Anonymous wrote:Odd question- when you’re drinking that much don’t you just sort of reek of alcohol? How is it even possible to hide it?

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to share my story in case it helps someone else. My husband passed away four months ago at 48 years old. He had struggled with alcohol in the past, but I truly thought he had it under control. What we initially thought was a stomach bug escalated so quickly—within days, he was in full liver and kidney failure. Weeks later, I found several vodka bottles hidden in his boots, closet, and car. It turns out he had been secretly drinking a ridiculous amount of liquor. He was still working full-time and doing all the things he always did. It seems like his body was hanging on by a thread, but eventually, it just couldn’t take it anymore.

He leaves behind two children who will now grow up without a father. From the outside, everything seemed perfect—he had a great job, a nice home, and so many friends and colleagues who cared about him. No one suspected how bad things really were, including me.

I’m feeling so many emotions—grief, anger, guilt, disbelief. I had considered leaving him in the past, but like I said, it seemed like things were getting better. Through talking to addiction counselors, I learned that it was more likely end-stage alcoholism. His body had become so dependent on alcohol that he didn’t even get drunk.

If you suspect a loved one is drinking in secret, please don’t ignore those instincts. I just wish I had known. I had no experience with alcoholism or addiction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry for you and your children's loss.

You don’t mention the usual crashed cars, lost jobs, lost friends, blackout apologies and mortifying moments that most of us think of when it comes to alcoholism. I think of how much someone would have to drink to wreck ther internal organs and I can’t put it together with what you’re telling us.
Was he otherwise fully functioning?

I am a PP alcoholic drinking 2-3 bottles of wine every day. Sometimes I drank much, much more at parties. I didn’t have any DUIs, have a perfect driving record, have the same job I’ve had for 15 years, high performer at top of my field still. I still publish.

Many alcoholics drink as stress relief, because they are type A overachievers. I was just as good at hiding my alcoholism as I was good at everything else I have ever done. Even now no one in my real life knows how bad it was. I am glad AF is becoming popular with the younger set, it just makes me look cool now to be drinking kombucha instead of alcohol.

The trope of what alcoholism looks like is just a trope. Alcoholism comes in all shapes and sizes and levels of success.

Anonymous wrote:I want to post on here about naltrexone. I had tried to quit for years, but the cravings were really hard to deal with. Taking Naltrexone really took the edge off of all cravings. It really made it easy to quit. Even after I stopped taking it daily, I can still take one if I'm feeling a bad craving. I feel like no one told me there were drugs that could help and doctors also had no clue about it, so I want to make sure others know that there are tools to help.

Also, regarding hangovers- I never get hungover. I really never have. I rarely drink wine though because I didn't like the headaches, but I had no issues with liquor.

Anonymous wrote:That's very rare, OP. Most alcoholics develop serious symptoms before they die, and their families' lives are conflict-ridden and stressful for years. In some ways, you're lucky this ended the way it did, with minimal involvement on your part and no witnessing of abuse and strife by your children. You couldn't have saved him anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry for you and your children's loss.

You don’t mention the usual crashed cars, lost jobs, lost friends, blackout apologies and mortifying moments that most of us think of when it comes to alcoholism. I think of how much someone would have to drink to wreck ther internal organs and I can’t put it together with what you’re telling us.
Was he otherwise fully functioning?

I am a PP alcoholic drinking 2-3 bottles of wine every day. Sometimes I drank much, much more at parties. I didn’t have any DUIs, have a perfect driving record, have the same job I’ve had for 15 years, high performer at top of my field still. I still publish.

Many alcoholics drink as stress relief, because they are type A overachievers. I was just as good at hiding my alcoholism as I was good at everything else I have ever done. Even now no one in my real life knows how bad it was. I am glad AF is becoming popular with the younger set, it just makes me look cool now to be drinking kombucha instead of alcohol.

The trope of what alcoholism looks like is just a trope. Alcoholism comes in all shapes and sizes and levels of success.

how did you function every day when hungover?

Anonymous wrote:That's very rare, OP. Most alcoholics develop serious symptoms before they die, and their families' lives are conflict-ridden and stressful for years. In some ways, you're lucky this ended the way it did, with minimal involvement on your part and no witnessing of abuse and strife by your children. You couldn't have saved him anyway.