Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At our school it is the popular/cool girls who are into volleyball and coincidentally they are the mean girls.

You must have a small school or popularity associated with height. At ours, 5'9 or below isn't making the team

+100

Everyone who made the freshman team this year is 5’8” or taller. My DD doesn’t play volleyball but has several friends who do. The girls seem nice enough- have not heard anything negative.

This depends so much on the coach. At our school tennis and lacrosse (boys and girls) are the “mean kid” sports, volleyball and basketball are known for being supportive and welcoming. 20 years ago when I taught at a private middle school dance team was the mean girls and wrestling was the mean boys. All of this tracks directly to the attitudes of the coaches and what behavior they encouraged, tolerated, and rewarded.

OP, if you are seriously considering steering your child away from volleyball because you’ve heard that all volleyball teams attract mean girls, you are hopelessly lacking in analytical skills. I also find it extremely hard to believe anyone who played D1 sports would be asking this question. Every school team is different, and most kids with good parental guidance can navigate most of them just fine. If you come to find a team your DD is on has a toxic culture, you can make a switch then.

The field hockey girls are the mean ones at my daughters school! The Volleyball girls are nice and on the dorky side.

anecdotal: my DD played rec league in MS. The girls who were the "best" players were mean. And that continued onto HS. DD dropped volleyball. Admittedly, she wasn't that great at it, but she enjoyed the game itself, but not enough to deal with the mean girls.

Anonymous wrote:At our school it is the popular/cool girls who are into volleyball and coincidentally they are the mean girls.

You must have a small school or popularity associated with height. At ours, 5'9 or below isn't making the team

I think it varies by school and there's nothing inherently "mean girl" about volleyball.

My daughter would say volleyball girls are nice, field hockey girls are mean.

Volleyball is not really a sport at DD's public. The team exists but no one knows anything about it. The mean girls who aren't really mean but just popular girls are on soccer.

My child plays JV on a high school team. Last year and the previous year, the varsity squad developed a “mean” culture. This was brought to the attention of the AD and other admin. New varsity coach this year who has established different expectations for behavior and, with the departure of last year’s seniors, the team vibe is much improved.

Parents and a school can do something to address this sort of team dynamic. Kids need to know mean behavior will not be tolerated.

My DD is in her 3rd year playing volleyball at a large NOVA public school. Volleyball here seems to be popular with three groups--the wealthier girls who can afford club, the girls from immigrant families who culturally play a lot of volleyball, and the athletic girls who want to play a fall sport. It is a nice mix. DD is one of the athletic, multi-sport girls and loves her team. It is so much fun.

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t you ask your daughter who made the comment what she meant? What was the point of rolling your eyes when you are actually curious about the comment?

+1, and my interpretation is that she is not talking about a general stereotype of volleyball players but the reputations of the girls who play volleyball at the school your kids attend.

It really does suck if your younger daughter is great at volleyball and likes it, but the team has a toxic culture. I'd definitely want more information to find out if there is any truth to it. Maybe it was just one cohort who was around at the same time as your older DD, and now it's better. Or maybe the culture sucks, but there are things you can do to insulate your younger DD from it if she continues to play.

Why didn’t you ask your daughter who made the comment what she meant? What was the point of rolling your eyes when you are actually curious about the comment?

At our school it is the popular/cool girls who are into volleyball and coincidentally they are the mean girls.

Anonymous wrote:A
T my big three it was lacrosse and field hockey. They all loved wearing their short purple skirts to school on game day. Like cheerleaders.

How does that make them mean?