Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

But what if they genuinely want to be able to take yoga at 10 am instead of going to what they consider a tedious, demanding job?

That's the thing. Not everyone wants the same thing. I don't want to work. I know that sounds bad but it's the truth. I consider myself lucky that I don't have to.

have you asked your husband if he would like to go to yoga at 10 am?

He’s semi retired so he could if he wanted to. He’s playing golf tomorrow.

Listen, everyone’s experience is different. I come from the tech world where everyone is about FIRE. Many people keep working after that but it’s different when you know you have the money to say eff it at any time.

What I’ve learned is that when people come into money, they usually quit their demanding jobs. If they stay in the same field, it’s as investors, or they work on passion projects, or do hey consult. But most people give up the daily grind.

So you really don't belong in this discussion. Neither you nor your husband are working full time and trying to raise a family. Why don't you butt out?

Why should I butt out? I’m a SAHM too.

DP.
I don’t know. These threads always seem to assume that:
1). No women want to quit their jobs unless they are lazy, lack ambition, and have no self-respect
2). All men DO want to quit their jobs, no matter how ambitious they are, how much they love their job, or how much of their identity is tied up in their job title
3). Men need to be protected from these lazy women who are making them work.
4). If part of the reason a woman isn’t working is because she is taking care of everything at home, then that is her own fault. She should have married better.
5). Even if she married a “bad man” who isn’t contributing to household chores and childcare, this man still needs to be protected against this evil, lazy woman who is keeping him from retirement.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM and I spend my days doing crossword puzzles and binge watching old YouTube clips of my favorite comedians.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think that most people who do freelance work or work less than about 20-30 hours a week still refer to themselves as SAHMs in these threads.

I have seen people refer to themselves as SAHMs even though they:
- work at their kids elementary schools every day that the school is open
- own and manage multiple rental properties
- do freelance, hourly, or consulting work
- do part time shift work (doctors and nurses)
- do the books and some of the management for their husband's small business

This is me — I make about 35k a year doing freelance consulting work but refer to myself as a SAHM on here. I also basically feel like a SAHM in life. I do not have the same juggle with job/commute/childcare that WOHMs deal with. I can always scale back work to accommodate parenting. Today I’m lying around the house cleaning and relaxing while my kid is at school because I’m between projects with work.

I don’t think WOHMs want me as “one of them.” Especially on these boards, there’s a ton of martyrdom that goes along with it, like look at me, I do EVERYTHING a SAHM does PLUS I work, SAHMs are lazy, etc.

I just want to enjoy my life, make enough money that we can live fairly comfortably, get to spend time with my kid, and not stress too much. I learned a long time ago that my career is not that fulfilling, and motherhood offered me something more rewarding. So I seized that and just kind of finagled a solution on the work side. If we were independently wealthy, or my DH made a ton of money (he doesn’t, he makes around 100k which is less than I used to), I would not work at all, I’d write a novel or take up painting or volunteer at a museum.

Life is short and precious and I don’t want to spend it doing boring corporate work if I can avoid it, which it turns out I mostly can.

Ha! I feel you.

I like do like my job and work 1-2 evenings a week. I started homeschooling my kids when the pandemic started and have continued because we have all been so happy with it. I pretty much function as a homeschooling SAHM in my day to day life. I don’t think the WOHMs want me as “one of them” either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

I'd much rather spend my days cleaning and grocery shopping and then I have my nights and weekend free to spend with my family or do what I want. I feel bad for you that you don't know how to relax and enjoy your family.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM and I spend my days doing crossword puzzles and binge watching old YouTube clips of my favorite comedians.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

But what if they genuinely want to be able to take yoga at 10 am instead of going to what they consider a tedious, demanding job?

That's the thing. Not everyone wants the same thing. I don't want to work. I know that sounds bad but it's the truth. I consider myself lucky that I don't have to.

have you asked your husband if he would like to go to yoga at 10 am?

He’s semi retired so he could if he wanted to. He’s playing golf tomorrow.

Listen, everyone’s experience is different. I come from the tech world where everyone is about FIRE. Many people keep working after that but it’s different when you know you have the money to say eff it at any time.

What I’ve learned is that when people come into money, they usually quit their demanding jobs. If they stay in the same field, it’s as investors, or they work on passion projects, or do hey consult. But most people give up the daily grind.

