Anonymous wrote:Such a bummer trying to watch a relaxing lighthearted show and then getting triggered because Z is exactly like my mom. Imagine growing up when everything you say is purposefully twisted because the other person is so damaged and insecure. I am sorry for what she went through but I hope she never has kids.

Maybe you could quit projecting?

Such a bummer trying to watch a relaxing lighthearted show and then getting triggered because Z is exactly like my mom. Imagine growing up when everything you say is purposefully twisted because the other person is so damaged and insecure. I am sorry for what she went through but I hope she never has kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

He’s definitely surprised by her not eating more that day. But he doesn’t sound concerned to me. Instead he immediately jumps to the old “trying to fit into your wedding dress” crap. You can practically hear the internal eye roll when she says “something like that.” Because the “something like that” leaves out “for YOU!” She’s doing it because she’s not his type and she’s a 9 and all those comments. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t make those connections. I get that. Doesn’t make her a liar.

And to be clear, I’m not defending the way she talks to him. The nagging and negativity is absolutely an issue. She’s the other half of what went wrong. But her bad behavior does not excuse his, and vice versa.

Well said. He absolutely did say what she said he did (no lies), but the context made it clear she interpreted in the worst possible way.

I was never a Cole fan. I found him super immature, annoying, and emotionally tone deaf. That being said, I felt really bad for him after watching that reunion episode. I don't think he is as bad as Zanab is making him out to be. I think Zanab is way too sensitive and you never know when something is going to rub her the wrong way. That cuties scene is completely innocuous. No one is shaming anyone for eating baby mandarins for crying out loud.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

He’s definitely surprised by her not eating more that day. But he doesn’t sound concerned to me. Instead he immediately jumps to the old “trying to fit into your wedding dress” crap. You can practically hear the internal eye roll when she says “something like that.” Because the “something like that” leaves out “for YOU!” She’s doing it because she’s not his type and she’s a 9 and all those comments. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t make those connections. I get that. Doesn’t make her a liar.

And to be clear, I’m not defending the way she talks to him. The nagging and negativity is absolutely an issue. She’s the other half of what went wrong. But her bad behavior does not excuse his, and vice versa.

NO he does not. He says, and I'm going to quote it based on the captions, because the distortion here is shocking to me that you guys are leaving out critical parts of the exchange:

Zanab: I've only had a banana and a scoop of peanut butter today

<Cole is goofing around making hand gestures illustrating the size of the big dinner they are planning to go to, then he stops and pauses after her comment sinks in and immediately drops the fun>

Cole: You only had a banana today??? <I add the question marks because he seems genuinely concerned to me

Zaneb: mmm-hmm

Cole: Why?

Zaneb: Of I could tell you but I probably shouldn't

Cole: I offered you a poke bowl

Zanab: I know you did, but we had that last night.

<Cole taking a sip of coffee, swallows quickly as if he suddenly gets it>

Cole: OH are you getting a wedding dress...

Zaneb: Something like that

Cole: ....wedding dress bod? (being obviously kind of silly)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

I don't think Cole did anything wrong related to food, but at that point Zanab had her narrative of who Cole was and took everything either in the worst way possible, or the wrong way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

He’s definitely surprised by her not eating more that day. But he doesn’t sound concerned to me. Instead he immediately jumps to the old “trying to fit into your wedding dress” crap. You can practically hear the internal eye roll when she says “something like that.” Because the “something like that” leaves out “for YOU!” She’s doing it because she’s not his type and she’s a 9 and all those comments. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t make those connections. I get that. Doesn’t make her a liar.

And to be clear, I’m not defending the way she talks to him. The nagging and negativity is absolutely an issue. She’s the other half of what went wrong. But her bad behavior does not excuse his, and vice versa.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^The guys could easily have said, oh no that didn't happen/ Telling that they didn't.

I don't think they would have known either way. Sounds like everyone was drunk then jumped in Ubers.

