Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your friend think that she is such a bad parent that she is raising criminals?

Do you seriously think no criminals come from good parents? Good parents produce drug addicts. Drug addicts commit crimes. It’s part of the disease of needing money for drugs but frequently not having any.

Mmmmm...drug addicts are created by nurture much more than nature. Think about the behavior chain. That didn't spontaneously happen. It was nurtured from the moment of birth.

I have two cousins who are drug addicts. They were adopted as infants. At least one of their parents was an addict. Their adoptive parents raised them well, taught them how to behave, etc. They experimented with drugs in high school and that was it. Their sibling was not adopted and also experimented. She is not an addict and went to graduate from college. Nature is what got them hooked.

I am sorry but the research doesn't support any of what you're saying. I appreciate that you're trying to "protect" your aunt/uncle but you need to recognize that those kids ended up experimenting with drugs because their parents were not providing the right support and structure in their household. They also weren't monitoring the kids very well. The sibling who was not adopted (raised by another family or her birth family?) got what she needed so she stayed on the right path. If your cousins had gotten what they needed they, too, would not be drug addicts today.

You absolutely won’t be taken seriously claiming “the research doesn’t support..” and then citing no research.

Also, you’re flat wrong about “the research.”

“ At least half of a person's susceptibility to drug addiction can be linked to genetic factors.”

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2008/06/genes-addict

Epigenetic factors associated with intravenous drug use - https://www.pnas.org/content/pnas/115/41/10434.full.pdf

“ Plutarch was right to say that addiction is often a familial trait — and it seems that much of this risk is carried genetically. Joni Rutter, director of the Division of Basic Neuroscience and Behavioral Research at the US National Institute on Drug Abuse in Bethesda, Maryland, says that regardless of the drug involved, about 50% of the risk is genetic, within a range of about 40–60%.”
https://www.nature.com/articles/522S48a

DP here: your cited article says half a person’s susceptibility to addition is genetic. That means half isn’t. That means that good parents CAN produce kids who have addiction problems.

I’m confused by your post. Yes, of course good parents can have kids who are addicts. Good people can struggle with addiction. It’s a complex problem, much of which is caused by genetics. Trauma and a whole variety of diseases can also increase one’s susceptibility to addiction. Millions of good parents also naively gave their kids the opioids that they were prescribed during the 00’s, and lots of those kids — who had no previous addiction issues —- became addicted to opioids.

My post was in response to the PP who seemed to be claiming that research shows that addiction is caused by neglectful patently. That’s just incorrect.

I was reaction

^^ I’m one of several siblings. Only one sibling had an addiction problem, while none others did and parents did not. I’ve never done drugs and may drink one alcoholic drink a year. One parent never drank - ever - and one he about 1-2 glasses of wine in a year. Plenty of good parents produce addicts, with no family history of addiction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your friend think that she is such a bad parent that she is raising criminals?

Do you seriously think no criminals come from good parents? Good parents produce drug addicts. Drug addicts commit crimes. It’s part of the disease of needing money for drugs but frequently not having any.

Mmmmm...drug addicts are created by nurture much more than nature. Think about the behavior chain. That didn't spontaneously happen. It was nurtured from the moment of birth.

I have two cousins who are drug addicts. They were adopted as infants. At least one of their parents was an addict. Their adoptive parents raised them well, taught them how to behave, etc. They experimented with drugs in high school and that was it. Their sibling was not adopted and also experimented. She is not an addict and went to graduate from college. Nature is what got them hooked.

I am sorry but the research doesn't support any of what you're saying. I appreciate that you're trying to "protect" your aunt/uncle but you need to recognize that those kids ended up experimenting with drugs because their parents were not providing the right support and structure in their household. They also weren't monitoring the kids very well. The sibling who was not adopted (raised by another family or her birth family?) got what she needed so she stayed on the right path. If your cousins had gotten what they needed they, too, would not be drug addicts today.

You absolutely won’t be taken seriously claiming “the research doesn’t support..” and then citing no research.

Also, you’re flat wrong about “the research.”

“ At least half of a person's susceptibility to drug addiction can be linked to genetic factors.”

