Anonymous
12/06/2020 23:19
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
This is literally NEVER true. Definitionally, the program does not pull from impoverished countries. Middle income at absolute poorest. My au pairs have come from Western Europe. At least one came from a family richer than us (owned a vineyard).
Many APs are from Columbia, Thailand, China, SA...even young women from western Europe are not from wealthy families, otherwise why would they allow their children to do this....c'mon this was addressed very early in the thread...your child may take a gap year, but not to become a domestic servant in Europe...
Anonymous
12/06/2020 23:08
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks au pairs want to be treated more like nannies needs to meet more au pairs.
Republicans are against the program (see current Trump ban) because they hate immigrants and dont want immigrants taking jobs from "Americans." They also dont give a flip if women are forced out of the workforce, as they'd prefer all American women to be in the home full time caring for children. "
So you think that the solution to getting American women back into the workforce during Covid is to exploit young women from impoverished countries? We are on a forum filled with some of the highest earners in the US. The assertion that they cannot pay minimum wage to their domestic workers is ludicrous!
This is literally NEVER true. Definitionally, the program does not pull from impoverished countries. Middle income at absolute poorest. My au pairs have come from Western Europe. At least one came from a family richer than us (owned a vineyard).
Anonymous
12/06/2020 23:03
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?
Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.
How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?
It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.
Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...
I agree.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:58
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks au pairs want to be treated more like nannies needs to meet more au pairs.
Republicans are against the program (see current Trump ban) because they hate immigrants and dont want immigrants taking jobs from "Americans." They also dont give a flip if women are forced out of the workforce, as they'd prefer all American women to be in the home full time caring for children. "
So you think that the solution to getting American women back into the workforce during Covid is to exploit young women from impoverished countries? We are on a forum filled with some of the highest earners in the US. The assertion that they cannot pay minimum wage to their domestic workers is ludicrous!
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:39
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
There clearly is a disconnect between what host families report as the experience and what au pairs report. That is what the OP was referring to when they talked about people reminiscing about slavery-not that APs are slaves- but that there is a very different perspective between those in power and those serving. People in the post-Antebellum South insisted that their slaves were a very loved part of the family, but the slaves did not perceive it as so. Just as today's testimony shows that many APs are very saddened by their lowly status in their new families. No one is saying that APs were captured, sold into slavery, have no recourse...rather we are saying that it can be very painful to expect to be an exchange student and then be treated as a servant.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:32
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
So wrong. As is a federal judge, the entire MA Senate, but you are right. They love it. It’s a privilege to serve you.
I assure you they’d love it more if the families paid fairly and were committed to the cultural exchange. More than enough such families to replace you if you won’t pay the minimum
I assure you they’d love it more if the families paid fairly and were committed to the cultural exchange. More than enough such families to replace you if you won’t pay the minimum
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:13
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
You are just so wrong. This is not the nature of the relationship for most host families whatsoever. The au pair has a lovely life that is fully funded. They are a full member of the family. The stipend serves as bar money and a travel allowance, as the au pair has zero living expenses. It's entirely unlike a minimum wage nanny who is scraping by and struggling to make ends meet. The premise that au pairs should be treated like a minimum wage nanny and be expected to pay their own way would be a step down.Anonymous wrote:My letter to Santa: a hefty donation to the domestic workers union and anything else in support of the MA bill being enacted as the law of the land. Rewatch the movie Help, host mothers, feel the familiarity. I hope it gives you the creeps it gave me to read what you wrote to defend 4 bucks an hour
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:11
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:My letter to Santa: a hefty donation to the domestic workers union and anything else in support of the MA bill being enacted as the law of the land. Rewatch the movie Help, host mothers, feel the familiarity. I hope it gives you the creeps it gave me to read what you wrote to defend 4 bucks an hour
Me too. Never would have been an issue I knew about. Thank you dcum
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:09
Subject: Re:Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This comes up every single time a family moans about having their fourth college kid flake in one semester. Many, many families need a maximum of 3 hours per day. Their kids are in school, and they do camps when they're not. Now, it's different for some during covid, but thigns have changed for everyone during covid.
Yes. We use about an hour in the morning and two hours in the afternoon, plus early release days, teacher work days and snow days. Occassionally we have a week between camp ending and school starting and use close to 45 hours, but it's one or two weeks a year. No nanny wants this job.
