Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 14:46     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What work do you do that you’ve had work visas for two decades? I thought they were supposed to be for a term.


OP here. Scientific research. And no, people can be on visas all their lives, they just need to provide documentation that satisfies the terms of that particular visa, whenever they're up for renewal. There are hoops to jump through, of course, and money to pay. Generally the visa sponsor hires the attorney.


My son has high school friends with similar family situations—parents on green cards/visas and kids born here and those families are terrified that they are all going to be deported over a past paper work mistake or speeding ticket or something else minor. No one is leaving the country because they might not ever get back in.

Meanwhile, OP is like “la-Dee-dah I’m just worried about my daughter’s math test…oohhh or jet lag…”
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 14:09     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:Seems odd that neither you and your husband can’t make something so important but you want to send your busy high schooler. Plus it sounds like she’s not that keen anyway. Let her stay home. The other adult going can record the ceremony to share with the family.


I find this odd too. I'd facilitate her going, but also your own.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 14:08     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

Both my kids are US citizens. My husband and I are waiting on our green card application and cannot leave the US until it's approved or denied. My kids are free to travel abroad.

Interesting about the jet lag: you think she's less likely to suffer from it with a shorter trip? It's true the event is on a weekend, so she could, in theory, miss less school. I was just thinking it would be even more tiring, but maybe not?




So you have a college aged son that is a U.S. citizen, and somehow you and spouse don’t even have green cards yet? Something doesn’t add up


+1. Huh?


OP here. My husband and I have been living in the US for decades on a series of work visas and our kids were born here. We have only recently started the process of getting green cards and possibly, down the road, US citizenship. In the past, this did not seem important to us. We are citizens of a European country, and were not in any rush to add another citizenship. We could not predict how dire the political situation was going to become.

We know a lot of international families on visas in our same situation, coming from first-world countries and in no rush to become US citizens. Everyone could move about freely on their visas without fear of detention or deportation.
Previously none of this mattered until this administration made it a point of contention.


So you’ve lived here decades and have a kid at least 20 born here, and it just recently occurred to you maybe you should get a green card. Wow.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:59     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:What work do you do that you’ve had work visas for two decades? I thought they were supposed to be for a term.


OP here. Scientific research. And no, people can be on visas all their lives, they just need to provide documentation that satisfies the terms of that particular visa, whenever they're up for renewal. There are hoops to jump through, of course, and money to pay. Generally the visa sponsor hires the attorney.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:56     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
What work do you do that you’ve had work visas for two decades? I thought they were supposed to be for a term.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:48     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

Both my kids are US citizens. My husband and I are waiting on our green card application and cannot leave the US until it's approved or denied. My kids are free to travel abroad.

Interesting about the jet lag: you think she's less likely to suffer from it with a shorter trip? It's true the event is on a weekend, so she could, in theory, miss less school. I was just thinking it would be even more tiring, but maybe not?




So you have a college aged son that is a U.S. citizen, and somehow you and spouse don’t even have green cards yet? Something doesn’t add up


+1. Huh?


OP here. My husband and I have been living in the US for decades on a series of work visas and our kids were born here. We have only recently started the process of getting green cards and possibly, down the road, US citizenship. In the past, this did not seem important to us. We are citizens of a European country, and were not in any rush to add another citizenship. We could not predict how dire the political situation was going to become.

We know a lot of international families on visas in our same situation, coming from first-world countries and in no rush to become US citizens. Everyone could move about freely on their visas without fear of detention or deportation.
Previously none of this mattered until this administration made it a point of contention.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:41     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

Both my kids are US citizens. My husband and I are waiting on our green card application and cannot leave the US until it's approved or denied. My kids are free to travel abroad.

Interesting about the jet lag: you think she's less likely to suffer from it with a shorter trip? It's true the event is on a weekend, so she could, in theory, miss less school. I was just thinking it would be even more tiring, but maybe not?




