We make way more than that and I've always side-eyed my husband for getting both, lol. But I also don't say anything, because I'm not trying to control him.

My kids don't like either, so that's a non-issue, but we do try to limit the "extras" just as a matter of not overdoing it, and keeping some things special. So choose 1 extra, or maybe that thing that costs extra is a special treat. One time one of my kids was super hungry and ordered steak and chicken on a salad at chop't. I wasn't involved in the order, but that would have been an example where I would have encouraged her to pick one.

I know we can afford it, but I don't think we (or my kids) should get everything we want all the time.

Same and we are wealthy. Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure. FWIW, my husband’s burrito at Chipotle is about $26 with guac and double meat. I think that’s ridiculous.

OP here. Thank you both. Glad I'm not totally crazy.

And this kind of mindset helps you retain your wealth.

$100 a year on queso won’t make a difference in retaining wealth. How much you spend on your cars, your vacations, your home, your kids’ education, these things are far more impactful. Denying your kid something that costs $2 a week is pointless and more likely to create distorted thinking around money.

Anonymous wrote:We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t nickel and dime your kids on their dinner. I grew up lmc and Ponderosa was a rare dinner out— and my mother never allowed me to get sour cream on my potato because it cost extra. Ridiculous and controlling.

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Anonymous wrote:PP who grew up in a family that didn't allow extras - I agree with the other posters who mention this isn't just about being able to afford it - it's teaching kids to make decisions about what to spend on.

So, for example- it's one extra - quac, queso, or a drink.

And while I think financial advice along the lines of "make coffee at home so you can afford a downpayment" is stupid - there is something to be said about modeling delayed gratification and decision making.

Yes! It had been one extra for years - the guac. I guess the queso add on is what surprised me. I will say that last year I got Starbucks every workday at $6 each. That is $1600 at the end of the year. I've cut back significantly in 2026.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make way more than that and I've always side-eyed my husband for getting both, lol. But I also don't say anything, because I'm not trying to control him.

My kids don't like either, so that's a non-issue, but we do try to limit the "extras" just as a matter of not overdoing it, and keeping some things special. So choose 1 extra, or maybe that thing that costs extra is a special treat. One time one of my kids was super hungry and ordered steak and chicken on a salad at chop't. I wasn't involved in the order, but that would have been an example where I would have encouraged her to pick one.

I know we can afford it, but I don't think we (or my kids) should get everything we want all the time.

Same and we are wealthy. Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure. FWIW, my husband’s burrito at Chipotle is about $26 with guac and double meat. I think that’s ridiculous.

OP here. Thank you both. Glad I'm not totally crazy.

And this kind of mindset helps you retain your wealth.

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Anonymous wrote:Dumbest thread.

Completely disagree, we need more ridiculous whether op is trolling or not, its really funny

I like a more classic troll. Like OP complains that the guac and queso is straining the budget, and takes a few posts to reveal the HHI is 450k, and also works in that it's too many calories and maybe something about GLP-1. Got to up the ante.

The HHI income of 450K is in the headline. Can you read?!

Anonymous wrote:OP there's a teaching opportunity here.
Use the toppings conversation to start an ongoing conversation on ordering etiquette when you are eating with friends, other families. For example, when others invite you, don't order the most expensive thing on the menu. Don't add on lots of extras. See what the hosts are having.
If hosts invite you for, say, pizza, don't ask for calzones or appetizers unless offered,
That sort of thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dumbest thread.

Completely disagree, we need more ridiculous whether op is trolling or not, its really funny

I like a more classic troll. Like OP complains that the guac and queso is straining the budget, and takes a few posts to reveal the HHI is 450k, and also works in that it's too many calories and maybe something about GLP-1. Got to up the ante.

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t eat out if it’s that big of a deal, there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make way more than that and I've always side-eyed my husband for getting both, lol. But I also don't say anything, because I'm not trying to control him.

My kids don't like either, so that's a non-issue, but we do try to limit the "extras" just as a matter of not overdoing it, and keeping some things special. So choose 1 extra, or maybe that thing that costs extra is a special treat. One time one of my kids was super hungry and ordered steak and chicken on a salad at chop't. I wasn't involved in the order, but that would have been an example where I would have encouraged her to pick one.

I know we can afford it, but I don't think we (or my kids) should get everything we want all the time.

Same and we are wealthy. Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure. FWIW, my husband’s burrito at Chipotle is about $26 with guac and double meat. I think that’s ridiculous.

OP here. Thank you both. Glad I'm not totally crazy.