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2008/06/genes-addict

Epigenetic factors associated with intravenous drug use - https://www.pnas.org/content/pnas/115/41/10434.full.pdf

“ Plutarch was right to say that addiction is often a familial trait — and it seems that much of this risk is carried genetically. Joni Rutter, director of the Division of Basic Neuroscience and Behavioral Research at the US National Institute on Drug Abuse in Bethesda, Maryland, says that regardless of the drug involved, about 50% of the risk is genetic, within a range of about 40–60%.”
https://www.nature.com/articles/522S48a

DP here: your cited article says half a person’s susceptibility to addition is genetic. That means half isn’t. That means that good parents CAN produce kids who have addiction problems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your friend think that she is such a bad parent that she is raising criminals?

Do you seriously think no criminals come from good parents? Good parents produce drug addicts. Drug addicts commit crimes. It’s part of the disease of needing money for drugs but frequently not having any.

Mmmmm...drug addicts are created by nurture much more than nature. Think about the behavior chain. That didn't spontaneously happen. It was nurtured from the moment of birth.

I have two cousins who are drug addicts. They were adopted as infants. At least one of their parents was an addict. Their adoptive parents raised them well, taught them how to behave, etc. They experimented with drugs in high school and that was it. Their sibling was not adopted and also experimented. She is not an addict and went to graduate from college. Nature is what got them hooked.

I am sorry but the research doesn't support any of what you're saying. I appreciate that you're trying to "protect" your aunt/uncle but you need to recognize that those kids ended up experimenting with drugs because their parents were not providing the right support and structure in their household. They also weren't monitoring the kids very well. The sibling who was not adopted (raised by another family or her birth family?) got what she needed so she stayed on the right path. If your cousins had gotten what they needed they, too, would not be drug addicts today.

You absolutely won’t be taken seriously claiming “the research doesn’t support..” and then citing no research.

Also, you’re flat wrong about “the research.”

“ At least half of a person's susceptibility to drug addiction can be linked to genetic factors.”

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2008/06/genes-addict

Epigenetic factors associated with intravenous drug use - https://www.pnas.org/content/pnas/115/41/10434.full.pdf

“ Plutarch was right to say that addiction is often a familial trait — and it seems that much of this risk is carried genetically. Joni Rutter, director of the Division of Basic Neuroscience and Behavioral Research at the US National Institute on Drug Abuse in Bethesda, Maryland, says that regardless of the drug involved, about 50% of the risk is genetic, within a range of about 40–60%.”
https://www.nature.com/articles/522S48a

I naively did 23 and me years ago so that genie is already out of the bag. While I regret that some.compamy has my.data forever now, if my children committed crimes that could be traced to them without a doubt, then justice should prevail. Plus, like others have said, I have first, second and third cousins already on the site so I think it's going to be difficult for people to evade this type of stuff in the future unless meaningful restrictions are.placed on the data.

Anonymous wrote:My DH won't let anyone in the family share DNA. I think he is worried about cold cases for himself.

That's crazy! Your DH has no control over an aunt/uncle, cousins, siblings, parents, etc. doing DNA. And when his kids are 18 (21?), they can do DNA without his consent. I have been doing genealogy for decades, and although I am not an expert on DNA, I have been able to connect to 2nd and 3rd cousins and more through DNA matches.

For example, several years ago, a college student did his DNA and was a match to me and my mother. I didn't recognize the name but sent him an email. He told me his grandfather's last name which matched my grandmother's maiden name. It turned out my grandmother's father and his grandfather's father were brothers, so we were third cousins. It's often fairly easy to connect the dots even without very close relatives testing. And easier as more and more people test.

Does it concern you that your husband is hiding something or was that a joke comment at the end?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your friend think that she is such a bad parent that she is raising criminals?

Do you seriously think no criminals come from good parents? Good parents produce drug addicts. Drug addicts commit crimes. It’s part of the disease of needing money for drugs but frequently not having any.

Mmmmm...drug addicts are created by nurture much more than nature. Think about the behavior chain. That didn't spontaneously happen. It was nurtured from the moment of birth.

I have two cousins who are drug addicts. They were adopted as infants. At least one of their parents was an addict. Their adoptive parents raised them well, taught them how to behave, etc. They experimented with drugs in high school and that was it. Their sibling was not adopted and also experimented. She is not an addict and went to graduate from college. Nature is what got them hooked.

Agree. Also knew someone with similar circumstances.

