The echo chamber here are so confident this is normal that they're... reporting posts by users who say actually, this is abnormal, socially stunted behavior.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a bit late to posting but OP, I found it interesting that you stated that your DS had no dating in high school and then listed the “exception” as the date she had to prom that she attended with a group of people. Doesn’t that count as a date?

My DD and friends (brainy, friendly, and objectively attractive) actually had zero dates with zero exceptions. no texting with guys, no hang outs, and when prom or homecoming rolled around they just gathered in girl groups and went out together and took photos and had dinner and generally behaved as though guys didn’t exist at all. They even made their own flower bouquets.

My GenX mind is so confused by this new normal.

The prom invites are a single Snap "do you want to go to prom with me?" an then a reply "sure!" and then that's it. There is no dialogue or anything until they arrange how to meet the night of and then they spend the night talking to their friends and not the date.
Sure, this is a "date' but I haven't observed it being fueled by any interest or spark or flirting if that makes sense. And there is no further interaction the next day going forward.
This is what i mean by "no dating" except for prom or homecoming.
My GenX mind is also confused. Girls I know (outside of a few) seem to have little ability to flirt or relate to the opposite sex. You wouldn't believe it if you saw them--they are as you put it: "friendly and objectively attractive." I say girls because I have girls-I'm not sure how it is with guys.

I’m a bit late to posting but OP, I found it interesting that you stated that your DS had no dating in high school and then listed the “exception” as the date she had to prom that she attended with a group of people. Doesn’t that count as a date?

My DD and friends (brainy, friendly, and objectively attractive) actually had zero dates with zero exceptions. no texting with guys, no hang outs, and when prom or homecoming rolled around they just gathered in girl groups and went out together and took photos and had dinner and generally behaved as though guys didn’t exist at all. They even made their own flower bouquets.

My GenX mind is so confused by this new normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do boys start texting girls and asking them out in college? what changes with them?

They start to look like men.

This definitely changes. I didn't date in HS at all. Lots of guys were twerpy. I was asked out on my second day at college and dated pretty consistently after that, with a couple of relationships before meeting my husband.

Which is why most HS girls date Jrs/Srs or college guys.

From what I am hearing, think this is the case for most high school kids these days. It’s harder for them to connect organically because of social media. Especially because Covid stunted these teens social growth during critical middle school years end. They would have been figuring out initial flirting. Kids today missed that window and now many of them prefer staying home on their electronics. It’s what they know and feel comfortable with.

Seems like that would make it easier. I've met tons of people as friends, not dating, via social media apps that I would have never met "organically", to hook up for events and common interests, work, etc.

Nah, they spend all their time “snapping”each other on Snapchat usually showing just a piece of hair (no face) to get their “snap Score” up. That’s their social currency but it rarely ends in face to face meetings. They don’t hook up through that. That usually happens in small friend groups. Very few date one person like we did.

About half of my rising seniors friends are in relationships so I don’t know about that?

I have noticed that the early dating side is very noncommittal compared to what I remember - but once they commit to being bf/gf (or gf/gf or whatever) their relationships last forever way longer than how it used to be most of the time. I think teens nowadays take relationships more seriously so would rather hook up than get caught up committed to someone they barely know and aren’t compatible with. Kinda smart really

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do boys start texting girls and asking them out in college? what changes with them?

They start to look like men.

This definitely changes. I didn't date in HS at all. Lots of guys were twerpy. I was asked out on my second day at college and dated pretty consistently after that, with a couple of relationships before meeting my husband.

Which is why most HS girls date Jrs/Srs or college guys.

From what I am hearing, think this is the case for most high school kids these days. It’s harder for them to connect organically because of social media. Especially because Covid stunted these teens social growth during critical middle school years end. They would have been figuring out initial flirting. Kids today missed that window and now many of them prefer staying home on their electronics. It’s what they know and feel comfortable with.

Seems like that would make it easier. I've met tons of people as friends, not dating, via social media apps that I would have never met "organically", to hook up for events and common interests, work, etc.

This is true if their in person social skills were already appropriately developed. But they are often not. I know many teens and I hear regularly that they “meet” people on social media and then when they finally meet up in person that person is totally different - often awkward or strange or just not the same person. Their online communication skills become overly developed and it causes issues.

Makes sense.
Smart phones are ruining generations of kids.

Don't worry, OP. I didn't date at all in high school. In college I was a total tramp. I finally settled on one and we've been married 29 years this fall

Normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do boys start texting girls and asking them out in college? what changes with them?

