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Anonymous wrote:I have 2 teenage girls. They are not mean. They are kind and quiet girls. They intentionally avoid mean girls. From my observation, it seems that most of the "mean girl" behavior is in the most popular circles which my girls are not part of.

I will say this. My girls are not proactively mean but they have developed a survival instinct to fight back against mean girls that pick on other girls, basically learning to fight fire with fire. Even though I'm proud of them for doing that, it makes me sad at the same time.

OP here. My DD has always been included in most things in preschool and early elementary and I guess these people may become the popular girls. My daughter is pretty and fairly good at most things she tries, just like her brothers. She goes to public school and we are on the high end of income and house. Being rich in public doesn’t seem to help her socially. Some girls seem to get jealous or mean about material items our family cares nothing about. Girls may put things down for no reason. Ugh. I hate this.

I am going to say that if your DD gives off the vibe you do here, it doesn't surprise me that girls are mean... but you are very much misunderstanding why. You come across like exactly the parent you are criticizing. Your daughter is pretty. Your daughter is good at things. So is your son. You are rich comparatively. You have a nice house. You are sad that being rich doesn't help her socially(?!?). Girls are jealous of your kid's (implicitly) super fancy stuff that you are too rich to care about. Like... you probably don't intend to, but you absolutely come across as the problem.

My daughter is generally included by most of the girls despite them being mean to her and others.

I only wrote that we have a nice home stating it does not seem to give her any social advantages. If anything, it seems to be negative. She has a very well decorated room with a closet full of nice clothes she mostly does not wear.

When my boys’ friends came over, we had a 5000sf basement that they loved playing in. We always had the latest video game or toys so they enjoyed coming over to play. They raided our pantry of snacks and loved it.

DP but now I think OP is a troll. The PP's point was a good one -- OP seems to focus a lot on their material wealth and good looks and maybe this is translating to how other kids and families interact with their family. What is the response? We had a basement twice the size of most people's entire house filled with the latest video games and toys and stocked with snacks and they enjoyed that.

Like no one is this tone deaf. Right?

I’m not a troll and the post has nothing to do with wealth.

The post came after a Girl Scouts event this past weekend where the girls took turns being very mean to one another, taking turns excluding girls and many hurt feelings. The words said to my own daughter were relatively mild and did not end in big hurt feelings. However, it made me think that these girls are not nice girls. Most of the parents seem wonderful, at least at surface level.

Separately from the Girl Scouts event, there has been lots of drama at school and also the few people we have had over have turned out to be violent or very angry. Maybe this is what happens with preteen girls.

You've spent an inordinate amount of time in your posts focused on the size of your home, how attractive your kids are, and your wealth relative to school peers. If you aren't a troll and those comments are just genuinely how you think, I would consider reflecting on whether you are overemphasizing wealth and appearance to your children, and this is leading to behavior that is mean and overly competitive.

I would not draw broad conclusions about what all girls are like based on a single bad Girl Scouts weekend. I especially think your conclusion that preteen girls are violent and angry bizarre -- I have witnessed some mean girl behavior among my preteen daughter and friends, but ZERO violent behavior and even the kids who can be mean or rude never really come off as angry. So sorry, your experience is just not representative, perhaps there is an issue with this specific school community, or maybe your child is selecting friends with similar traits, or maybe your own child's behavior is provoking competitive and negative interactions. All worth considering.

We live in a very competitive area. Within this competitive area, the children of these highly accomplished parents seem to have some very strong personalities. This aggression may seem surprisingly mean to me now. Perhaps this will translate to success later.

My sweet daughter has to get a thicker skin. The girls mostly exclude, whisper, roll eyes and say critical things like someone being fat or stupid. My child isn’t fat or stupid so no one says this to her but they say it to others.

Anonymous wrote:OP is really dense. You obviously don’t work

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Anonymous wrote:I have 2 teenage girls. They are not mean. They are kind and quiet girls. They intentionally avoid mean girls. From my observation, it seems that most of the "mean girl" behavior is in the most popular circles which my girls are not part of.

I will say this. My girls are not proactively mean but they have developed a survival instinct to fight back against mean girls that pick on other girls, basically learning to fight fire with fire. Even though I'm proud of them for doing that, it makes me sad at the same time.

OP here. My DD has always been included in most things in preschool and early elementary and I guess these people may become the popular girls. My daughter is pretty and fairly good at most things she tries, just like her brothers. She goes to public school and we are on the high end of income and house. Being rich in public doesn’t seem to help her socially. Some girls seem to get jealous or mean about material items our family cares nothing about. Girls may put things down for no reason. Ugh. I hate this.