“ It is striking to observe that some criminals are the sons and daughters of parents who are devoted, stable, and responsible. Unfortunately, the best efforts of parents to help and correct this kind of child can and usually do fail. As it turns out the parents are usually the victims, the child the victimizer, not the other way around.” source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inside-the-criminal-mind/201602/parents-dont-turn-children-criminals?amp

“ And while the environment has tremendous power to mold people's behavior and feelings, it's not all powerful. And there are things that people do have that cannot be shaped or changed by even the best or worst environment.” Source https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128542130

“ The sexual sadist who taunted police and journalists for decades with anonymous letters signed BTK—for his “Bind, Torture, Kill” murder method—was the most ostentatiously brutal serial killer that Wichita, Kansas had ever seen. He killed at least 10 people between 1974 and 1991, including four members of the same family (the Oteros). But when Dennis Rader was finally apprehended in 2005, the world was shocked by just how ordinary a life he had otherwise lived.” source https://www.aetv.com/real-crime/serial-killers-who-came-from-good-homes

You can turn off / opt out of searching/sharing which includes the database used by police. They can only search as a relative would and will not find anyone not sharing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your friend think that she is such a bad parent that she is raising criminals?

Do you seriously think no criminals come from good parents? Good parents produce drug addicts. Drug addicts commit crimes. It’s part of the disease of needing money for drugs but frequently not having any.

Mmmmm...drug addicts are created by nurture much more than nature. Think about the behavior chain. That didn't spontaneously happen. It was nurtured from the moment of birth.

I have two cousins who are drug addicts. They were adopted as infants. At least one of their parents was an addict. Their adoptive parents raised them well, taught them how to behave, etc. They experimented with drugs in high school and that was it. Their sibling was not adopted and also experimented. She is not an addict and went to graduate from college. Nature is what got them hooked.

Agree. Also knew someone with similar circumstances.

Anonymous wrote:The Chinese government uses a DNA database for involuntary organ harvesting.

Now that's interesting. Source?

The Chinese government uses a DNA database for involuntary organ harvesting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have daughters so I don't really worry about them committing violent crimes that I might need to conceal. If anything, they might be a victim and more info about them is probably better. I think this is some kind of #boymom agenda.

Good thinking! Ghislaine’s mom agrees!!

Jodi arias, Shayna Hubers, girls, Anissa Weier, Morgan Geyser, Michelle Carter, too. Best never watch a Dateline, 20/20 or 48 Hours. It clashes with the ostrich look.

Anonymous wrote:I have daughters so I don't really worry about them committing violent crimes that I might need to conceal. If anything, they might be a victim and more info about them is probably better. I think this is some kind of #boymom agenda.

Good thinking! Ghislaine’s mom agrees!!

I have daughters so I don't really worry about them committing violent crimes that I might need to conceal. If anything, they might be a victim and more info about them is probably better. I think this is some kind of #boymom agenda.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ you need some more training.

The best parents in the world can raise a lovely kid….who is molested during a sleepover and turns to drugs later.

The best parents in the world can have a kid who has adhd or other cognitive issues which impact the kid making riskier choices.

The best parents in the world can raise a kid who is accused of date rape,’or shoplifting or doing drugs from peer pressure or in order to stay awake and study more.

Mmmmm...Let's take this point by point.

Point #1: they aren't the best parents in the world if their kid is molested during a sleepover. Why? Because they didn't make sure the household was safe where the kid was sleeping over. And the kid didn't feel confident in telling the parents what happened. And they didn't get appropriate help for the kid.

Point #2: they aren't the best parents in the world if they aren't appropriately supporting a kid with ADHS or cognitive issues to help the kid NOT make riskier choices. Parents cannot be the "best" parents if they aren't training their kids to work with their abilities and disabilities.

Point #3: they aren't the best parents in the world if they are shoplifting or doing drugs because of peer pressure or in order to stay awake and study more.

I don't know what planet you're from but your arguments are bad and your parenting must be worse.

(NP)

You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. Really. None.

NP with what you'd call high achieving "good" older teen and a young adult in college, and wow I so disagree with this point-by-point PP. I think this PP does not have older kids. To think that a parent can fully control an older child's every move is not realistic.

This is the same logic that would blame the victim of a rape. "Well, she should have been more careful. She shouldn't have been in this situation." Only it transfers responsibility from the victim to the victim's parents "Well, her parents shouldn't have let her be in this situation"

One of the interesting things that the point-by-point PP reveals is that she sees herself as the star in her DC's life play. That her DC's "goodness" or "badness" is solely due to her.

So, that aside, I don't know if the point-by-point PP has ever paid any attention to the opioid crisis, where so many "good" people; adults and kids--were turned into addicts because their trusted doctors prescribed opioids for things such as period cramps or an athletic injury.