Anonymous wrote:

BBT wrote:I am 42, we have no children, and are about to start a cycle at CCRM Nova. We have a finance Appt tomorrow to understand the charges but I am bracing myself for it being around $25k per cycle. This is very hard for me to digest and accept and, frankly, I am not sure I want to go through with this. How is everyone paying for this? I read posts of so many having MANY cycles. If we can pay for only 1, at my age and using my eggs, it feels like money we are throwing away.

We paid for it with money. But in all seriousness, I got a second job. IVF is quite similar to building a house…if you’re not 100% comfortable with standing at the top of a mountain on a windy day while peeling $100 bills off a stack and letting them fly away in the breeze, then you’re probably gonna have a bad time.

My wife had always struggled with PCOS, so we went thru all the fertility screening appointments a few years before intending to have children to know where we stood. Thankfully we qualified for shared risk. When Dr. Dimattina told us we qualified, I told my wife on the way out the door not to stress because we were gonna have a baby eventually as long as we didn’t quit since no one can stay in business handing out $25k refunds left and right. I ballparked the cost to be $50k all-in…ended up being $47k total with 2 retrievals, 4 transfers, all the drugs, with a healthy baby boy in the end. We could’ve stretched our budget, done some credit tricks, and/or borrowed, but my wife was stressed enough about the physical part and I didn’t want her to worry about the finances on top of it.

The second job? I was and forever will be a night owl, so I drove uber/lyft from 9pm until the wee hours on Friday & Saturday nights while my wife slept lots to prepare her body. Scrimped where we could and banked the $50k in less than a year. Felt good writing out that $25k check in the finance office knowing we didn’t have to borrow it. The transition from driving uber on the weekends to fatherhood was a breeze as feeding a baby at 2am is a cakewalk compared to dealing with wild drunks at 4am.

My best advice for anyone reading this…start early if you think you’re gonna struggle conceiving You can’t qualify for shared risk at an advanced maternal age. There’s no harm in getting a thorough reproductive/endocrine screening at 30-something if you think you’ll ever possibly want children. Too late will come eventually for every woman.

BBT wrote:I am 42, we have no children, and are about to start a cycle at CCRM Nova. We have a finance Appt tomorrow to understand the charges but I am bracing myself for it being around $25k per cycle. This is very hard for me to digest and accept and, frankly, I am not sure I want to go through with this. How is everyone paying for this? I read posts of so many having MANY cycles. If we can pay for only 1, at my age and using my eggs, it feels like money we are throwing away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single fed, mid-30s freezing my eggs only due to savings accrued during the student loan forbearance since 2020. I have no insurance coverage or family financial support. I live in a dingy basement apartment that I hate, but lets me save money to do this. Hopefully, I'll meet someone and never have to use the eggs, but if I have a son I may just have to name him Joe to thank Biden for the forbearance.

God help you.

Thanks! Feeling pretty good going into it with my lab results. I have a solid income, 6-month emergency fund, job security, and fortunately can do this without breaking the bank specifically thanks to the student loan forbearance and living very frugally during the pandemic. I know so many mid-30something friends who either have already decided to never have children or are too afraid to think about it and look into it, so I think I've planned well and at the very least, I'll know I did everything I could to try and have the family I wanted, even if a pandemic and biology ultimately say it's not to be. I know I can't afford to be a single mom, but I think I'll feel more free dating afterwards knowing that the rest of it is out of my hands.

You can’t afford student loans that you yourself took out, what makes you think you’re responsible enough to parent? Are you going to depend on the taxpayer for most of that, too?

-paid my student loans in full

OP here. I serve the public because I love and care for others, whether I know them or not, and certainly whether they like me or not. You may not agree with my religion or values, but since you're worried about the burden to the taxpayer, I'm happy to assure you that I made a sound investment. I recently put myself through graduate school and took out a reasonable amount of loans, knowing that my income earning potential ensured I can pay them off even if PSLF options disappear. At the end of the day, I'm literally trying to birth a new taxpayer someday in a fiscally responsible way; just doing my part to help the low U.S. birth rate

Just curious - what would have said if I didn't mention I was a govt. employee with student loans? What makes some of us worthy and others not? Your reaction fascinates me.