I am going to say that if your DD gives off the vibe you do here, it doesn't surprise me that girls are mean... but you are very much misunderstanding why. You come across like exactly the parent you are criticizing. Your daughter is pretty. Your daughter is good at things. So is your son. You are rich comparatively. You have a nice house. You are sad that being rich doesn't help her socially(?!?). Girls are jealous of your kid's (implicitly) super fancy stuff that you are too rich to care about. Like... you probably don't intend to, but you absolutely come across as the problem.

My daughter is generally included by most of the girls despite them being mean to her and others.

I only wrote that we have a nice home stating it does not seem to give her any social advantages. If anything, it seems to be negative. She has a very well decorated room with a closet full of nice clothes she mostly does not wear.

When my boys’ friends came over, we had a 5000sf basement that they loved playing in. We always had the latest video game or toys so they enjoyed coming over to play. They raided our pantry of snacks and loved it.

DP but now I think OP is a troll. The PP's point was a good one -- OP seems to focus a lot on their material wealth and good looks and maybe this is translating to how other kids and families interact with their family. What is the response? We had a basement twice the size of most people's entire house filled with the latest video games and toys and stocked with snacks and they enjoyed that.

Like no one is this tone deaf. Right?

I’m not a troll and the post has nothing to do with wealth.

The post came after a Girl Scouts event this past weekend where the girls took turns being very mean to one another, taking turns excluding girls and many hurt feelings. The words said to my own daughter were relatively mild and did not end in big hurt feelings. However, it made me think that these girls are not nice girls. Most of the parents seem wonderful, at least at surface level.

Separately from the Girl Scouts event, there has been lots of drama at school and also the few people we have had over have turned out to be violent or very angry. Maybe this is what happens with preteen girls.

You've spent an inordinate amount of time in your posts focused on the size of your home, how attractive your kids are, and your wealth relative to school peers. If you aren't a troll and those comments are just genuinely how you think, I would consider reflecting on whether you are overemphasizing wealth and appearance to your children, and this is leading to behavior that is mean and overly competitive.

I would not draw broad conclusions about what all girls are like based on a single bad Girl Scouts weekend. I especially think your conclusion that preteen girls are violent and angry bizarre -- I have witnessed some mean girl behavior among my preteen daughter and friends, but ZERO violent behavior and even the kids who can be mean or rude never really come off as angry. So sorry, your experience is just not representative, perhaps there is an issue with this specific school community, or maybe your child is selecting friends with similar traits, or maybe your own child's behavior is provoking competitive and negative interactions. All worth considering.

We live in a very competitive area. Within this competitive area, the children of these highly accomplished parents seem to have some very strong personalities. This aggression may seem surprisingly mean to me now. Perhaps this will translate to success later.

My sweet daughter has to get a thicker skin. The girls mostly exclude, whisper, roll eyes and say critical things like someone being fat or stupid. My child isn’t fat or stupid so no one says this to her but they say it to others.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I have 2 teenage girls. They are not mean. They are kind and quiet girls. They intentionally avoid mean girls. From my observation, it seems that most of the "mean girl" behavior is in the most popular circles which my girls are not part of.

I will say this. My girls are not proactively mean but they have developed a survival instinct to fight back against mean girls that pick on other girls, basically learning to fight fire with fire. Even though I'm proud of them for doing that, it makes me sad at the same time.

OP here. My DD has always been included in most things in preschool and early elementary and I guess these people may become the popular girls. My daughter is pretty and fairly good at most things she tries, just like her brothers. She goes to public school and we are on the high end of income and house. Being rich in public doesn’t seem to help her socially. Some girls seem to get jealous or mean about material items our family cares nothing about. Girls may put things down for no reason. Ugh. I hate this.

I am going to say that if your DD gives off the vibe you do here, it doesn't surprise me that girls are mean... but you are very much misunderstanding why. You come across like exactly the parent you are criticizing. Your daughter is pretty. Your daughter is good at things. So is your son. You are rich comparatively. You have a nice house. You are sad that being rich doesn't help her socially(?!?). Girls are jealous of your kid's (implicitly) super fancy stuff that you are too rich to care about. Like... you probably don't intend to, but you absolutely come across as the problem.

My daughter is generally included by most of the girls despite them being mean to her and others.

I only wrote that we have a nice home stating it does not seem to give her any social advantages. If anything, it seems to be negative. She has a very well decorated room with a closet full of nice clothes she mostly does not wear.

When my boys’ friends came over, we had a 5000sf basement that they loved playing in. We always had the latest video game or toys so they enjoyed coming over to play. They raided our pantry of snacks and loved it.