So you have a college aged son that is a U.S. citizen, and somehow you and spouse don’t even have green cards yet? Something doesn’t add up


Not OP but my FIL had a green card for decades before becoming a citizen around age 60. All of his children were adults by then. I believe one of the factors was that his native country did not allow dual citizenship, but there may have been others. I don't think OP's situation is sketchy at all.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:38     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

Both my kids are US citizens. My husband and I are waiting on our green card application and cannot leave the US until it's approved or denied. My kids are free to travel abroad.

Interesting about the jet lag: you think she's less likely to suffer from it with a shorter trip? It's true the event is on a weekend, so she could, in theory, miss less school. I was just thinking it would be even more tiring, but maybe not?




So you have a college aged son that is a U.S. citizen, and somehow you and spouse don’t even have green cards yet? Something doesn’t add up


+1. Huh?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:17     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

Both my kids are US citizens. My husband and I are waiting on our green card application and cannot leave the US until it's approved or denied. My kids are free to travel abroad.

Interesting about the jet lag: you think she's less likely to suffer from it with a shorter trip? It's true the event is on a weekend, so she could, in theory, miss less school. I was just thinking it would be even more tiring, but maybe not?




So you have a college aged son that is a U.S. citizen, and somehow you and spouse don’t even have green cards yet? Something doesn’t add up
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:16     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

Both my kids are US citizens. My husband and I are waiting on our green card application and cannot leave the US until it's approved or denied. My kids are free to travel abroad.

Interesting about the jet lag: you think she's less likely to suffer from it with a shorter trip? It's true the event is on a weekend, so she could, in theory, miss less school. I was just thinking it would be even more tiring, but maybe not?




You are really overthinking this. Kids are resilient and a little jet lag won’t matter. What matters is if your daughter wants to fly alone and if she wants to go.

I had my kids miss 2 days in the fall to travel to a destination wedding. The entire family was there and they wanted to go. They coordinated with teachers and made up assignments. It was fine.

My daughter already informed me homecoming is on Sept 27 this year. I know she would not be okay missing that. My other kid wouldn’t care. Are there school events your daughter cares about? Is she involved in any fall sports or band? Like it or not, these events might be more important than a once in a lifetime family event with relatives she doesn’t really know.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:16     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:Leave it up to her. It can’t be that important if you aren’t even going.


This. If you aren't going with her, not sure I would push her.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:14     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:Leave it up to her. It can’t be that important if you aren’t even going.


This. One event is not going to return her to her roots. Plus, if she really is taking that hard of a load, it should be up to her to decide if she wants to miss out on content.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:14     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

Both my kids are US citizens. My husband and I are waiting on our green card application and cannot leave the US until it's approved or denied. My kids are free to travel abroad.

Interesting about the jet lag: you think she's less likely to suffer from it with a shorter trip? It's true the event is on a weekend, so she could, in theory, miss less school. I was just thinking it would be even more tiring, but maybe not?




Do not send her. While I doubt she would be stopped or flagged when reentering, I wouldn’t take risk. How do you have a 15 yr US citizen daughter and a son even older that is a citizen, yet the both of you don’t even have green cards yet?
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:11     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
Anonymous wrote:

OP here.

Both my kids are US citizens. My husband and I are waiting on our green card application and cannot leave the US until it's approved or denied. My kids are free to travel abroad.

Interesting about the jet lag: you think she's less likely to suffer from it with a shorter trip? It's true the event is on a weekend, so she could, in theory, miss less school. I was just thinking it would be even more tiring, but maybe not?




As someone who has always traveled a lot, jet lag wasn't a thing when I was in high school or college. I easily adjusted to time zones. I fell asleep quickly on airplanes too.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2025 12:09     Subject: WWYD? Family history event vs. intense 10th grade classes
If the kid wants to go, send her for sure! In the great scheme of things, missing a week of high school is very doable, easier than missing a week of college, or a week of work, but all of those are doable too. In contrast, the experience will not present itself again.