So you really don't belong in this discussion. Neither you nor your husband are working full time and trying to raise a family. Why don't you butt out?

Why should I butt out? I’m a SAHM too.

DP.
I don’t know. These threads always seem to assume that:
1). No women want to quit their jobs unless they are lazy, lack ambition, and have no self-respect
2). All men DO want to quit their jobs, no matter how ambitious they are, how much they love their job, or how much of their identity is tied up in their job title
3). Men need to be protected from these lazy women who are making them work.
4). If part of the reason a woman isn’t working is because she is taking care of everything at home, then that is her own fault. She should have married better.
5). Even if she married a “bad man” who isn’t contributing to household chores and childcare, this man still needs to be protected against this evil, lazy woman who is keeping him from retirement.

New poster. You nailed the way these threads tend to go. You're exactly right. There's a powerful, ugly recurring theme on all these forums where SAH women are painted as lazy vampires sucking up men's life force and money, and no task any SAH woman does is really a contribution of any substantial kind.

+1

It’s called sexism and it’s alive and well on DCUM and in life. Depressing.

I wonder sometimes if it stems from a sexual attraction to someone in their friend circle married to a SAHM. Divorce almost always gets brought up very early.

I think it’s more how every woman who is a SAHM on here has a perfect marriage and is a former biglaw associate/partner. And spends her days doing yoga and shopping. Meanwhile, actual statistics about parents that don’t work out of the home suggest that this person quite possibly doesn’t exist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should he work if you won’t?

OP here - my view is, why should I do everything I do now plus a job? I would be insane to agree to that. He’s not going to magically do half.

Well, you shouldn't, so he'll need to step up, but you also likely have to realize that some things you do he may not consider valuable like baking fresh bread every day.


OP, my mother was a SAHM and I honestly don't think I benefited from it greatly. She like you wanted to stay home and do all the things you list. Great ! Live your dream, except her dreams came with the cost of her kids having to take out loans to go to college.

Your kids don't need freshly baked bread every day. They would hugely benefit from not having to take out loans to go to school and your income could help build a nice little nest egg so college could be covered for them.

I agree. My mom was SAHM and I never liked that. It was five of us, we literally were poor. I wanted my mom to work and hustle for us.

It probably didn't pay for her to work given child care costs for 5 kids or that would have meant the oldest would have to parent the youngest.

Paying for college doesn't have much to do with SAH. Its partly how you choose to spend your money. If they were low income, it was better for her not to work so you could get financial aid. I know rich families who will not pay for college and I know modest income families who save everything, live in small homes, etc to be able to pay or college. It was our priority regardless of if I worked or SAH and when our kids were born we bought prepaid plans and then saved in 529's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

But what if they genuinely want to be able to take yoga at 10 am instead of going to what they consider a tedious, demanding job?

That's the thing. Not everyone wants the same thing. I don't want to work. I know that sounds bad but it's the truth. I consider myself lucky that I don't have to.

have you asked your husband if he would like to go to yoga at 10 am?

He’s semi retired so he could if he wanted to. He’s playing golf tomorrow.

Listen, everyone’s experience is different. I come from the tech world where everyone is about FIRE. Many people keep working after that but it’s different when you know you have the money to say eff it at any time.

What I’ve learned is that when people come into money, they usually quit their demanding jobs. If they stay in the same field, it’s as investors, or they work on passion projects, or do hey consult. But most people give up the daily grind.

So you really don't belong in this discussion. Neither you nor your husband are working full time and trying to raise a family. Why don't you butt out?

Why should I butt out? I’m a SAHM too.

DP.
I don’t know. These threads always seem to assume that:
1). No women want to quit their jobs unless they are lazy, lack ambition, and have no self-respect
2). All men DO want to quit their jobs, no matter how ambitious they are, how much they love their job, or how much of their identity is tied up in their job title
3). Men need to be protected from these lazy women who are making them work.
4). If part of the reason a woman isn’t working is because she is taking care of everything at home, then that is her own fault. She should have married better.
5). Even if she married a “bad man” who isn’t contributing to household chores and childcare, this man still needs to be protected against this evil, lazy woman who is keeping him from retirement.

New poster. You nailed the way these threads tend to go. You're exactly right. There's a powerful, ugly recurring theme on all these forums where SAH women are painted as lazy vampires sucking up men's life force and money, and no task any SAH woman does is really a contribution of any substantial kind.