DP but now I think OP is a troll. The PP's point was a good one -- OP seems to focus a lot on their material wealth and good looks and maybe this is translating to how other kids and families interact with their family. What is the response? We had a basement twice the size of most people's entire house filled with the latest video games and toys and stocked with snacks and they enjoyed that.

Like no one is this tone deaf. Right?

I’m not a troll and the post has nothing to do with wealth.

The post came after a Girl Scouts event this past weekend where the girls took turns being very mean to one another, taking turns excluding girls and many hurt feelings. The words said to my own daughter were relatively mild and did not end in big hurt feelings. However, it made me think that these girls are not nice girls. Most of the parents seem wonderful, at least at surface level.

Separately from the Girl Scouts event, there has been lots of drama at school and also the few people we have had over have turned out to be violent or very angry. Maybe this is what happens with preteen girls.

You've spent an inordinate amount of time in your posts focused on the size of your home, how attractive your kids are, and your wealth relative to school peers. If you aren't a troll and those comments are just genuinely how you think, I would consider reflecting on whether you are overemphasizing wealth and appearance to your children, and this is leading to behavior that is mean and overly competitive.

I would not draw broad conclusions about what all girls are like based on a single bad Girl Scouts weekend. I especially think your conclusion that preteen girls are violent and angry bizarre -- I have witnessed some mean girl behavior among my preteen daughter and friends, but ZERO violent behavior and even the kids who can be mean or rude never really come off as angry. So sorry, your experience is just not representative, perhaps there is an issue with this specific school community, or maybe your child is selecting friends with similar traits, or maybe your own child's behavior is provoking competitive and negative interactions. All worth considering.

We live in a very competitive area. Within this competitive area, the children of these highly accomplished parents seem to have some very strong personalities. This aggression may seem surprisingly mean to me now. Perhaps this will translate to success later.

My sweet daughter has to get a thicker skin. The girls mostly exclude, whisper, roll eyes and say critical things like someone being fat or stupid. My child isn’t fat or stupid so no one says this to her but they say it to others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 teenage girls. They are not mean. They are kind and quiet girls. They intentionally avoid mean girls. From my observation, it seems that most of the "mean girl" behavior is in the most popular circles which my girls are not part of.

I will say this. My girls are not proactively mean but they have developed a survival instinct to fight back against mean girls that pick on other girls, basically learning to fight fire with fire. Even though I'm proud of them for doing that, it makes me sad at the same time.

OP here. My DD has always been included in most things in preschool and early elementary and I guess these people may become the popular girls. My daughter is pretty and fairly good at most things she tries, just like her brothers. She goes to public school and we are on the high end of income and house. Being rich in public doesn’t seem to help her socially. Some girls seem to get jealous or mean about material items our family cares nothing about. Girls may put things down for no reason. Ugh. I hate this.

I am going to say that if your DD gives off the vibe you do here, it doesn't surprise me that girls are mean... but you are very much misunderstanding why. You come across like exactly the parent you are criticizing. Your daughter is pretty. Your daughter is good at things. So is your son. You are rich comparatively. You have a nice house. You are sad that being rich doesn't help her socially(?!?). Girls are jealous of your kid's (implicitly) super fancy stuff that you are too rich to care about. Like... you probably don't intend to, but you absolutely come across as the problem.

My daughter is generally included by most of the girls despite them being mean to her and others.

I only wrote that we have a nice home stating it does not seem to give her any social advantages. If anything, it seems to be negative. She has a very well decorated room with a closet full of nice clothes she mostly does not wear.

When my boys’ friends came over, we had a 5000sf basement that they loved playing in. We always had the latest video game or toys so they enjoyed coming over to play. They raided our pantry of snacks and loved it.

DP but now I think OP is a troll. The PP's point was a good one -- OP seems to focus a lot on their material wealth and good looks and maybe this is translating to how other kids and families interact with their family. What is the response? We had a basement twice the size of most people's entire house filled with the latest video games and toys and stocked with snacks and they enjoyed that.

Like no one is this tone deaf. Right?

I’m not a troll and the post has nothing to do with wealth.

The post came after a Girl Scouts event this past weekend where the girls took turns being very mean to one another, taking turns excluding girls and many hurt feelings. The words said to my own daughter were relatively mild and did not end in big hurt feelings. However, it made me think that these girls are not nice girls. Most of the parents seem wonderful, at least at surface level.

Separately from the Girl Scouts event, there has been lots of drama at school and also the few people we have had over have turned out to be violent or very angry. Maybe this is what happens with preteen girls.

