Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s appropriate. 3 kids through high school, one remaining. Outside Parent Teacher conferences, I never communicated with any teacher. My kids did not have any accommodations, so could see communication of that was the case.

I’d like some lower school and intermediate /middle school student parent perspectives. They have the same policy there- parents out of the picture.

My kid got dragged into a Restorative Justice session when witnessing bullying. Parents were never told, or at least we weren’t.

A couple months later when my kid was the target of the same bully and not wanting to go to school, she disclosed this mtg that happened a couple months ago.

Apparently she only said some benign thing at the mtg, in front of the bully snd whole group since that’s how the guidance counselor rolls, about how everyone should be nice. And then the retaliation game began.

First I asked teacher wtf was going on. Silence; everyone is nice here. Then we had to go to guidance counselor, got total shock from her. Lastly I ran into some parents who all had issues with the same bully bullying their kid. Took months to figure that out with zero help, only zero communication, from the lower school.

And they had the gall to say, when we requested distance with next years homeroom, you should have told us right away!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids attend two Big 3s and both have the philosophy that parents should not be involved in any conversations between students and teachers/coaches.

When teachers/coaches are snarky, inappropriate, or even verbally abusive, the students are supposed to handle it themselves. Students are even punished if parents get involved.

Supposedly this is all in the name of student empowerment but say what you will even a 18 yr old is not on the same footing as a teacher or coach. This seems a perfect way for teachers/coaches to avoid accountability.

On the flip side I get that some parents are privileged PITAs and whine over every little thing making teachers’ lives a misery and wasting their time.

How can schools find a better way than telling students and parents in a blanket way that parents should not be involved in conversations with teachers/coaches?

LOL! Sidwell again and Bryan!

Problem is they do not tell the Board Members to butt out so there is an imbalance. The board members and their very opinionated spouses tend to have a lot of say and input in every single thing at the school (including changing dates of events to suit their schedule) while the regular non vip parents have zero say.

HOS should not have their main role be fundraising. What happens is they end up spending all of their time with the board members and those vips donating large sums instead of getting to know all of the students. So embarrassing after a game last year and the HOS was sucking up to the large donors and vips kids at the game and barely spoke to the rest of the students on the team.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And the teachers will retaliate. The students know this and the teachers know they know it. The kids keep quiet because they know their grades will suffer and most leave the school vowing never to return except for a handful of students who the administration fawns over.

That sounds like a fun school. Why do so many parents keep making their kids go there?

Because they did not know before enrolling. Once you are there, it is difficult to move to another school, esp in high school.

Anonymous wrote:And the teachers will retaliate. The students know this and the teachers know they know it. The kids keep quiet because they know their grades will suffer and most leave the school vowing never to return except for a handful of students who the administration fawns over.

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s appropriate. 3 kids through high school, one remaining. Outside Parent Teacher conferences, I never communicated with any teacher. My kids did not have any accommodations, so could see communication of that was the case.

Anonymous wrote:Our kids attend two Big 3s and both have the philosophy that parents should not be involved in any conversations between students and teachers/coaches.

When teachers/coaches are snarky, inappropriate, or even verbally abusive, the students are supposed to handle it themselves. Students are even punished if parents get involved.

Supposedly this is all in the name of student empowerment but say what you will even a 18 yr old is not on the same footing as a teacher or coach. This seems a perfect way for teachers/coaches to avoid accountability.

On the flip side I get that some parents are privileged PITAs and whine over every little thing making teachers’ lives a misery and wasting their time.

How can schools find a better way than telling students and parents in a blanket way that parents should not be involved in conversations with teachers/coaches?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher, and I have almost 20 years of experience.

The situation has radically changed over the past several years. While most parents are reasonable and perfectly pleasant, there is a small, crazed minority of parents who have ruined the system for the majority of teachers, students, and parents. These policies are in place because that is the only way to ensure that teachers are not harrassed, slandered, and attacked by a minority of (very, VERY) badly-behaved parents.

