Anonymous wrote:Meu Deus do ceu! Isso e pq vc nunca deve perguntar americanos nada. Faz a festa pra ela e nao se preocupe com povão. Good heavens! That's because you should never ask Americans anything. Throw her a party and don't worry about the crowd.

If OP was still in Brazil, she’d have known what to do there. She was looking for what others may have done if also in similar situation outside of Brazil.

Anonymous wrote:I am in the event industry. Quince's in this area cost about the same as weddings, which is to say they start around 25K, and many are upwards of 50K, and even higher is not that unusual. It's not even your culture. Tell her no.

I teach at a high school that has an almost entirely Hispanic student body and many of the girls have quinces. Many also forgo quinces for cars instead, or because they are so expensive. One thing about them though is that when they’re part of your culture, the burden of the cost is lifted by others - many of my students’ quinces are community funded in a way because the aunt and uncle’s gift might be paying for the food, the grandparents might pay for the alcohol, etc. So the parents don’t typically pay all $25k because it’s such an important family event that the quinceanera’s loved ones help pay for aspects of it.


That wouldn’t really apply to OP so she’d be paying $15-$20k for a version of a quince she and her daughter just kinda made up since neither are familiar with the tradition. It’s more than just the party; there’s the religious ceremony, the dance with the chambelan- op didn’t grow up doing this despite being Brazilian so I really don’t know how she and her kid would properly plan it or if the daughter really just wants a sweet 16 with a fancy dress.

Anonymous wrote:OP I would try to figure out what they do in Brazil these days and take it from there. Call it whatever Brazilians call it. Also as a middle eastern immigrant I agree that the obsession with cultural appropriation is an American thing. First generation immigrants don’t understand what the fuss is about and tend to see what Americans call cultural appropriation as a type of flattery.

If you don’t know and have to ask then its probably not for you. OP should just do a sweet 16.

OP I would try to figure out what they do in Brazil these days and take it from there. Call it whatever Brazilians call it. Also as a middle eastern immigrant I agree that the obsession with cultural appropriation is an American thing. First generation immigrants don’t understand what the fuss is about and tend to see what Americans call cultural appropriation as a type of flattery.

Anonymous wrote:Meu Deus do ceu! Isso e pq vc nunca deve perguntar americanos nada. Faz a festa pra ela e nao se preocupe com povão.

Pqp, né?

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of white people arguing about cultural appropriation is what I needed to start my day.

It’s just as bad when a “wounded” party cries cultural appropriation over a hair style or an outfit. Enough foolishness especially from people born in this country. We’re a mixed culture. Stop trying to separate everyone.

Meu Deus do ceu! Isso e pq vc nunca deve perguntar americanos nada. Faz a festa pra ela e nao se preocupe com povão.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of white people arguing about cultural appropriation is what I needed to start my day.

No, you need to educate yourself.

https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2017/06/28/533818685/cultural-appropriation-is-in-fact-indefensible

Do better !

Way to misuse the term and the debate. Cultural appropriation is about not giving credit and grabbing opportunities from oppressed groups in art. How does it relate to a quinceañera? Could ir be silly? Yes. But in no way its cultural appropriation.

Signed- someone from a country that does quinceañeras.

I see a lot of people saying it’s a Mexican custom but it is a Latin American custom since the days of the conquistadores. In the DC area we have a very large Salvadoran community which is why you see so many of these Quinceañera dresses at malls and Latin American stores in the area. I chose not to have one because it was going to be too expensive for my parents. I chose college over a party.

A Quince celebrates that a Mexican girl is ready to be married. If you have never been to one, the girl wears something that looks like a wedding dress and has an escort that seems a lot like a groom and a "court" that looks a lot like a wedding party.

Its a lot of money and headache, money should go towards something useful, college fund, car, laptop, starting a stock trade account.

Anonymous wrote:Tell her it’s cultural appropriation and she won’t be having one.

This. Give her a sweet 16 and a car instead.

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of white people arguing about cultural appropriation is what I needed to start my day.

No, you need to educate yourself.

https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2017/06/28/533818685/cultural-appropriation-is-in-fact-indefensible

Do better !

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of white people arguing about cultural appropriation is what I needed to start my day.

Pretty much…even after people of said culture have explained it’s not the case.

I think if it’s something you have to ask so many questions about, you probably shouldn’t have one. It would be weird. Offer another type of celebration for her 15th birthday.

Has she even been to a quince? Are any of her friends having one?