Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like a dragon sitting on its hoard and guarding it, you have lost all perspective and will never feel safe, comfortable, or content. Perhaps start giving back so that you can change your awful mentality.

+1

We are hovering around 3M in our late 40s/early 50s, but don’t envy you at all. Maybe because it seems you lack empathy and awareness of the world around you. I’m definitely not motivated to work forever or much longer. I can’t relate to your hoarding behavior at all. The world has so many people in desperate need. It’s gross.

You don’t really know how much she gives away. We give away 10% of our pretax income every year (and pay close to 50% of our income in taxes) but the stock market has been so insane for the past 15 years that the money just has grown insanely. We drive beat up cars, send our kids to public school, have never stayed at a Four Seasons or similar fancy pants place, and buy most of our clothes at places like Costco and Target. We don’t pay for house cleaners or lawn care or really eat out much or drink wine or play golf or buy jewelry or fly first class or have any other expensive habits. We give away a six figure number every year and I expect we’ll give away more when we die. But I don’t want to give it all away now and then not have money for assisted living, or to pay for medical care if one of my kids gets some rare illness. I don’t think that makes me Smaug.

People OP is a troll post. She is not giving away money. There is no way she saved that in stocks with her salary and spend and ages.

I'm an immigrant. I don't have the mentality.
Why not ask recommendation to a therapist because it's clearly not about money.
Perhaps you should go cash and skip the therapist.

Our net worth is about $13M (we are in our early 60s) but I am still working for another two years or so. That's because I have equity in my company and I'm expecting to make another million, million and a half, on exit. Otherwise I would have retired 4 years ago when my husband retired.

I agree it's hard to take your foot off the gas. Strong psychology issues there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like a dragon sitting on its hoard and guarding it, you have lost all perspective and will never feel safe, comfortable, or content. Perhaps start giving back so that you can change your awful mentality.

+1

We are hovering around 3M in our late 40s/early 50s, but don’t envy you at all. Maybe because it seems you lack empathy and awareness of the world around you. I’m definitely not motivated to work forever or much longer. I can’t relate to your hoarding behavior at all. The world has so many people in desperate need. It’s gross.

You don’t really know how much she gives away. We give away 10% of our pretax income every year (and pay close to 50% of our income in taxes) but the stock market has been so insane for the past 15 years that the money just has grown insanely. We drive beat up cars, send our kids to public school, have never stayed at a Four Seasons or similar fancy pants place, and buy most of our clothes at places like Costco and Target. We don’t pay for house cleaners or lawn care or really eat out much or drink wine or play golf or buy jewelry or fly first class or have any other expensive habits. We give away a six figure number every year and I expect we’ll give away more when we die. But I don’t want to give it all away now and then not have money for assisted living, or to pay for medical care if one of my kids gets some rare illness. I don’t think that makes me Smaug.

We’re mid-50s and starting to think seriously about when “enough” is enough. Our net worth is around $16M, with about $13.5 in liquid investments, and we both still work full-time. My spouse earns more, but we’ve always lived well below our means and focused on saving and investing steadily over the years.

We don’t spend much on status items — most of our budget goes to the kids’ activities, tutors (they’re in public school), and family trips. My job is low stress with good flexibility, and my spouse genuinely loves their work, so there’s not much urgency to stop. For me, retirement is less about the money and more about setting an example for our kids — that work has purpose and value. Our youngest will be out of the house in a couple of years, so I’m thinking about retiring around 63, once the kids are through college. Hopefully we’ll both be healthy and ready to enjoy that next stage together.

You are asking three different questions--do you have enough to retire, should you retire and how can you feel secure enough to retire.

Yes, you have enough to retire. Most people will never see $18M in their bank accounts, ever. Move the money to somewhere safe and you will still be fine.

Should you retire is up to you. I am a few years younger than you and have nowhere near your NW but if I won the lottery tomorrow, I don't know that I would retire. I might shift to a slower, lower paying job but I like my current job and I don't mind working. My kids are in school, my friends all work, my parents don't have health issues where they need me to be around all the time. I would be bored to tears if I didn't have something to do. So I don't think you are wrong to keep working if you like it.

How to feel secure is another issue. I agree with one of the PPs who said therapy. I think it may help you to talk about it and figure out ways to change your mindset. I have similar issues with money (though not as much of it) and I often think I should do the same.

I had an epiphany the other day. I’m a government worker and in my late 50s. Given the instability I keep freaking out about “what’ll I do if my job goes away”. I was listening to another retirement spiel and then it hit me - pretend like whatever you have in cash/investments today is the baseline. That’s your “principal” Project a modest return on investments, like 4-5 %. That’s the “interest” I ran my numbers and they’re way less than yours - when I added my pension to social security and the interest, I’m just fine and never have to touch the principal. Can you live off of your interest?

It’s not a novel concept, but I never really framed it that way. I’m pretty sure you can live off of your investments.

I was in your position about 10-12 years ago. You are caught in the rat race. You make so much money and while you likely objectively spend a lot, you make so much that your net worth is rapidly increasing. And the more you accumulate, the faster it increases. Logically you know that it is enough but once you exit you feel like you won’t ever be able to get back in. Therefore, you are afraid. Working a few more years can easily change your net worth by several million which massively increases your buffer.

So, I set a target that I objectively knew was extremely solid and also subjectively felt like it was definitely enough. And then when I hit that number I knew it was enough.

For what it’s worth for me that number had to get literally everything I could possibly want. And I had to be generating the income to afford my lifestyle from 3 different income streams.

I could have definitely retired on $10M or $20M but I was young and while that money was objectively plenty it wasn’t enough to do everything I wanted in the lifestyle I was accustomed. And since I was still young there wasn’t a need to compromise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick question. How did you guys amass this much wealth? What do you do for a living.

I am broke. I am 47 and I have a net worth of $150k.

Congrats on your successes. It seems to me like everyone is a millionaire these days.

She’s avoiding the question, so probably a troll of it’s all from a big inheritance.

Idk I’m a govt worker, my H a cop and we have $5M not including our house.

My answer is we maxed our retirement since we were 27.

Anonymous wrote:Like a dragon sitting on its hoard and guarding it, you have lost all perspective and will never feel safe, comfortable, or content. Perhaps start giving back so that you can change your awful mentality.

+1

We are hovering around 3M in our late 40s/early 50s, but don’t envy you at all. Maybe because it seems you lack empathy and awareness of the world around you. I’m definitely not motivated to work forever or much longer. I can’t relate to your hoarding behavior at all. The world has so many people in desperate need. It’s gross.

Anonymous wrote:Op here-saved, stock market. That was all DH. We have some real estate, but did not appreciate a lot at all. Mostly stocks.

Mmkay. On those numbers. Sure.

I would quit today if I had that much. We’re at 7.5M.

Op here-saved, stock market. That was all DH. We have some real estate, but did not appreciate a lot at all. Mostly stocks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a troll post, but between investments and cash, we have a NW of 18M. I grew up with an immigrant mentality, do have a hard time believing it is enough. Also, with the stock market (majority of holdings) it feels like it can disappear/crash…how do you transition into feeling like you are ok?

What's your HHI? I wouldn't work at that NW but quitting would only mean eliminating 1% of my NW (gross). A rounding error. If you make $2M/year, then I could understand still working.

OP here. HHI is around 780k, used to be closer to 1M, but now a little less. Thanks, the "real" responses to this post are helpful.

OP here. I am 53 , DH 57

How did you get to 18M?

I have 1.4M and wish I could retire