Sadly does not justify keeping a whole cohort at 4/hr
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:05
Subject: Re:Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:This comes up every single time a family moans about having their fourth college kid flake in one semester. Many, many families need a maximum of 3 hours per day. Their kids are in school, and they do camps when they're not. Now, it's different for some during covid, but thigns have changed for everyone during covid.
Yes. We use about an hour in the morning and two hours in the afternoon, plus early release days, teacher work days and snow days. Occassionally we have a week between camp ending and school starting and use close to 45 hours, but it's one or two weeks a year. No nanny wants this job.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:03
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
My letter to Santa: a hefty donation to the domestic workers union and anything else in support of the MA bill being enacted as the law of the land. Rewatch the movie Help, host mothers, feel the familiarity. I hope it gives you the creeps it gave me to read what you wrote to defend 4 bucks an hour
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:01
Subject: Re:Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:This comes up every single time a family moans about having their fourth college kid flake in one semester. Many, many families need a maximum of 3 hours per day. Their kids are in school, and they do camps when they're not. Now, it's different for some during covid, but thigns have changed for everyone during covid.
No worries. Legislation is on the way. You can have 3 hours as long as you commit to the fair comp, MA rules, you match successfully, and you uphold the cultural exchange. Clearly too many of you are of the exploiter persuasion for this to be left well alone. Monday morning, my first call is the DC OAG.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 21:56
Subject: Re:Au Pair just asked for more money
This comes up every single time a family moans about having their fourth college kid flake in one semester. Many, many families need a maximum of 3 hours per day. Their kids are in school, and they do camps when they're not. Now, it's different for some during covid, but thigns have changed for everyone during covid.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 21:52
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Also this makes the person saying their au pair costs them
$30k per year insane. Unless they’re handing out gold bars.
This is only because you don't understand the program and ignore posts by anyone who tries to explain how it works. As I've said previously, posting nonsense prolifically (and then prolifically patting yourself on the back for your nonsense) doesn't make you correct.
Why don’t you explain it? If you’d like to advance an argument, provide some facts instead of repeating yourself and lashing out at other women. Not a good look. Also, maybe explain to the federal judge and a couple senators who reviewed the situation and came to the same conclusions about corrupting of the program.
Live-in nanny here. Maybe you’ll listen to me, since you are ignoring the HP.
$10400 (roughly, rounded to $200 weekly): directly to the AP; $10179 if paying exactly the stipend
$6000-11000: agency fees
$1000: education credits, $500 per semester
$2400-7200: $200-600 food per month for the extra person (BPs are notorious for eating triple what HP expect), but the amount “deducted” is much less
$60-600: $5-50 increase in electricity per month, depending on what the AP does
$60-600: $5-50 increase in water per month, depending on how much water AP uses and what your rate is
$240-$1000 phone for a year
Car insurance rate increase can be several hundred to more than a thousand
Increased gas for the car
Increased maintenance on the car
Extra flight, food, and tickets for vacation
Extra tickets, food and other costs associated with including AP in dinner out, movie night, apple picking, etc.
Most families hit $24000 without trying. Many families go over $30k. I don’t want to count the number of families who switch from nanny to AP thinking they’ll save, then they find they don’t. OTOH, families who get tired of rematching don’t quibble about a nanny’s rate.
None of that is relevant as they decided that they were willing to pay. They don't have to offer a car and insurance but most do to drive the kids around. Same with cell phone. And, you take the AP on vacation for your child care needs, not a vacation for them. I don't think its unreasonable to ask for more with multiple kids for 45 hours a week. They aren't even paying minimum wage. AP is living in their home for their needs.
Many families invite au pairs on vacation because they’re a member of the family, not for them to work on vacation. When we do it, it’s max one night of babysitting. And we’ve also had au pairs bring a friend so she can have a proper trip for herself and make better use of the room we are paying for.
Not all families invite au pairs on vacation but for me it always seemed a little cruel.
They are not family, they are your employee.
They’re an exchange student who babysits. I was an exchange student and I treat my au pairs the way I was treated as one. Including vacation invites.
No, they aren't exchange students. They aren't going to school full time and helping out with babysitting. They are working up to 45 hours a week taking care of your kids. That is an employee masked under a cultural exchange.
Maybe that’s how you use the program. It’s not how I do. And actually I have had au pairs go to school full time.
