Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

Dave blew up his own marriage.

Anonymous wrote:If my dad had done this for me, I would have called him a hero. Take the AH down! Picking on a minor for her appearance on FB is a lot worse than pointing out the immoral behavior of another adult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Your DH was obviously more wrong. Why would he write that publicly?

Dave is an ass for his comment. You should have deleted and just thought of him as a dick.

Not to be mean but if the daughter is overweight and people post, most people often would think similarly. That’s why most people don’t post pics of chubby kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clearer, our responsibilities to those families with horrible relatives are to not attack them or hold them responsible for the actions of their relative. But we are not responsible for the feelings they have when they see/are made aware of the behavior of the terrible relative.

That’s on the terrible person.

So if your husband cheated on you, you would be fine finding out via Facebook at the same time as your friends?

You are missing the point.

Nobody is fine finding out in front of people, on FB, in private, in the future.

It’s never good.

That’s Dave’s fault.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clearer, our responsibilities to those families with horrible relatives are to not attack them or hold them responsible for the actions of their relative. But we are not responsible for the feelings they have when they see/are made aware of the behavior of the terrible relative.

That’s on the terrible person.

So if your husband cheated on you, you would be fine finding out via Facebook at the same time as your friends?

Anonymous wrote:To be clearer, our responsibilities to those families with horrible relatives are to not attack them or hold them responsible for the actions of their relative. But we are not responsible for the feelings they have when they see/are made aware of the behavior of the terrible relative.

That’s on the terrible person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both were wrong. Your DH was WAY more wrong.

Agree with this. One guy called another guy’s daughter fat, not to her. One guy blew up the other guy’s marriage.

Call my daughter fat on Facebook and you should expect a debilitating disproportionate response. Also, if you don’t cheat, you can’t be called out for cheating.

Well is she fat?

Doesn't matter if she is I will blow you up, if she is not I will blow you up.

You are not my friend and I don't care about you or your family at this point.

If you don't care about your family and you make destructive decisions that terribly affect them why would you hold me to a higher standard.

Bye Felicia.

I have so many questions for people like you. I really wonder how you manage to act in social, professional, and emotional situations. I mean, I guess I know, I'm just so glad I'm not surrounded by people like you. Better go get a fresh Mama Bear sticker for your minivan, you wouldn't want the old one to fade.

I'm not the PP, and I'm someone who is VERY measured in all the situations you describe. At work I actually am like, the person people call to deal with difficult people because I have a seemingly never ending well of self control and patience. It is my specialty, taming other emotionally volatile people.

But I have to say if someone called my daughter fat on the internet I too believe I would have a debilitating disproportionate response, regardless of her weight. Girls these days (of every size) need NO help worrying about their bodies. And this type of comment from someone you know can ring in your ears for the rest of your life. I would absolutely lose my sh*t.

Kids deserve parents who will go to the mattresses for them, no one ever fought for me growing up (guess how I got to be so good at dealing with emotionally volatile people?), I'm not going to let my kids down.

How does making the comment more memorable by making a big deal help the kid? OP's parent let their own kid down.

I don't know what to tell you. There are clearly two types of people here. The people for whom such an insult to their kid would cause them to see red and lash out before they could even think properly about it and the people who act like those people are crazy.

I would rather be the former. To an extent of course. Here we have a relationship that has clearly had drama in the past and a dad defending his daughter. I would rather see my parent fight for me than try to sweep it under the rug. To each their own.

And you can't think of a single way to do that other than how it was done? Really?

Of course I can! But people aren't perfect. Especially when taunted like this. I just don't know what you all want people to say? Like no in fact Dave's family would not be at the forefront of my mind after he did something super jerky to me. It doesn't mean I have no empathy for them or whatever but like what responsibility do any of us have to the families of terrible people? I feel awful for the relatives of school shooters but don't think we're not allowed to talk about it because it hurts their feelings. That is of course a MUCH more extreme example but is that what you're saying? That Dave is entitled to go around treating people like garbage and keeping all his secrets secret because he has a family? Everyone has a family!

Again the question is 'who is most out of bounds'. My answer: Dave.

Don't ever call yourself empathetic again.

People use empathy to imprison others. I’m very empathetic and struggle standing up for myself because I don’t like making other people feel bad. But that’s unhealthy for me, I’m actively trying to be a little less like that for my own mental health. I think this is insidious thinking that is bad for young girls especially to hear.