Anonymous
Post 12/03/2025 05:40     Subject: How do you know it's time to switch doctors?
Anonymous wrote:My husband is a doctor and I'm a research scientist. For us it's not about bedside manner or "clicking". It's about making the right medical decisions. I've had very few bad doctors in my life, ones who actively did something wrong, or omitted doing something that should have been obvious.

What's more common are doctors who miss going in the right direction the first time around, because the patient unintentionally leads them astray with their reported set of symptoms, or because they hyperfocus on one cause and forget to do all the right checks for any other. That is very common. Are they bad doctors? Depends how far they go in the wrong direction, I suppose. But they're also human and fallible.

My husband is a very good diagnostician in his specialty but has a poor bedside manner. He wants to find what's wrong and treat it, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.



Cool, then my response will be “Thanks for the meds, go f@&$ yourself”. I want to thank you for what you did, not hold your hand and give you the tissue box.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 13:09     Subject: How do you know it's time to switch doctors?
Dismissive, does not keep up with standards of practice for medications
.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 12:23     Subject: Re:How do you know it's time to switch doctors?
This is OP with a follow-up: I switched doctors. The surgeon I replaced the first one with was BRILLIANT and the procedure I needed went flawlessly, including my billing being correct and my chart notes being accurate. I later learned that the first practice is all kinds of underwater, and that my experience there was far from an anomaly. Glad I left when I did...

Trust your gut!
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2025 10:36     Subject: How do you know it's time to switch doctors?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For me it is a dismissive attitude when I am telling them pain or concerning symptom I am having. For example, a dentist couldn't find anything with his equipment so instead of referring me to an endodontist who could check with better equipment, he told me to get a mouth guard because he said I had TMJ. Turns out I had two cracked molars and lost one of them because it had cracked all the way by then. He didn't even apologize.


None of the doctors I’ve seen ever apologized.


It’s the dismissive and condescending attitude of a doc that cause me stress and worsens health conditions.


Whitecoat anxiety is a real issue, and complicates healing for a lot of people.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2025 10:03     Subject: How do you know it's time to switch doctors?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For me it is a dismissive attitude when I am telling them pain or concerning symptom I am having. For example, a dentist couldn't find anything with his equipment so instead of referring me to an endodontist who could check with better equipment, he told me to get a mouth guard because he said I had TMJ. Turns out I had two cracked molars and lost one of them because it had cracked all the way by then. He didn't even apologize.


None of the doctors I’ve seen ever apologized.


I mean, there are a lot of people in all professions who don't take responsibility for their own flawed humanity and how it impacts those around them, but it's especially egregious in healthcare, because you're going to these people to help you feel better and the expectation is that you'll at least not feel worse. Plus, doctors are some of the most arrogant people on the planet. It's a bad mix.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2025 10:03     Subject: How do you know it's time to switch doctors?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For me it is a dismissive attitude when I am telling them pain or concerning symptom I am having. For example, a dentist couldn't find anything with his equipment so instead of referring me to an endodontist who could check with better equipment, he told me to get a mouth guard because he said I had TMJ. Turns out I had two cracked molars and lost one of them because it had cracked all the way by then. He didn't even apologize.


None of the doctors I’ve seen ever apologized.


It’s the dismissive and condescending attitude of a doc that cause me stress and worsens health conditions.
Anonymous
Post 09/10/2025 10:01     Subject: How do you know it's time to switch doctors?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I recently needed surgery and disliked the first two surgeons I met with. Everyone kept telling me I didn't need to like them and that surgeons are usually jerks. I met with a third surgeon and really liked and trusted her. It ended up mattering a lot when I unexpectedly needed to stay in the hospital for several days, and she managed things really well. I don't trust that the others would have been as good.


Funny- I'd think that a surgeon whose surgery led me to "unexpectedly" have to be hospitalized for several days afterwords, wasn't that great of a surgeon after all!


A good surgeon doesn't mean zero complications. A good surgeon means ample support for whatever complications you may encounter. You don't get perfect performance from a human. What you do get, if you're lucky, is humility and compassionate care.