You've spent an inordinate amount of time in your posts focused on the size of your home, how attractive your kids are, and your wealth relative to school peers. If you aren't a troll and those comments are just genuinely how you think, I would consider reflecting on whether you are overemphasizing wealth and appearance to your children, and this is leading to behavior that is mean and overly competitive.

I would not draw broad conclusions about what all girls are like based on a single bad Girl Scouts weekend. I especially think your conclusion that preteen girls are violent and angry bizarre -- I have witnessed some mean girl behavior among my preteen daughter and friends, but ZERO violent behavior and even the kids who can be mean or rude never really come off as angry. So sorry, your experience is just not representative, perhaps there is an issue with this specific school community, or maybe your child is selecting friends with similar traits, or maybe your own child's behavior is provoking competitive and negative interactions. All worth considering.

Anonymous wrote:I have two daughters and a son who are now teenagers.

While they have all encountered at least some mean kids along the way. The overwhelming majority of their friends, fellow classmates, and teammates have been nice kids. That has been true for all their friends both boys and girls, but especially my daughters had wonderful supportive kind high school friends and teammates.

I will say that around 9-10 is when there is a kicking to be popular that makes some kids mean to each other. The key to avoiding the majority of that is your kid not trying to use friendships to move up the social hierarchy. If your kid is constantly picking mean kids to befriend that might be what is going on.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 teenage girls. They are not mean. They are kind and quiet girls. They intentionally avoid mean girls. From my observation, it seems that most of the "mean girl" behavior is in the most popular circles which my girls are not part of.

I will say this. My girls are not proactively mean but they have developed a survival instinct to fight back against mean girls that pick on other girls, basically learning to fight fire with fire. Even though I'm proud of them for doing that, it makes me sad at the same time.

OP here. My DD has always been included in most things in preschool and early elementary and I guess these people may become the popular girls. My daughter is pretty and fairly good at most things she tries, just like her brothers. She goes to public school and we are on the high end of income and house. Being rich in public doesn’t seem to help her socially. Some girls seem to get jealous or mean about material items our family cares nothing about. Girls may put things down for no reason. Ugh. I hate this.

I am going to say that if your DD gives off the vibe you do here, it doesn't surprise me that girls are mean... but you are very much misunderstanding why. You come across like exactly the parent you are criticizing. Your daughter is pretty. Your daughter is good at things. So is your son. You are rich comparatively. You have a nice house. You are sad that being rich doesn't help her socially(?!?). Girls are jealous of your kid's (implicitly) super fancy stuff that you are too rich to care about. Like... you probably don't intend to, but you absolutely come across as the problem.

My daughter is generally included by most of the girls despite them being mean to her and others.

I only wrote that we have a nice home stating it does not seem to give her any social advantages. If anything, it seems to be negative. She has a very well decorated room with a closet full of nice clothes she mostly does not wear.

When my boys’ friends came over, we had a 5000sf basement that they loved playing in. We always had the latest video game or toys so they enjoyed coming over to play. They raided our pantry of snacks and loved it.

DP but now I think OP is a troll. The PP's point was a good one -- OP seems to focus a lot on their material wealth and good looks and maybe this is translating to how other kids and families interact with their family. What is the response? We had a basement twice the size of most people's entire house filled with the latest video games and toys and stocked with snacks and they enjoyed that.

Like no one is this tone deaf. Right?

I’m not a troll and the post has nothing to do with wealth.

The post came after a Girl Scouts event this past weekend where the girls took turns being very mean to one another, taking turns excluding girls and many hurt feelings. The words said to my own daughter were relatively mild and did not end in big hurt feelings. However, it made me think that these girls are not nice girls. Most of the parents seem wonderful, at least at surface level.

Separately from the Girl Scouts event, there has been lots of drama at school and also the few people we have had over have turned out to be violent or very angry. Maybe this is what happens with preteen girls.

Anonymous wrote:I mean, high school and college age boys grape and sexually pressure and domestically abuse and even kill girls, but OK. Girls are mean. Boys impregnate girls and leave them to deal with it, but OK. Girls are mean.

Not My Son! Says literally every mother.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 teenage girls. They are not mean. They are kind and quiet girls. They intentionally avoid mean girls. From my observation, it seems that most of the "mean girl" behavior is in the most popular circles which my girls are not part of.

I will say this. My girls are not proactively mean but they have developed a survival instinct to fight back against mean girls that pick on other girls, basically learning to fight fire with fire. Even though I'm proud of them for doing that, it makes me sad at the same time.