The person who would "know" is this supposed girl....Cole is B list famous now so if she is looking for her 15 minutes, she could corroborate Zay's story- IF she exists.

I love how you're so quick to believe Cole, as if he didn't hit on "hot" Colleen hard after he was ENGAGED.

1) No one on here has defended the pool scene from a straight up right or wrong on its merits. It was a bad thing to do, full stop.

2) This is not a traditional dating environment. It must be weird AF to seriously date multiple people at once. He chooses Zay but then meets Colleen, the situation is LITERALLY DESIGNED to create these moments by allowing these people to meet, with a lot of alcohol, right after such an intense shared experience. Which isn't saying what he did was right, it wasn't, but I also think that this happens every season to one couple or another because of the nature of the show.

3) He never lied about it. So I don't know why that incident would make me doubt his overall truthfulness.

4) None of these people are REALLY engaged. It is a manufactured experiment. Some of them are emotionally engaged like Brennon and Alexa who never once drift from each other. But acting like they are truly engaged and not in fact people who met a couple weeks ago and have literally only seen each other in person for 48 hours is just silly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^The guys could easily have said, oh no that didn't happen/ Telling that they didn't.

I don't think they would have known either way. Sounds like everyone was drunk then jumped in Ubers.

The person who would "know" is this supposed girl....Cole is B list famous now so if she is looking for her 15 minutes, she could corroborate Zay's story- IF she exists.

I love how you're so quick to believe Cole, as if he didn't hit on "hot" Colleen hard after he was ENGAGED.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

Abusive, what? No, she had come to hear anything related to food or bodies through the "you, curvy middle eastern girl, are not hot like the skinny white ballerina" lens. I think there were a mix of real and imagined microaggressions, and she probably does need therapy. Meanwhile, Cole needs to grow the eff up, stop rating women and be more sensitive to his partner's insecurities. Because guess what, everyone has them! They obviously were a toxic brew who needed to get far away from each other.

Anonymous wrote:I'm left wondering what would have happened if Cole and Colleen got engaged, and Bartise and Raven.

And Nancy and....??

Any thoughts? Would they have worked out better?

Bartise is a fck boy. He'll never have a successful marriage with anyone. Neither will Cole because he is completely unaware. Colleen will be divorced in a year.

Anonymous wrote:https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/

I think this is a very honest take on the cuties scene. I stand by my opinion that Cole is an immature ass. He didn’t realize the impact his words had. Not just in individual moments, but cumulatively. When you take all the comments together (you’re a 9 to Colleen’s 10, you’re not my usual type, you’re going to eat 2?, etc.) and you say them to someone with insecurity issues, you’re inflicting real damage. I don’t think it was intentional, but he needs to learn how to filter.

I read this article honestly with an open mind as I went into yesterday's episodes with this essential interpretation of Zanab and have left those episodes convinced she is abusive.

You know what this article leaves out VERY conveniently? The same thing Zanab leaves out. The fact that when alerted to the fact that she had only eaten a banana that day he becomes audibly and visibly concerned, asks why she didn't eat food offered earlier and reiterates his question of why when brushed off.

THAT moment is the crux of intent in the scene. If he was trying to get at her, he would not have reacted that way.

Anonymous wrote:I'm left wondering what would have happened if Cole and Colleen got engaged, and Bartise and Raven.

And Nancy and....??

Any thoughts? Would they have worked out better?

Raven never would have gone for Bartise, period.

I'm left wondering what would have happened if Cole and Colleen got engaged, and Bartise and Raven.

And Nancy and....??

Any thoughts? Would they have worked out better?

Anonymous wrote:I think Cole and Z are a terrible couple. He is way too immature but, I think, she is seriously damaged.

IMO, The "cuties" clip made her look horrible.

I don't think she's "seriously" damaged. Each of her parents died - her ground fell out from under her while she was still developing into an adult. As a result she tries to control as much as possible and is very Type A. Cole is much more carefree and yes, a bit on the immature side - in five years he's going to be a great guy. They were a terrible match.