Anonymous wrote:A typical Asian wedding in my family usually goes like this:

- Parents give a cash gift of around 50K,
- brothers and sisters give a cash gift of 10K,
- Aunts & Uncles give around 25K,
- Cousins give around 10K,
- Friends of parents, aunts, or uncles give around $500 per couple. It is a way of paying back what my parents gave their children at their weddings,

After all expenses are paid for, the newly married couple should have a 100K in profit to start their new journey together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 years ago I would have really gotten upset and muttered endlessly about it being tacky. I think now I'm just beaten down and tired. If the young people would rather have money via Zelle than serving spoons, who am I to judge? I'm going through a nasty divorce and my heart breaks looking at some of the things that people lovingly chose for us. It's all just meaningless in the end, so you might as well give them cash so they can choose their own meaningless stuff.

That's what Asian people give at wedding, CASH !!! Average is $400 per couple.

Ironically you're replying to me and I married into an Asian family and oddly so many of our guests on that side of the family didn't give us anything. Maybe because I'm white so they couldn't decide on what tradition to follow? I've never figured it out. But at least I don't have to feel mad at his side of the family because there aren't any gifts to look at or give away from them and we've spent or saved what they did give us.

Maybe the money was given to the parents who were undoubtedly footing the bill. In my own South Asian DC's wedding, we paid for everything (and I mean every.single.thing) - and also gave the checks written out to us by our friends to the newlyweds. Our friends told us that if the newlyweds had not even spent a single cent - then we should have kept the money to offset the cost of the wedding. We did not do that because we did not need the money. But, traditionally, family gives the money to the parents to offset the cost of money or they pay for something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this normal?

It has been a while since we got married. We mailed out invitations.

We just received an electronic invitation with a link to their website with a Venmo/zelle link.

Is this normal or tacky?

I find the fact that we allow children to starve tacky. An email wedding invite doesn’t even register on the list of what’s tacky or even worth a second thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused by all of these ‘tacky’ responses. Jewish tradition is cash. Why is this different or worse?

It's tacky in the asking.

Anonymous wrote:Is this normal?

It has been a while since we got married. We mailed out invitations.

We just received an electronic invitation with a link to their website with a Venmo/zelle link.

Is this normal or tacky?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused by all of these ‘tacky’ responses. Jewish tradition is cash. Why is this different or worse?

Yup! Asian tradition is also cash. I find wedding gift registry very tacky.

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused by all of these ‘tacky’ responses. Jewish tradition is cash. Why is this different or worse?

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused by all of these ‘tacky’ responses. Jewish tradition is cash. Why is this different or worse?