I have witnessed a bevy of moms make it their single purpose to humiliate and destroy the careers of colleagues. I have witnessed parents cursing and shouting at colleagues. I have directly experienced parents who send me abusive emails before they have bothered to learn the facts of a situation, and parents who cannot conceal their disgust and scorn for teachers in general, and who believe and act as if every teacher is an enemy and peasant who must be bullied. Again, this is not the majority of parents, but when the minority of badly-behaved parents is allowed to run rampant, it destroys the atmosphere for all teachers at the school, as well as the well-being and possibly the career of the teacher receiving the brunt of the abuse. I do not think any other working professional routinely endures the insults and abuse teachers receive. I really don't.

I agree that constructing a wall between parent and teacher is not the ideal way to support students. But I also don't see any alternative. I don't think it is possible to fully understand just how bad some parents behave toward teachers unless you have witnessed this.

For the record, I have a track record of strong AP scores and great relationships with students and parents. Most of the teachers I have seen abused by parents were perfectly competent as well (not all, but even with weaker teachers, abusing them doesn't improve the situation).

I don't know what the solution is here. But I suggest that rather than blaming the school for these unpleasant policies, you look toward the few badly-behaved parents who have ruined things for us all.

I’m a teacher too. I can handle parents because I’m organized, fair, timely and transparent. It is infuriating to pay $50k a year for teachers who barely do their jobs. And anyone who thinks students should suffer because teachers need to be protected from a handful of mean mommies probably shouldn’t be teaching.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids attend two Big 3s and both have the philosophy that parents should not be involved in any conversations between students and teachers/coaches.

When teachers/coaches are snarky, inappropriate, or even verbally abusive, the students are supposed to handle it themselves. Students are even punished if parents get involved.

Supposedly this is all in the name of student empowerment but say what you will even a 18 yr old is not on the same footing as a teacher or coach. This seems a perfect way for teachers/coaches to avoid accountability.

On the flip side I get that some parents are privileged PITAs and whine over every little thing making teachers’ lives a misery and wasting their time.

How can schools find a better way than telling students and parents in a blanket way that parents should not be involved in conversations with teachers/coaches?

LOL! Sidwell again and Bryan!

Problem is they do not tell the Board Members to butt out so there is an imbalance. The board members and their very opinionated spouses tend to have a lot of say and input in every single thing at the school (including changing dates of events to suit their schedule) while the regular non vip parents have zero say.

HOS should not have their main role be fundraising. What happens is they end up spending all of their time with the board members and those vips donating large sums instead of getting to know all of the students. So embarrassing after a game last year and the HOS was sucking up to the large donors and vips kids at the game and barely spoke to the rest of the students on the team.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher, and I have almost 20 years of experience.

The situation has radically changed over the past several years. While most parents are reasonable and perfectly pleasant, there is a small, crazed minority of parents who have ruined the system for the majority of teachers, students, and parents. These policies are in place because that is the only way to ensure that teachers are not harrassed, slandered, and attacked by a minority of (very, VERY) badly-behaved parents.

I have witnessed a bevy of moms make it their single purpose to humiliate and destroy the careers of colleagues. I have witnessed parents cursing and shouting at colleagues. I have directly experienced parents who send me abusive emails before they have bothered to learn the facts of a situation, and parents who cannot conceal their disgust and scorn for teachers in general, and who believe and act as if every teacher is an enemy and peasant who must be bullied. Again, this is not the majority of parents, but when the minority of badly-behaved parents is allowed to run rampant, it destroys the atmosphere for all teachers at the school, as well as the well-being and possibly the career of the teacher receiving the brunt of the abuse. I do not think any other working professional routinely endures the insults and abuse teachers receive. I really don't.

I agree that constructing a wall between parent and teacher is not the ideal way to support students. But I also don't see any alternative. I don't think it is possible to fully understand just how bad some parents behave toward teachers unless you have witnessed this.

For the record, I have a track record of strong AP scores and great relationships with students and parents. Most of the teachers I have seen abused by parents were perfectly competent as well (not all, but even with weaker teachers, abusing them doesn't improve the situation).

I don't know what the solution is here. But I suggest that rather than blaming the school for these unpleasant policies, you look toward the few badly-behaved parents who have ruined things for us all.

I’m a teacher too. I can handle parents because I’m organized, fair, timely and transparent. It is infuriating to pay $50k a year for teachers who barely do their jobs. And anyone who thinks students should suffer because teachers need to be protected from a handful of mean mommies probably shouldn’t be teaching.