Anonymous wrote:Just FYI if you stop caring about sex then he will stop caring about emotional intimacy - or housework, or things you want, or talking to you at all.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 40yo woman so have dated from 25-50yo men. I think a lot of it is generational.

The older men I've dated couldn't have cared less about an emotional connection. Sometimes they just wanted sex, often they wanted a woman to make their own lives easier.

But the younger men I've dated absolutely want one. They're looking for a true partner in every sense of the word, and I think a lot of that comes from watching their own parents' dysfunctional relationships.

I'm currently dating a 30yo old man who is successful and smoking hot. He could have literally any woman he wanted. But he prioritizes emotional connection and long-term relationship potential over sex, so he's been very picky.

If you're having trouble with older guys, try going younger. Early 30s seems to be a pretty good place, they're ready to settle down but not yet jaded like older men.

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the relationship dynamics. If the man loves the woman way more, the emotional intimacy and connection are much stronger. As a result, the man is much more emotionally connected to his kids. In situations where the woman is doing all the emotional labor and the couple has poor emotional intimacy it seems like it’s because the woman chased the man at the start of the relationship or gave them an ultimatum for marriage. The man was just going along with everything and is generally complacent. If a man truly loves you and cherishes you he will definitely want an emotional connection. A lot of complacent men use women for various reasons and benefit off of their labor and the benefits are all they care about. Their needs are getting met fully and they don’t need emotional intimacy because that’s not why they married the woman.

Anonymous wrote:May I ask what defines emotional intimacy?
Genuinely curious because I have been married to someone who seems genetically predisposed to only being interested in what interests him, which includes his family (my family seems non-existent).
His parents are similar in the lack of interest in what other people do for a living, their families, their goals, their dreams. All conversations revolve around themselves or are fluffy pleasant talk.
This emotional intimacy - what if it's only a one way street?

Anonymous wrote:I do crave emotional intimacy. I also find it much easier to be emotionally intimate with a woman if we are sexually intimate.

I don't crave monogamy, which leads to problems since most women link emotional intimacy to monogamy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience they don’t care as much as women. The only men really invested in emotional connection that I met were in the early dating phase or gay

What do you mean by “emotional connection”? Every man I have dated seriously has wanted to spend
time with me and get to know me. Do you need men to stare you in the eye while weeping about their dead grandmother?

Anonymous wrote:In my experience they don’t care as much as women. The only men really invested in emotional connection that I met were in the early dating phase or gay

Anonymous wrote:Do men care about building a long-term relationship with someone and really knowing them as a person? Do they value that depth?

Or is it really just about the sex and the woman being happy, compliant, and making his life easier?

I'm having a string of interactions lately that are making me believe it's the latter and that's depressing. If that's the case, I'd rather abstain.