+1

It’s called sexism and it’s alive and well on DCUM and in life. Depressing.

I wonder sometimes if it stems from a sexual attraction to someone in their friend circle married to a SAHM. Divorce almost always gets brought up very early.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

But what if they genuinely want to be able to take yoga at 10 am instead of going to what they consider a tedious, demanding job?

That's the thing. Not everyone wants the same thing. I don't want to work. I know that sounds bad but it's the truth. I consider myself lucky that I don't have to.

have you asked your husband if he would like to go to yoga at 10 am?

He’s semi retired so he could if he wanted to. He’s playing golf tomorrow.

Listen, everyone’s experience is different. I come from the tech world where everyone is about FIRE. Many people keep working after that but it’s different when you know you have the money to say eff it at any time.

What I’ve learned is that when people come into money, they usually quit their demanding jobs. If they stay in the same field, it’s as investors, or they work on passion projects, or do hey consult. But most people give up the daily grind.

So you really don't belong in this discussion. Neither you nor your husband are working full time and trying to raise a family. Why don't you butt out?

Why should I butt out? I’m a SAHM too.

DP.
I don’t know. These threads always seem to assume that:
1). No women want to quit their jobs unless they are lazy, lack ambition, and have no self-respect
2). All men DO want to quit their jobs, no matter how ambitious they are, how much they love their job, or how much of their identity is tied up in their job title
3). Men need to be protected from these lazy women who are making them work.
4). If part of the reason a woman isn’t working is because she is taking care of everything at home, then that is her own fault. She should have married better.
5). Even if she married a “bad man” who isn’t contributing to household chores and childcare, this man still needs to be protected against this evil, lazy woman who is keeping him from retirement.

New poster. You nailed the way these threads tend to go. You're exactly right. There's a powerful, ugly recurring theme on all these forums where SAH women are painted as lazy vampires sucking up men's life force and money, and no task any SAH woman does is really a contribution of any substantial kind.

+1

It’s called sexism and it’s alive and well on DCUM and in life. Depressing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

But what if they genuinely want to be able to take yoga at 10 am instead of going to what they consider a tedious, demanding job?

That's the thing. Not everyone wants the same thing. I don't want to work. I know that sounds bad but it's the truth. I consider myself lucky that I don't have to.

have you asked your husband if he would like to go to yoga at 10 am?

He’s semi retired so he could if he wanted to. He’s playing golf tomorrow.

Listen, everyone’s experience is different. I come from the tech world where everyone is about FIRE. Many people keep working after that but it’s different when you know you have the money to say eff it at any time.

What I’ve learned is that when people come into money, they usually quit their demanding jobs. If they stay in the same field, it’s as investors, or they work on passion projects, or do hey consult. But most people give up the daily grind.

So you really don't belong in this discussion. Neither you nor your husband are working full time and trying to raise a family. Why don't you butt out?

Why should I butt out? I’m a SAHM too.

DP.
I don’t know. These threads always seem to assume that:
1). No women want to quit their jobs unless they are lazy, lack ambition, and have no self-respect
2). All men DO want to quit their jobs, no matter how ambitious they are, how much they love their job, or how much of their identity is tied up in their job title
3). Men need to be protected from these lazy women who are making them work.
4). If part of the reason a woman isn’t working is because she is taking care of everything at home, then that is her own fault. She should have married better.
5). Even if she married a “bad man” who isn’t contributing to household chores and childcare, this man still needs to be protected against this evil, lazy woman who is keeping him from retirement.

New poster. You nailed the way these threads tend to go. You're exactly right. There's a powerful, ugly recurring theme on all these forums where SAH women are painted as lazy vampires sucking up men's life force and money, and no task any SAH woman does is really a contribution of any substantial kind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

But what if they genuinely want to be able to take yoga at 10 am instead of going to what they consider a tedious, demanding job?

That's the thing. Not everyone wants the same thing. I don't want to work. I know that sounds bad but it's the truth. I consider myself lucky that I don't have to.

have you asked your husband if he would like to go to yoga at 10 am?

He’s semi retired so he could if he wanted to. He’s playing golf tomorrow.

Listen, everyone’s experience is different. I come from the tech world where everyone is about FIRE. Many people keep working after that but it’s different when you know you have the money to say eff it at any time.