OP is 42 with a partner who is starting IVF. You’re a single fed in your 30s freezing your eggs who hijacked OP’s post and is now claiming to be her? Get help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single fed, mid-30s freezing my eggs only due to savings accrued during the student loan forbearance since 2020. I have no insurance coverage or family financial support. I live in a dingy basement apartment that I hate, but lets me save money to do this. Hopefully, I'll meet someone and never have to use the eggs, but if I have a son I may just have to name him Joe to thank Biden for the forbearance.

God help you.

Thanks! Feeling pretty good going into it with my lab results. I have a solid income, 6-month emergency fund, job security, and fortunately can do this without breaking the bank specifically thanks to the student loan forbearance and living very frugally during the pandemic. I know so many mid-30something friends who either have already decided to never have children or are too afraid to think about it and look into it, so I think I've planned well and at the very least, I'll know I did everything I could to try and have the family I wanted, even if a pandemic and biology ultimately say it's not to be. I know I can't afford to be a single mom, but I think I'll feel more free dating afterwards knowing that the rest of it is out of my hands.

You can’t afford student loans that you yourself took out, what makes you think you’re responsible enough to parent? Are you going to depend on the taxpayer for most of that, too?

-paid my student loans in full

OP here. I serve the public because I love and care for others, whether I know them or not, and certainly whether they like me or not. You may not agree with my religion or values, but since you're worried about the burden to the taxpayer, I'm happy to assure you that I made a sound investment. I recently put myself through graduate school and took out a reasonable amount of loans, knowing that my income earning potential ensured I can pay them off even if PSLF options disappear. At the end of the day, I'm literally trying to birth a new taxpayer someday in a fiscally responsible way; just doing my part to help the low U.S. birth rate

Just curious - what would have said if I didn't mention I was a govt. employee with student loans? What makes some of us worthy and others not? Your reaction fascinates me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single fed, mid-30s freezing my eggs only due to savings accrued during the student loan forbearance since 2020. I have no insurance coverage or family financial support. I live in a dingy basement apartment that I hate, but lets me save money to do this. Hopefully, I'll meet someone and never have to use the eggs, but if I have a son I may just have to name him Joe to thank Biden for the forbearance.

God help you.

Thanks! Feeling pretty good going into it with my lab results. I have a solid income, 6-month emergency fund, job security, and fortunately can do this without breaking the bank specifically thanks to the student loan forbearance and living very frugally during the pandemic. I know so many mid-30something friends who either have already decided to never have children or are too afraid to think about it and look into it, so I think I've planned well and at the very least, I'll know I did everything I could to try and have the family I wanted, even if a pandemic and biology ultimately say it's not to be. I know I can't afford to be a single mom, but I think I'll feel more free dating afterwards knowing that the rest of it is out of my hands.

You can’t afford student loans that you yourself took out, what makes you think you’re responsible enough to parent? Are you going to depend on the taxpayer for most of that, too?

-paid my student loans in full

Get over yourself and check your privilege. You know nothing about this person's situation, the support they got, or the degrees they have.

-BA,MA,PhD paid my student loans in full and still in favor of debt relief
-

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single fed, mid-30s freezing my eggs only due to savings accrued during the student loan forbearance since 2020. I have no insurance coverage or family financial support. I live in a dingy basement apartment that I hate, but lets me save money to do this. Hopefully, I'll meet someone and never have to use the eggs, but if I have a son I may just have to name him Joe to thank Biden for the forbearance.

God help you.

Thanks! Feeling pretty good going into it with my lab results. I have a solid income, 6-month emergency fund, job security, and fortunately can do this without breaking the bank specifically thanks to the student loan forbearance and living very frugally during the pandemic. I know so many mid-30something friends who either have already decided to never have children or are too afraid to think about it and look into it, so I think I've planned well and at the very least, I'll know I did everything I could to try and have the family I wanted, even if a pandemic and biology ultimately say it's not to be. I know I can't afford to be a single mom, but I think I'll feel more free dating afterwards knowing that the rest of it is out of my hands.

