I hate that and have avoided doing that to my child through conscious choices. Some things that have worked for us included hiring a nanny when the child was young and reducing hours to work part time. Of course that was all done in a thoughtful manner with lots of planning. Times are suddenly tough now that the meanest of the bullies are in charge and no one has been given the courtesy of time to make alternative plans. It's not easy to hire a good nanny with less than a week's notice to work in the office fulltime with NO flexibility to telework. Sadly it is families and children who are being effected the most. Every family has to do what they have to do to survive.

My parents put me in aftercare and before care, same as your schedule. It was fine at the time bc it's all I knew. But I always longed for spending more time with them. Basically that experience is what made me never want to work FT as a mom though I did have to work part-time and she was I childcare ~6hrs/day until starting school.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's sad that a kiss life anymore is school, childcare, homework, extracurriculars rinse and repeat. No time for much else, when I was a kid/teen I was out of the house alot, but it was more than likely playing/hanging out with friends in an unorganized way.

My kids' time at aftercare IS playing with friends in an unorganized way. They just have a big playground, library, and a lot of games and craft materials on hand. A couple hours every day with their best friends. I work at home once a week and they can come home directly those days if they want to but sometimes opt to stay and play.

8 hours is normal and nothing to be concerned about. 11 hours is not common though. Most families with two working parents have one go in early and the other late so they only need before or after care not both.

OP you said your kids are at school for 11 hours! That’s very different from 8 hours.

Anonymous wrote:At our private, most every kid has a SAHM, nanny or au pair. After care is not used by many. Middle school kids can stay home after school by themselves and high school kids mostly have practice or rehearsal after school. It's just the PreK-6th grade years where you need help. I would avoid after care at all costs, but clearly some schools have nice programs based on PPs.

Why would you avoid aftercare at all costs? My kid isn't in it now, but when he was it was some really nice built in socialization and outside play time with friends.

If you're counting things like the car or bus ride to and from school along with after school enrichment or playground time or aftercare, 7-8 hours seems normal, especially for kids in elementary school and not PreK or daycare. The typical kid at my elementary leaves the house at 8 and is back home around 4, 4:30. I'm more concerned about the infants and toddlers who get dropped off before 7:30 am and picked up at 6 or later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s pretty extreme. Most families we known (in a neighborhood with many dual feds) shift their schedules so that one parent is home earlier.

However my kids are often out of the house from 8:30am - 6:30 or 7pm due to sports or activities, with 25-45 min at home to switch from school clothes and pick up sports gear and food. That is a choice - not RTO.

Bring out of the house to include activities like this is not the same as being out of the house for a long and continuous block of time at beforecare/school/aftercare. With the activities, at least the day is broken up by some coming and going to and from home plus you are spending time in the car with your kids which can be pretty valuable for conversation.

Oh please. This is what UMC striver parents tell themselves to justify that their kids are over scheduled. You are making a choice for them to do all of these activities. Parents whose kids are in aftercare have to work. Big difference.

Anonymous wrote:That’s pretty extreme. Most families we known (in a neighborhood with many dual feds) shift their schedules so that one parent is home earlier.

However my kids are often out of the house from 8:30am - 6:30 or 7pm due to sports or activities, with 25-45 min at home to switch from school clothes and pick up sports gear and food. That is a choice - not RTO.

Bring out of the house to include activities like this is not the same as being out of the house for a long and continuous block of time at beforecare/school/aftercare. With the activities, at least the day is broken up by some coming and going to and from home plus you are spending time in the car with your kids which can be pretty valuable for conversation.

If you have a kid who loves getting up really early and loves before care and after care, then as others are saying, it is fine.

When you have kids who don't love those things, it is more challenging. We use grandparents, high school students, and shifted schedules to make it work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No 11 hours a day 5 days a week is not normal imo.
Unless you both have crazy long commutes for some reason.

I have to be at work by 7:30 and I get off at 5:30. A 30 minute commute isn't crazy long so my kid is at school from 7-6pm. I'm your kid's teacher BTW. Single parent.

That’s interesting, do you teach locally? My neighbor is a teacher at Blair and is home by 4:30 every day.

I am not sure what you are implying. Blair has an earlier bell time than MS or ES so teachers go in earlier and might leave earlier. Or a teacher might have different after school commitments, or choose to bring work home and do it after the kids are asleep.

Anonymous wrote:Is that the norm nowadays with both parents RTO? My kids are in before and after childcare and then school during the day. Drop off is 7am and pick up is 6pm.

Yes, that is the norm. It always had been until Covid changed everything

Well run aftercare setups are reasonably common. Our church has a (secular) aftercare arrangement with FCPS. Church bus picks up kids from local ES at dismissal. Kids have piano lessons, crafts, play with toys, have access to an indoor gym, and also access to HS students paid to tutor little ones. In good weather, they can have a recess outdoors also. Parents pickup kids from the church by 5:30pm. Fees are reasonable. They also have “day camps” when FCPS is closed and it is not a Federal holiday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No 11 hours a day 5 days a week is not normal imo.
Unless you both have crazy long commutes for some reason.

I have to be at work by 7:30 and I get off at 5:30. A 30 minute commute isn't crazy long so my kid is at school from 7-6pm. I'm your kid's teacher BTW. Single parent.

That’s interesting, do you teach locally? My neighbor is a teacher at Blair and is home by 4:30 every day.

Teaching loads vary widely. Some have before-school duties. Others have obligations after school hours, like running clubs. Some schools get out at 3, and others get out at 4:30.

(Also, a teacher who gets home at 4:30 probably isn’t done for the day. I got home from work at 5 yesterday, but altered lessons and graded papers from 6-9pm while my DH watched the kids.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No 11 hours a day 5 days a week is not normal imo.
Unless you both have crazy long commutes for some reason.

I have to be at work by 7:30 and I get off at 5:30. A 30 minute commute isn't crazy long so my kid is at school from 7-6pm. I'm your kid's teacher BTW. Single parent.

That’s interesting, do you teach locally? My neighbor is a teacher at Blair and is home by 4:30 every day.

I work in the aftercare program which ends at 5:30.