What I’ve learned is that when people come into money, they usually quit their demanding jobs. If they stay in the same field, it’s as investors, or they work on passion projects, or do hey consult. But most people give up the daily grind.

So you really don't belong in this discussion. Neither you nor your husband are working full time and trying to raise a family. Why don't you butt out?

Why should I butt out? I’m a SAHM too.

DP.
I don’t know. These threads always seem to assume that:
1). No women want to quit their jobs unless they are lazy, lack ambition, and have no self-respect
2). All men DO want to quit their jobs, no matter how ambitious they are, how much they love their job, or how much of their identity is tied up in their job title
3). Men need to be protected from these lazy women who are making them work.
4). If part of the reason a woman isn’t working is because she is taking care of everything at home, then that is her own fault. She should have married better.
5). Even if she married a “bad man” who isn’t contributing to household chores and childcare, this man still needs to be protected against this evil, lazy woman who is keeping him from retirement.

New poster. You nailed the way these threads tend to go. You're exactly right. There's a powerful, ugly recurring theme on all these forums where SAH women are painted as lazy vampires sucking up men's life force and money, and no task any SAH woman does is really a contribution of any substantial kind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

But what if they genuinely want to be able to take yoga at 10 am instead of going to what they consider a tedious, demanding job?

That's the thing. Not everyone wants the same thing. I don't want to work. I know that sounds bad but it's the truth. I consider myself lucky that I don't have to.

have you asked your husband if he would like to go to yoga at 10 am?

He’s semi retired so he could if he wanted to. He’s playing golf tomorrow.

Listen, everyone’s experience is different. I come from the tech world where everyone is about FIRE. Many people keep working after that but it’s different when you know you have the money to say eff it at any time.

What I’ve learned is that when people come into money, they usually quit their demanding jobs. If they stay in the same field, it’s as investors, or they work on passion projects, or do hey consult. But most people give up the daily grind.

So you really don't belong in this discussion. Neither you nor your husband are working full time and trying to raise a family. Why don't you butt out?

Why should I butt out? I’m a SAHM too.

DP.
I don’t know. These threads always seem to assume that:
1). No women want to quit their jobs unless they are lazy, lack ambition, and have no self-respect
2). All men DO want to quit their jobs, no matter how ambitious they are, how much they love their job, or how much of their identity is tied up in their job title
3). Men need to be protected from these lazy women who are making them work.
4). If part of the reason a woman isn’t working is because she is taking care of everything at home, then that is her own fault. She should have married better.
5). Even if she married a “bad man” who isn’t contributing to household chores and childcare, this man still needs to be protected against this evil, lazy woman who is keeping him from retirement.

New poster. You nailed the way these threads tend to go. You're exactly right. There's a powerful, ugly recurring theme on all these forums where SAH women are painted as lazy vampires sucking up men's life force and money, and no task any SAH woman does is really a contribution of any substantial kind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

But what if they genuinely want to be able to take yoga at 10 am instead of going to what they consider a tedious, demanding job?

That's the thing. Not everyone wants the same thing. I don't want to work. I know that sounds bad but it's the truth. I consider myself lucky that I don't have to.

have you asked your husband if he would like to go to yoga at 10 am?

He’s semi retired so he could if he wanted to. He’s playing golf tomorrow.

Listen, everyone’s experience is different. I come from the tech world where everyone is about FIRE. Many people keep working after that but it’s different when you know you have the money to say eff it at any time.

What I’ve learned is that when people come into money, they usually quit their demanding jobs. If they stay in the same field, it’s as investors, or they work on passion projects, or do hey consult. But most people give up the daily grind.

So you really don't belong in this discussion. Neither you nor your husband are working full time and trying to raise a family. Why don't you butt out?

Why should I butt out? I’m a SAHM too.

DP.
I don’t know. These threads always seem to assume that:
1). No women want to quit their jobs unless they are lazy, lack ambition, and have no self-respect
2). All men DO want to quit their jobs, no matter how ambitious they are, how much they love their job, or how much of their identity is tied up in their job title
3). Men need to be protected from these lazy women who are making them work.
4). If part of the reason a woman isn’t working is because she is taking care of everything at home, then that is her own fault. She should have married better.
5). Even if she married a “bad man” who isn’t contributing to household chores and childcare, this man still needs to be protected against this evil, lazy woman who is keeping him from retirement.