I wouldn't use the program. There is no way an AuPair can go to school full-time and do 30-40 hours with school work and other stuff. Do you pay for the full time school? What do you consider school?
Many families only use 1-2 hours per day. It's absurdly hard to find someone to fill so few hours, but it's easy to find an AP, because it's easy to have a social life.
Such absolute rubbish
No, it's not.
So, here's a classic situation:
Family has 2 kids, 7 and 9. They're not mature enough to be left at home alone. Parent 1 leaves around 2 hours before they go to school, and returns about an hour after they get home. Parent 2 leaves 45 minutes to an hour before they go to school, then gets home 3 hours after they get home. Parents try getting high school kids, but that falls through. They try college kids, but that falls through. They try sahp in their neighborhood, and that works until there's a field trip, dental appointment, their kid is sick... They try to find a nanny, and have to get two different nannies, because they're trying to cobble together full time hours from part time jobs, and the hours the family needs are the same core hours EVERY family with school age kids needs. Both nannies move on as soon as they find better pay and/or better hours. The only option left is an AP, and the AP is glad to have such short hours.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 21:50
Subject: Au Pair just asked for more money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Also this makes the person saying their au pair costs them
$30k per year insane. Unless they’re handing out gold bars.
This is only because you don't understand the program and ignore posts by anyone who tries to explain how it works. As I've said previously, posting nonsense prolifically (and then prolifically patting yourself on the back for your nonsense) doesn't make you correct.
Why don’t you explain it? If you’d like to advance an argument, provide some facts instead of repeating yourself and lashing out at other women. Not a good look. Also, maybe explain to the federal judge and a couple senators who reviewed the situation and came to the same conclusions about corrupting of the program.
Live-in nanny here. Maybe you’ll listen to me, since you are ignoring the HP.
$10400 (roughly, rounded to $200 weekly): directly to the AP; $10179 if paying exactly the stipend
$6000-11000: agency fees
$1000: education credits, $500 per semester
$2400-7200: $200-600 food per month for the extra person (BPs are notorious for eating triple what HP expect), but the amount “deducted” is much less
$60-600: $5-50 increase in electricity per month, depending on what the AP does
$60-600: $5-50 increase in water per month, depending on how much water AP uses and what your rate is
$240-$1000 phone for a year
Car insurance rate increase can be several hundred to more than a thousand
Increased gas for the car
Increased maintenance on the car
Extra flight, food, and tickets for vacation
Extra tickets, food and other costs associated with including AP in dinner out, movie night, apple picking, etc.
Most families hit $24000 without trying. Many families go over $30k. I don’t want to count the number of families who switch from nanny to AP thinking they’ll save, then they find they don’t. OTOH, families who get tired of rematching don’t quibble about a nanny’s rate.
None of that is relevant as they decided that they were willing to pay. They don't have to offer a car and insurance but most do to drive the kids around. Same with cell phone. And, you take the AP on vacation for your child care needs, not a vacation for them. I don't think its unreasonable to ask for more with multiple kids for 45 hours a week. They aren't even paying minimum wage. AP is living in their home for their needs.
Many families invite au pairs on vacation because they’re a member of the family, not for them to work on vacation. When we do it, it’s max one night of babysitting. And we’ve also had au pairs bring a friend so she can have a proper trip for herself and make better use of the room we are paying for.
Not all families invite au pairs on vacation but for me it always seemed a little cruel.
They are not family, they are your employee.
They’re an exchange student who babysits. I was an exchange student and I treat my au pairs the way I was treated as one. Including vacation invites.
No, they aren't exchange students. They aren't going to school full time and helping out with babysitting. They are working up to 45 hours a week taking care of your kids. That is an employee masked under a cultural exchange.
Maybe that’s how you use the program. It’s not how I do. And actually I have had au pairs go to school full time.
I wouldn't use the program. There is no way an AuPair can go to school full-time and do 30-40 hours with school work and other stuff. Do you pay for the full time school? What do you consider school?
Out au pairs work a always work split schedule, way less than 40 hours a week. (Even in the pandemic.) That left time for full time school for the one au pair who wanted to do that. We paid for the program, which was a professional certification program that the au pair wanted to pursue. She used it to springboard into a more advanced postgrad professional program back home.
We have invited very au pair to go a similar route and have a meaningful education experience. Some have taken advantage, some have not really had an interest.