DCUM Forum

Anonymous

11/15/2025 20:09 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

Anonymous wrote:They definitely sound rude and I agree with telling them that the leftovers will be served during the visit. It can be tricky to time Thanksgiving dinner, but if a slightly larger turkey wouldn't inconvenience you, I would probably cook a larger bird and peel a few extra potatoes for mashed potatoes. I would send them home with turkey, mashed potatoes, and a can of cranberry sauce.

So you’d reward selfish, childish bad behavior in two grown people? Nah.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 20:07 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't sound like you're making enough food of everyone is fighting for it. Make more food or tell them before hand don't bring Tupperware as we're eating ALL the leftovers the next day.

OP here. There is enough for a full, multi-plate dinner; a full, multi-plate dinner the next day; turkey sandwiches; and then DH and I want anything else to stay in our home for us to enjoy, as we were the ones who bought all the food and cooked every dish.

If ILs want another meal of it, they should be making it at home, themselves. They are able-bodied, cook for themselves, and have enough money to feed themselves whatever they like.

We’re taking others’ advice and DH will be telling them ahead of time that everyone will have enough for the visit, but if there’s any leftovers after the visit, we are keeping them.

Your in-laws seem thoughtless and selfish.

However, the bolded statements on your post also suggest that you are not very generous.

Making a full turkey and all the sides is a lot of work that an elderly couple is just not going to do. Even if they are rich.

To me it feels like you're missing a bit of holiday spirit.

With my own family, I had to learn that my brother-in-law expects people to bring something for the holidays at his house. It's part of his family's culture. We're well off and he's well off. $20 worth of something, even $100 of something, doesn't matter to either of us. After my sister explained that small brought items made him happy we did all sorts of things to cater to that. My sister and I didn't care between us. So it was all to keep BIL happy.

🙄

Anonymous

11/15/2025 20:07 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to give folks leftovers and don’t really consider my parents guests; they are family. Seems like you’ve let this go on long enough that they think it’s fine. I’d be embarrassed to have an issue now, after a long time; my parents would probably think we were having money troubles. However he frames it, they are going to find you stingy and rude. Sounds like a very awkward Thanksgiving.

She is stingy and rude, not sure how else you could play it.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 20:04 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to give folks leftovers and don’t really consider my parents guests; they are family. Seems like you’ve let this go on long enough that they think it’s fine. I’d be embarrassed to have an issue now, after a long time; my parents would probably think we were having money troubles. However he frames it, they are going to find you stingy and rude. Sounds like a very awkward Thanksgiving.

You’re absolutely ridiculous. Just FYI.

NP

Anonymous

11/15/2025 20:01 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

You should cook more food.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 19:55 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

My in laws do this too! They pounce on leftovers like animals

Anonymous

11/15/2025 19:42 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

I think staying and being fed for multiple additional days cancels out any claim they have to leftovers. Yes, it's good to share leftovers of a feast with guests, but they're doing that by hosting for days! A guest insisting on reserving food and claiming fridge space for days while you have to make OTHER food to feed everyone is ridiculous and inconsiderate. All the people saying "just double quantities" - do you have double refrigerators?

But if they're staying for days you can't really reserve the leftovers for yourselves either. Just assume you won't wind up with any after they leave, whether it all gets eaten or they pack up the scraps.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 19:41 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

So they stay on Friday and maybe go home Saturday and are just dying to bring home these days old leftovers? And you're fighting to have days of old leftovers in your fridge? Yeesh. I wouldn't be bragging or fighting over any of this insane pettiness over scraps.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 19:32 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

Why do people want to carry leftovers home anyway? If they want it on Friday they should host.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 19:28 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

This is amazing but it’s so insane and fun that I would let them do it. Payment is telling the story all year long. Get a honey baked ham to stretch the leftovers that are leftover.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 19:25 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't sound like you're making enough food of everyone is fighting for it. Make more food or tell them before hand don't bring Tupperware as we're eating ALL the leftovers the next day.

OP here. There is enough for a full, multi-plate dinner; a full, multi-plate dinner the next day; turkey sandwiches; and then DH and I want anything else to stay in our home for us to enjoy, as we were the ones who bought all the food and cooked every dish.

If ILs want another meal of it, they should be making it at home, themselves. They are able-bodied, cook for themselves, and have enough money to feed themselves whatever they like.

We’re taking others’ advice and DH will be telling them ahead of time that everyone will have enough for the visit, but if there’s any leftovers after the visit, we are keeping them.

Aaaaand there it is. You’re being petty. Very petty. The in laws want leftovers. Just buy and make slightly more food and box them up some leftovers. It is ridiculous to make this an issue.

For what it’s worth, every time my parents or ILs host thanksgiving, there is enough for them to keep leftovers AND they send everyone home with leftovers (if they want them). This is not something odd or uncommon that your ILs are looking for.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 19:17 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

This is how people get food poisoning or gastro diseases.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 18:46 Subject: Re:ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

Anonymous wrote:DH and I cook huge quantities for TG and ask our guests to bring their own tupperware, freezer packs etc. Then all of us divvy up the food for everyone. The last thing that my family wants is to eat TG leftovers for more than one meal the next day.

OP, try doubling up the TG meal quantities. It is wonderful that people want to eat the leftovers. You can send them back home with a taste of the holidays. Food for me is the universal language of love.

As a guest, I’d be uncomfortable showing up with Tupperware and freezer packs. I’d probably just say I forgot to bring them and thank you for the offer.

Anonymous

11/15/2025 18:30 Subject: ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

This is year is decide to go to vacation. Wink, wink. So sad your flight got canceled. Oh, well. Little white lies never hurt anyone. Unless of course you want to go to vacation. Come up with a new plan for 2026!

Anonymous

11/15/2025 18:27 Subject: Re:ILs take/divide up leftovers without asking

My name is Petty Crocker, and I would be in that kitchen so fast to put everything away before these crazy ILs could take anything. I would serve dessert and then just head back to the kitchen to put everything away. It would be the fastest clean-up on record. Hell, I might even buy a second refrigerator to store them in and have that fridge in a room with a lock.