Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.

Putting up with demanding kids who learn from their father that you are a servant, while your husband bangs the new 20 something at the office can really take a toll. Especially when there is no path to retirement except death. You will always be expected to host, cook, clean, serve, and care for everyone else forever and ever and ever. When your husband retires you job gets harder.

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious because DD is 5 and has been saying her dream job is to be a SAHM. We're pleased with this but don't know where she got the idea from. I did not stay home, both of her grandmothers still work full-time (though they stayed home for years when their kids were young), and all of our family friends and neighbors are 2 income households. She's had a nanny since birth who she loves, and DH and I have worked from home since she was several months old. Our conclusion is that she must have many friends at school with SAHMs.

Those of you who are SAHMs, at what age did you know you wanted to be one? Those who dreamed of being a SAHM when you were young, did you end up as one? As a child, I didn't dream of being a SAHM, though I wouldn't mind it now.

That's all we need to read. Kids at that age are just trying to please their parents. Obviously you've made comments that demonstrate you would be pleased. Other parents make comments they would be pleased if their child were a doctor or lawyer and then are "surprised" their child wants to do this because [insert reason/justification here].

30---after I had my first child.

She’s 5. She will likely wish to be a cat when she grows up next.

Anonymous wrote:My kindergartener told me he wanted to be a cat when he grew up. Now he was definitely trolling me, but it was funny. He then pretended to be a cat for a solid ten minutes (which is actually a pretty long time to be crawling around meowing).

He's a fun kid.

That’s pretty cute

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you should be encouraging your FIVE YEAR OLD to pick a life path where she's dependent on her romantic partner for her financial sustenance.

It's a completely valid choice for an adult to make when she's weighed all the options, but it's a weird thing for parents to encourage in their child.

Isn’t any career a weird thing to encourage in a five year old?

I always cringe a little when I hear people tell little kids that they would be a good lawyer because they like to whine and argue. Or that little Larla is going to be a doctor one day.

For me it was when I was 27ish and watching the parents of young kids in my office struggling with my same job hours and travel. Every single one with two working parents was always stressed, stretched and missing something.

I didn’t decide I wanted to be a SAHM, but I did decide I didn’t want to try to raise a family with two jobs with long hours and little flexibility. I felt conned.

I know this isn’t what the troll OP was going for and we’re supposed to be arguing about whether young women on tiktok are bad people, but I think that’s misogyny taking our eye off the ball.

You either change work to accommodate young families, or young families have to leave work.

My kindergartener told me he wanted to be a cat when he grew up. Now he was definitely trolling me, but it was funny. He then pretended to be a cat for a solid ten minutes (which is actually a pretty long time to be crawling around meowing).

He's a fun kid.

I think OP could have put that her daughter wanted to be almost anything (a vet, a lawyer, an ice cream shop owner), and people would have posted about how stupid and wrong she is.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer, and one thing that's pretty consistent about my colleagues is that they met their spouses either in college or law school. My friend who's a pediatrician? Married to another pediatrician.

Point is, you can't just be a SAH parent, you have to be the kind of person someone with an income enough to support that kind of family would marry. College grads tend very strongly to marry other college grads.

Google "assertive mating" and "college" and you can read more about this.

I posted that I became a SAHM at 38. I met DH when I was at an Ivy League grad school.

My friend who wanted to be a SAHM all her life didn’t finish college and worked odd jobs her whole life. She would have been a WAY better SAHM than me. My academic and career experience doesn’t translate well to homemaking. I do have 3 smart kids.

I'm a lawyer, and one thing that's pretty consistent about my colleagues is that they met their spouses either in college or law school. My friend who's a pediatrician? Married to another pediatrician.

Point is, you can't just be a SAH parent, you have to be the kind of person someone with an income enough to support that kind of family would marry. College grads tend very strongly to marry other college grads.

Google "assertive mating" and "college" and you can read more about this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.

Why would you do that? I mean, you can do any job you want to do. Why pick one you hate?

The vast majority of people are working to out food on the table, princess. Most jobs that need to be done aren’t anyone’s dream jobs. Pull your head out, please.

The vast majority of people on this site went to college and many went to grad school. There aren’t a lot of factory workers here.
You deliberately chose your field, you deliberately chose the job you have in it, and you deliberately choose to go to that job every day instead of getting a different one.
If you are doing something you hate, that’s on you.

Have you always been a miserable B or are you just grumpy about the inauguration?

Are you under the impression that white collar workers don’t hate their jobs? I would bet that many factory workers actively have more job satisfaction than the average sales call powerpoint making office worker. You are so out of touch it’s laughable.

But, like many, I didn’t know at 18 (when I started down my difficult and time-consuming career path) that the extremely useful, practical field I chose to study wouldn’t lead to ever lasting contentment and happiness. So you know what I did? I quit to be a SAHM! My kids make me way happier than dealing with entitled people like you every day…

I’m not miserable. I, like most people who have the option, chose a career that I like. Sounds like you are happy in your chosen career too.

I don’t know who the poor soul is that is commuting to a job they hate with coworkers and a boss that don’t appreciate them and a family that doesn’t see them and doesn’t miss them.
I hope that person is able to see that they have other options.

I’ve been a SAHM for over a decade, but I think aiming to be a SAH parent before you even get married is unwise. I obviously don’t think, as some people say, a woman has to keep working “just in case” she gets divorced, but I DO think it’s important she has the education and skills to support her family if needed.

When I was young my mom worked crazy long hours in a male dominated field and I knew I wanted a career that gave me flexibility and time with my family, even if it wasn’t super lucrative. I had this career until DH made more than enough for us both and then I stopped working. So I didn’t dream of being a SAHM, but I did dream of putting a fair amount of time into being domestic and raising kids.

I knew in grad school I wanted to be at most half time when my kids were young. I ended up doing that for a few years then almost entirely sahm (while keeping up credentials) for a few years and now back 3/4 time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.

Why would you do that? I mean, you can do any job you want to do. Why pick one you hate?

The vast majority of people are working to out food on the table, princess. Most jobs that need to be done aren’t anyone’s dream jobs. Pull your head out, please.

The vast majority of people on this site went to college and many went to grad school. There aren’t a lot of factory workers here.
You deliberately chose your field, you deliberately chose the job you have in it, and you deliberately choose to go to that job every day instead of getting a different one.
If you are doing something you hate, that’s on you.

Have you always been a miserable B or are you just grumpy about the inauguration?

Are you under the impression that white collar workers don’t hate their jobs? I would bet that many factory workers actively have more job satisfaction than the average sales call powerpoint making office worker. You are so out of touch it’s laughable.

But, like many, I didn’t know at 18 (when I started down my difficult and time-consuming career path) that the extremely useful, practical field I chose to study wouldn’t lead to ever lasting contentment and happiness. So you know what I did? I quit to be a SAHM! My kids make me way happier than dealing with entitled people like you every day…