OP here. My DD has always been included in most things in preschool and early elementary and I guess these people may become the popular girls. My daughter is pretty and fairly good at most things she tries, just like her brothers. She goes to public school and we are on the high end of income and house. Being rich in public doesn’t seem to help her socially. Some girls seem to get jealous or mean about material items our family cares nothing about. Girls may put things down for no reason. Ugh. I hate this.

I am going to say that if your DD gives off the vibe you do here, it doesn't surprise me that girls are mean... but you are very much misunderstanding why. You come across like exactly the parent you are criticizing. Your daughter is pretty. Your daughter is good at things. So is your son. You are rich comparatively. You have a nice house. You are sad that being rich doesn't help her socially(?!?). Girls are jealous of your kid's (implicitly) super fancy stuff that you are too rich to care about. Like... you probably don't intend to, but you absolutely come across as the problem.

My daughter is generally included by most of the girls despite them being mean to her and others.

I only wrote that we have a nice home stating it does not seem to give her any social advantages. If anything, it seems to be negative. She has a very well decorated room with a closet full of nice clothes she mostly does not wear.

When my boys’ friends came over, we had a 5000sf basement that they loved playing in. We always had the latest video game or toys so they enjoyed coming over to play. They raided our pantry of snacks and loved it.

DP but now I think OP is a troll. The PP's point was a good one -- OP seems to focus a lot on their material wealth and good looks and maybe this is translating to how other kids and families interact with their family. What is the response? We had a basement twice the size of most people's entire house filled with the latest video games and toys and stocked with snacks and they enjoyed that.

Like no one is this tone deaf. Right?

I’m not a troll and the post has nothing to do with wealth.

The post came after a Girl Scouts event this past weekend where the girls took turns being very mean to one another, taking turns excluding girls and many hurt feelings. The words said to my own daughter were relatively mild and did not end in big hurt feelings. However, it made me think that these girls are not nice girls. Most of the parents seem wonderful, at least at surface level.

Separately from the Girl Scouts event, there has been lots of drama at school and also the few people we have had over have turned out to be violent or very angry. Maybe this is what happens with preteen girls.

This thread suggests that this is not everyone's experience. Maybe you have a toxic troop and/or school environment?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 teenage girls. They are not mean. They are kind and quiet girls. They intentionally avoid mean girls. From my observation, it seems that most of the "mean girl" behavior is in the most popular circles which my girls are not part of.

I will say this. My girls are not proactively mean but they have developed a survival instinct to fight back against mean girls that pick on other girls, basically learning to fight fire with fire. Even though I'm proud of them for doing that, it makes me sad at the same time.

OP here. My DD has always been included in most things in preschool and early elementary and I guess these people may become the popular girls. My daughter is pretty and fairly good at most things she tries, just like her brothers. She goes to public school and we are on the high end of income and house. Being rich in public doesn’t seem to help her socially. Some girls seem to get jealous or mean about material items our family cares nothing about. Girls may put things down for no reason. Ugh. I hate this.

I am going to say that if your DD gives off the vibe you do here, it doesn't surprise me that girls are mean... but you are very much misunderstanding why. You come across like exactly the parent you are criticizing. Your daughter is pretty. Your daughter is good at things. So is your son. You are rich comparatively. You have a nice house. You are sad that being rich doesn't help her socially(?!?). Girls are jealous of your kid's (implicitly) super fancy stuff that you are too rich to care about. Like... you probably don't intend to, but you absolutely come across as the problem.

My daughter is generally included by most of the girls despite them being mean to her and others.

I only wrote that we have a nice home stating it does not seem to give her any social advantages. If anything, it seems to be negative. She has a very well decorated room with a closet full of nice clothes she mostly does not wear.

When my boys’ friends came over, we had a 5000sf basement that they loved playing in. We always had the latest video game or toys so they enjoyed coming over to play. They raided our pantry of snacks and loved it.

DP but now I think OP is a troll. The PP's point was a good one -- OP seems to focus a lot on their material wealth and good looks and maybe this is translating to how other kids and families interact with their family. What is the response? We had a basement twice the size of most people's entire house filled with the latest video games and toys and stocked with snacks and they enjoyed that.

Like no one is this tone deaf. Right?

I’m not a troll and the post has nothing to do with wealth.

The post came after a Girl Scouts event this past weekend where the girls took turns being very mean to one another, taking turns excluding girls and many hurt feelings. The words said to my own daughter were relatively mild and did not end in big hurt feelings. However, it made me think that these girls are not nice girls. Most of the parents seem wonderful, at least at surface level.

Separately from the Girl Scouts event, there has been lots of drama at school and also the few people we have had over have turned out to be violent or very angry. Maybe this is what happens with preteen girls.