They start to look like men.

This definitely changes. I didn't date in HS at all. Lots of guys were twerpy. I was asked out on my second day at college and dated pretty consistently after that, with a couple of relationships before meeting my husband.

Which is why most HS girls date Jrs/Srs or college guys.

From what I am hearing, think this is the case for most high school kids these days. It’s harder for them to connect organically because of social media. Especially because Covid stunted these teens social growth during critical middle school years end. They would have been figuring out initial flirting. Kids today missed that window and now many of them prefer staying home on their electronics. It’s what they know and feel comfortable with.

Seems like that would make it easier. I've met tons of people as friends, not dating, via social media apps that I would have never met "organically", to hook up for events and common interests, work, etc.

This is true if their in person social skills were already appropriately developed. But they are often not. I know many teens and I hear regularly that they “meet” people on social media and then when they finally meet up in person that person is totally different - often awkward or strange or just not the same person. Their online communication skills become overly developed and it causes issues. The teens that are always “talking” to someone but it never leads to a real relationships guaranteed have this going on.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand what no dating in high school is such a big deal. DD was in high school when covid happened. Majority of her peers never dated and these kids who are now in college still haven’t dated. Seems like most just hook up for a night. I think these mids are just years behind socially.

Cell phones. The modern security blanket.

Amuses me when I'm out in public places and see 99% of people playing with their phone like they are soooo important and busy and cannot put it down. It's a sign of mass-induced introverted behavior.

I don’t understand what no dating in high school is such a big deal. DD was in high school when covid happened. Majority of her peers never dated and these kids who are now in college still haven’t dated. Seems like most just hook up for a night. I think these mids are just years behind socially.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do boys start texting girls and asking them out in college? what changes with them?

They start to look like men.

This definitely changes. I didn't date in HS at all. Lots of guys were twerpy. I was asked out on my second day at college and dated pretty consistently after that, with a couple of relationships before meeting my husband.

Which is why most HS girls date Jrs/Srs or college guys.

From what I am hearing, think this is the case for most high school kids these days. It’s harder for them to connect organically because of social media. Especially because Covid stunted these teens social growth during critical middle school years end. They would have been figuring out initial flirting. Kids today missed that window and now many of them prefer staying home on their electronics. It’s what they know and feel comfortable with.

Seems like that would make it easier. I've met tons of people as friends, not dating, via social media apps that I would have never met "organically", to hook up for events and common interests, work, etc.

Nah, they spend all their time “snapping”each other on Snapchat usually showing just a piece of hair (no face) to get their “snap Score” up. That’s their social currency but it rarely ends in face to face meetings. They don’t hook up through that. That usually happens in small friend groups. Very few date one person like we did.

There is no real reason to date in high school any more. Most people aren't getting married right after high school and only a few few young relationships make it.

People change so much between 14-20.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do boys start texting girls and asking them out in college? what changes with them?

They start to look like men.

This definitely changes. I didn't date in HS at all. Lots of guys were twerpy. I was asked out on my second day at college and dated pretty consistently after that, with a couple of relationships before meeting my husband.

Which is why most HS girls date Jrs/Srs or college guys.

From what I am hearing, think this is the case for most high school kids these days. It’s harder for them to connect organically because of social media. Especially because Covid stunted these teens social growth during critical middle school years end. They would have been figuring out initial flirting. Kids today missed that window and now many of them prefer staying home on their electronics. It’s what they know and feel comfortable with.

Seems like that would make it easier. I've met tons of people as friends, not dating, via social media apps that I would have never met "organically", to hook up for events and common interests, work, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do boys start texting girls and asking them out in college? what changes with them?

They start to look like men.

This definitely changes. I didn't date in HS at all. Lots of guys were twerpy. I was asked out on my second day at college and dated pretty consistently after that, with a couple of relationships before meeting my husband.

Which is why most HS girls date Jrs/Srs or college guys.

From what I am hearing, think this is the case for most high school kids these days. It’s harder for them to connect organically because of social media. Especially because Covid stunted these teens social growth during critical middle school years end. They would have been figuring out initial flirting. Kids today missed that window and now many of them prefer staying home on their electronics. It’s what they know and feel comfortable with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do boys start texting girls and asking them out in college? what changes with them?

They start to look like men.

This definitely changes. I didn't date in HS at all. Lots of guys were twerpy. I was asked out on my second day at college and dated pretty consistently after that, with a couple of relationships before meeting my husband.

Which is why most HS girls date Jrs/Srs or college guys.