You can’t afford student loans that you yourself took out, what makes you think you’re responsible enough to parent? Are you going to depend on the taxpayer for most of that, too?

-paid my student loans in full

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single fed, mid-30s freezing my eggs only due to savings accrued during the student loan forbearance since 2020. I have no insurance coverage or family financial support. I live in a dingy basement apartment that I hate, but lets me save money to do this. Hopefully, I'll meet someone and never have to use the eggs, but if I have a son I may just have to name him Joe to thank Biden for the forbearance.

God help you.

Thanks! Feeling pretty good going into it with my lab results. I have a solid income, 6-month emergency fund, job security, and fortunately can do this without breaking the bank specifically thanks to the student loan forbearance and living very frugally during the pandemic. I know so many mid-30something friends who either have already decided to never have children or are too afraid to think about it and look into it, so I think I've planned well and at the very least, I'll know I did everything I could to try and have the family I wanted, even if a pandemic and biology ultimately say it's not to be. I know I can't afford to be a single mom, but I think I'll feel more free dating afterwards knowing that the rest of it is out of my hands.

You can’t afford student loans that you yourself took out, what makes you think you’re responsible enough to parent? Are you going to depend on the taxpayer for most of that, too?

-paid my student loans in full

Get over yourself and check your privilege. You know nothing about this person's situation, the support they got, or the degrees they have.

-BA,MA,PhD paid my student loans in full and still in favor of debt relief
-

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single fed, mid-30s freezing my eggs only due to savings accrued during the student loan forbearance since 2020. I have no insurance coverage or family financial support. I live in a dingy basement apartment that I hate, but lets me save money to do this. Hopefully, I'll meet someone and never have to use the eggs, but if I have a son I may just have to name him Joe to thank Biden for the forbearance.

God help you.

Thanks! Feeling pretty good going into it with my lab results. I have a solid income, 6-month emergency fund, job security, and fortunately can do this without breaking the bank specifically thanks to the student loan forbearance and living very frugally during the pandemic. I know so many mid-30something friends who either have already decided to never have children or are too afraid to think about it and look into it, so I think I've planned well and at the very least, I'll know I did everything I could to try and have the family I wanted, even if a pandemic and biology ultimately say it's not to be. I know I can't afford to be a single mom, but I think I'll feel more free dating afterwards knowing that the rest of it is out of my hands.

You can’t afford student loans that you yourself took out, what makes you think you’re responsible enough to parent? Are you going to depend on the taxpayer for most of that, too?

-paid my student loans in full

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single fed, mid-30s freezing my eggs only due to savings accrued during the student loan forbearance since 2020. I have no insurance coverage or family financial support. I live in a dingy basement apartment that I hate, but lets me save money to do this. Hopefully, I'll meet someone and never have to use the eggs, but if I have a son I may just have to name him Joe to thank Biden for the forbearance.

God help you.

Thanks! Feeling pretty good going into it with my lab results. I have a solid income, 6-month emergency fund, job security, and fortunately can do this without breaking the bank specifically thanks to the student loan forbearance and living very frugally during the pandemic. I know so many mid-30something friends who either have already decided to never have children or are too afraid to think about it and look into it, so I think I've planned well and at the very least, I'll know I did everything I could to try and have the family I wanted, even if a pandemic and biology ultimately say it's not to be. I know I can't afford to be a single mom, but I think I'll feel more free dating afterwards knowing that the rest of it is out of my hands.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single fed, mid-30s freezing my eggs only due to savings accrued during the student loan forbearance since 2020. I have no insurance coverage or family financial support. I live in a dingy basement apartment that I hate, but lets me save money to do this. Hopefully, I'll meet someone and never have to use the eggs, but if I have a son I may just have to name him Joe to thank Biden for the forbearance.

God help you.