Yep. And I expect a decent attitude, so I get buy in. Once kids were in high school, I would come up with a list of 4 options/ destinations DH and I were excited about. And then we had family ranked choice voting. Kicked out everyone’s last choice and then the votes decided. Also, everyone in the family gets to choose a couple of (reasonable) activities for the family. We did a street art class in Paris with one kid, and a chocolate food tour with another. BUT, kids activities are scheduled later in the trip, and if you have a crappy attitude about someone else’s activity, I will cancel yours.

And high school kids, can’t hide in the hotel all day. But, when people start flagging, they can peel off and have some downtime. And, my kids are sensible and I trust them. So, in safe cities/ countries they can venture out together during the day and do something different than DH and I. Or walk to a nearby cafe for dinner while DH and I do something more formal.

Basically, once you have teens, you will almost always get much better results (in everything, not just travel) if you give them some control (or the illusion of control) and let them have some input, listen to their (constructive) suggestions.

So no— kids do not get to veto travel. But, as they get older they do get buy in and choices. I get the parents make decisions model. But, we ideally would have traveled with teens for 6-7 years. COVID cut that short. So, the trips should be something they will enjoy too. I turn 50 this year and my kids are college sophomores and seniors. The travel together phase is winding down with different college schedules, summer commitments, different breaks, etc. and, now the kids are doing college study abroad and DH and I are starting to plan trips that the kids were not as interested in.

Anonymous wrote:Depends why they don't want to travel. My answer is different if it is because they struggle with the disruption to their routine, hotel sleeping, jet lag, etc vs not wanting to spend time with family or missing electronics

This. My teens say they “hate” traveling because they miss electronics. But, they love it once they are already at the destination. Thus, I always force them to travel. It works for us.

My kid was happy to travel until he hit high school. Then he didn't want to go anywhere at all. An overseas plane trip? No. A short overnight car trip? No. Nothing. He just wanted to relax at home. We made him do a few trips for family events but that was it. Now he's in college and starting to like travel again.

Anonymous wrote:Your kids sound spoiled. My teen would jump at the chance to travel overseas.

Your kid sounds deprived. Cut back somewhere and save up to take your teen overseas.

Your kids sound spoiled. My teen would jump at the chance to travel overseas.

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teen, my parents let me invite a friend along on vacations (even to Europe). It made it more fun for me. I’m pretty sure the other family chipped in for airfare or something. This was with a close friend.

Just an idea!

Classic DCUM response — pay to take someone else’s kid to Europe!

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teen, my parents let me invite a friend along on vacations (even to Europe). It made it more fun for me. I’m pretty sure the other family chipped in for airfare or something. This was with a close friend.

Just an idea!

I really don't want to travel with 6 boys for all of our trips, but yes we have invited friends a few times.

Anonymous wrote:The vacation doesn't matter. What matters is they want to spend the break with their friends. That is why they don't like travel at this point.

NP here. We catered to the kids for 10-15 years, but then noticed that few of their friends were home, they were mostly traveling. But, our DC liked the comfort of home.

When I was a teen, my parents let me invite a friend along on vacations (even to Europe). It made it more fun for me. I’m pretty sure the other family chipped in for airfare or something. This was with a close friend.

Just an idea!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly you are doing something wrong on your trips.
As your kids what kind of vacations they are in to.

Clearly you haven’t had the pleasure of parenting teenagers yet. You’ll see, lol. You’ll be eating your words!

Not PP you were responding to, but I have an 18 and 13 year old, and they would never dare say they don't want to go. Sometimes they get grumpy, but nothing that a fun excursion or fun food won't fix. I work hard to include activities they'll like, and the expectation is that we're a family unit and we do things together. The college freshman will still accompany us this summer, as far as his internship will allow.

All my friends have teens, and they ALL, without exception, accompany their parents on trips and have fun on vacation.

So I don't know what's wrong with your teens, PP, but your situation is not the norm.

oh give me a break. your kids and all your friends kids are not typical

That poster said it themselves - their kids wouldn’t DARE say it. They think it/feel it.

What does fairly well traveled mean? Very weird thing to say. Maybe you are insufferable and that’s why your children don’t want to travel with you. Just a thought.

The vacation doesn't matter. What matters is they want to spend the break with their friends. That is why they don't like travel at this point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly you are doing something wrong on your trips.
As your kids what kind of vacations they are in to.

Clearly you haven’t had the pleasure of parenting teenagers yet. You’ll see, lol. You’ll be eating your words!

NP here. Maybe, maybe not. My teen still likes to travel with us. And when my siblings and I were teenagers, we still liked family vacations, too. So I’m sure some teens complain, but it’s by no means a universal problem.

No one said it is.

Well, PP said “you’ll see… you’ll be eating your words.” This implies a certain, not possible, outcome.

tbh I have one who doesn't love a lot about travel (anxious flyer, not an adventurous eater, not a beach or super outdoorsy person and also not a history buff). anyhow, he is now in his 20s so rarely gets an invite anymore and now he misses it.... the irony

Yes I would still travel. I am not putting my life on hold for a moody teen. The can stay in the room and stare at their screen all day while I go out an explore.

But I do wonder. Do your kids really not enjoy travel at all? Is there any travel they would enjoy? If big cities and museums aren't their thing maybe a trip that involves an activity they enjoy. I know if we plan for surfing in our trip my son would never say no.