OP, I can identify with a lot of what you wrote. I guess in my case it's more obvious though because we have another sister who she treats differently. e.g., she actively makes plans to go visit her and her family whereas with me she'll literally be in town and too "busy" to meet up for dinner one night. It stings, but I've had to learn to let it go and adjust my effort accordingly.

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess OP- you were the golden child and your sister was the black sheep? She probably only asked you to be MOH due to pressure from your parents. Work on making ammends for your privlege.

If this is true, this is the parents’ fault, not OP’s.

OP I relate to so much of this. My younger sister just made clear in an argument recently that she really doesn't like me, so I've decided that's fine and will no longer engage or will make the littlest effort. Our details are somewhat different: she calls me a lot and always tells me how how much she values me, how I'm the only one in the family to support her. Yet, her actions say otherwise, including she didn't make me maid of honor after I had her as my MOH--neither of us had any other bridesmaids. She also hasn't told me she was coming to DC. I have swept under the rug other incidents where she was just downright mean to me or tried to undermine me.

I've been pretending for a lifetime we're close, and I'm just done with it. You can torment yourself all you want for the reasons why, or justify the reasons she may not like you as pp's want you too (i.e. not the favorite, not too small, very nice, etc.) but does it really matter? You'll never know.

It sounds like I'm much older than you, so better to know now. Her not liking you is her problem, not yours. Same as with my sister. Stop blaming yourself, accept reality, and decide with intention what you want/will do.