One of my kids went to my alma mater and the other is attending a top 100 school. My stepdaughter went to a lower ranked school.

Having gone to Harvard and then another Ivy for med school, I couldn’t possibly have expectations for my kids to do same/better in terms of “prestige”. It would be cruel and unusual mental pressure. Between my spouse and I, we have degrees from or turned down HYPSM, Columbia, UPenn, Brown, Hopkins, Northwestern, NYU, UCLA and Berkeley. I feel bad for my kids having that kind of expectation to live up to.

Sure, in theory I want that for my kids. But I also know that by the time they get to college, it's going to be even more competitive than it is today. I don't know what things are going to look like at that point. I also know that I thrived at my alma matter and have built a nice life for myself and my family. I trust that my kids will land somewhere that's a good fit for them and I hope they make the most of what the school offers for whatever they want to do with their lives. I'm trying not to have any preconceived ideas about where they might end up or what my preferences may be because I have no idea how it will go.

Anonymous wrote:I want my kids to have easier life, more money, and same or better mental and physical health than their parents.
College did nothing for me and will do nothing for my kids. I just hope they like it enough to get a degree and get out.

Uh.

Anonymous wrote:Nah. I went to an Ivy and actively don’t want my kids to go there.

I'm in the same boat. What's interesting though is that the legacy makes it more likely that my kids will get into my alma mater.

I went to Princeton. I will be encouraging my kids to go to less prestigious schools. They both would not do well in the competitive environment.

I can’t relate at all. I have one parent who was very impressed with prestige and probably pressured me too much. I went for the name and ranking. I made a huge mistake with my choice of college and major.

I don’t care about any of that for my kid. I want them to focus on the best fit for them and what will give them the best value. Rankings is the furthest thing from my mind.

For one, we are encouraging vocational options. No loans and a solid future with high earning potential combined with opening a business.

Our other child will likely want to go the humanities route and the highest ranking college possible. That child takes after the grandparent.

I want my kids to have easier life, more money, and same or better mental and physical health than their parents.
College did nothing for me and will do nothing for my kids. I just hope they like it enough to get a degree and get out.

One of us went to a highly ranked school and the other didn't. We met at work in the exact same position. This has taken a ton of pressure off of our kids.

I went to a state directional in Florida (for free!) and I want my kids to go to a school that they like and is a good fit for their goals...but whether or not they go to a school that is "better" than UCF is honestly not something that I've thought about. It really just does not matter.

I went to a middling high school with no APs 25 years ago - But I somehow got a really stellar SAT score and that was all you needed in those days to get into top schools....I remember the few days when I actually got in and thought I was going to a dream school up north, but then parents didn't have the money to send me so I went to a middling private close to home where I got a full ride. I went to an ivy for grad school and was jealous of colleagues not so much for the prestige of the undergrads they went to, but the amazing experiences, close relationships with teachers, interesting classes, close alumni networks, how much better they were at writing than I was, and just that quintessential college experience. We ended up in the same place, but they had an experience I still envy. There are lots of places you can get that outside the tippy top schools, but that's the thing I want to give to my kids - and for them to get out with 0 debt so they have maximal choices when they get out. That's what we've been saving for since they were little. I know it's a luxury good and you can get the same "outcomes" from many schools, but the experience is the luxury good I want to be able to provide - if it's what they want.

I went to a mediocre Catholic high school in the Midwest. Did very well there but ended up making decisions like not continuing in a language since the teacher didn’t actually teach. Finished math at pre calculus since that’s what was available despite it being a super easy subject for me. Ended up at my safety school. Kids are at a better school and despite the change in admissions, I would like them to end up somewhere better. Have a bit of an inferiority complex on it but am thrilled my kids have more opportunities.

Husband and I went to commuter school in OH that we paid for by working crappy jobs-- no loans+ no parental support. We had just one kid to afford the best schools $ could buy. So, yes,OP. Kid went to Harvard Undergrad + Stanford MBA.

Not in the cards for us due to cost and difficulty getting in. Going the state flagship route and everyone is happy about it.

I think it's normal to want the best for your kids. Along the way, you may have to accept their limitations, too, and help them look for the best fit.