If he was already getting what he wanted out of the relationship (sex) PRIOR to buying this ho a car and paying her rent, why would any fool pay $2400 to keep this trash in her own place? I would tell her her welcome to the real world honey, get a job like the rest of the world. $2400 a month is more than my freakin mortgage. I know right down to the dollar amount how much my husband makes too so his wife is probably turning a blind eye. This guy could and very likely does also pay high priced escorts in addition to the ho on the side.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, would you counsel a younger women to do what you are doing? I know you said you do not want kids so not a daughter, but any of the kids whom you tutor?

No, because I think most people are dating with the goal of marriage/kids and this won't lead there. I'm fine with that but know most wouldn't be.

What if they were not either?

I wasn't looking to get married and have kids when I was 24. Heck no. I was out dating lots of single/available men, working, hanging with friends, establishing my own life.

You don't have to be either desperate to get married OR a kept woman. There is a lot in between.

Seriously. Me too. I wasn't looking to get married. I was just finding myself, getting a career going, enjoying sharing an apt. with other girls who were in the same boat, meeting new people.

I think that being a "kept woman" is stunting and preventing OP from doing all of the above. The longer she stays in the relationship, the more stuck and stunted she will be, as others around her grow and mature.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster.
I have met several kept women in my life. Detached is a very good word to describe them- detached from their own self I would say. Their level of introspection is very low. They just don't get all those "fine matters" such as feelings, emotions, etc- and are not really interested in them. They are very straightforward in their thinking about things. Family is normal if there are no big fights and everyone gets together for holidays. Their life is fine as long as there is enough money, they are healthy, and good looking.
They are fascinating to me, who is very introspective and introverted in the Jungian sense. Seems like they don't complicate things.

Well, it's pretty clear that her family life is not too deep. It's hard to imagine my parents not asking for any details about how I am supporting myself, or at a bare minimum, if I have a job! Very odd.

+1 I picked up on this too in her earlier post.

+2 I think, in her family of origin, it sounds like all of their relationships were sort of shallow and on-the-surface. No one relates to what is really going on in their lives. They only talk about stuff on the surface. "Is there enough $? Are you still alive?" That's about it. . .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster.
I have met several kept women in my life. Detached is a very good word to describe them- detached from their own self I would say. Their level of introspection is very low. They just don't get all those "fine matters" such as feelings, emotions, etc- and are not really interested in them. They are very straightforward in their thinking about things. Family is normal if there are no big fights and everyone gets together for holidays. Their life is fine as long as there is enough money, they are healthy, and good looking.
They are fascinating to me, who is very introspective and introverted in the Jungian sense. Seems like they don't complicate things.

Well, it's pretty clear that her family life is not too deep. It's hard to imagine my parents not asking for any details about how I am supporting myself, or at a bare minimum, if I have a job! Very odd.

+1 I picked up on this too in her earlier post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, would you counsel a younger women to do what you are doing? I know you said you do not want kids so not a daughter, but any of the kids whom you tutor?

No, because I think most people are dating with the goal of marriage/kids and this won't lead there. I'm fine with that but know most wouldn't be.

What if they were not either?

I wasn't looking to get married and have kids when I was 24. Heck no. I was out dating lots of single/available men, working, hanging with friends, establishing my own life.

You don't have to be either desperate to get married OR a kept woman. There is a lot in between.

OP, I do think you are detached from your own feelings, probably b/c of something when you were younger. I once was that way b/c I had been dumped by a guy who I really thought was "the one" and I was like, "Well, two can play at this game," and proceeded to have a few years where I numbed myself and had a bunch of crazy relationships and did crazy things. When I came out of it I learned it was ok for me to have an opinion too, even if others don't have the same wants or desires, and it was ok to look for what *I* wanted, not just to be available, numbed, for someone else to fulfill their desires upon me. IE be a subject -- not just an object. I hope that somehow you can get to this place, whether you do it by starting to meditate, pray, go to therapy, pursue other interests YOU like, find friends who support YOU for real, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, would you counsel a younger women to do what you are doing? I know you said you do not want kids so not a daughter, but any of the kids whom you tutor?

No, because I think most people are dating with the goal of marriage/kids and this won't lead there. I'm fine with that but know most wouldn't be.

What if they were not either?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, this is still going on? Looks like OP found DCUM's raw nerve...

More like every married women's darkest fear or source of paranoia.

No not a deep, dark fear. Few men would finance an incredibly foolish, elaborate and complicated setup like this one even if they could afford to do so. If this is for real, there is a whole lot more going on here than meets the eye...

Anonymous wrote:OP, would you counsel a younger women to do what you are doing? I know you said you do not want kids so not a daughter, but any of the kids whom you tutor?

No, because I think most people are dating with the goal of marriage/kids and this won't lead there. I'm fine with that but know most wouldn't be.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I had affairs with married men without even getting dinner dates, much less a car or apartment, out of it. How did you broach the subject of wanting him to support you, or did he offer?

I was looking for a new apartment because my lease was going to be up and didn't want to stay where I was. I was late for a dinner because of it so we talked about it. That time I moved and it was with two girlfriends and he just gave me a Visa giftcard as a housewarming gift. Then when I graduated he got me the apartment I'm in now as a graduation gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will you do if you get pregnant? If you get an STD?

I'd abort. I'd get the STD treated.
I know you all think since he'll cheat on his wife with me, he'll cheat on me. You're entitled to your opinion. But I know him and I don't think he's "cheating" on me, and I'm entitled to my opinion too.

According to you, this sex maniac man willingly got engaged and married to a low sex drive wife. Not that long ago, either. You don't see anything at all funny about that?

Can you imagine yourself *marrying* a man who did not need or want sex?

For all you know this guy could be bisexual and he has a male paramour on the side with a similar arrangement to your own. Bottom line is - you don't really know this man at all.

NP here who was once in a nearly identical situation as OP. For five years he told me he loved me and that I was the only one he was sleeping with. It turned out that not only was he still occasionally seeing the girlfriend I had "replaced," he was also seeing dommes and tranny prostitutes every chance he got. If someone can hide ten years of intense affairs (think nearly constant contact, multiple visits per week, hundreds of nights away from home) and hundreds of thousands of dollars from their spouse, you better believe that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Yep. That's about the size of it. Will Op listen? Nah, I doubt it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. And this thread started at noon today, and she's still been Johnny-on-the-spot, answering questions (as she chooses), for 12 HOURS.

On DCUM, that would hardly make her suspicious or unique.

I was pretty sick yesterday. I walked the dog in the morning, then was home all day resting until I went out around 6 to walk the dog again and then run some errands and was home around 9.

OP, would you counsel a younger women to do what you are doing? I know you said you do not want kids so not a daughter, but any of the kids whom you tutor?

Anonymous wrote:I think you have to ask yourself what a 24 year old with no kids, no interest in kids, and no job involving kids is doing on a parenting site.

One of my weekly volunteer gigs involves kids.

Anonymous wrote:I wish my husband was rich enough to keep a "kept woman" on the side. Then maybe he wouldn't pester me 2 to 3 times a f'n day for sex.

Ha! I was thinking, man $2800 for an apartment is more than our mortgage. Thank god my husband isn't rich enough for a mistress