Anonymous
03/14/2014 16:34
Subject: Re:How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I know. And that is probably one reason why I haven't jumped him already. I'm not dumb, nor naive. I was sexually experienced before I met my husband and we didn't marry til we were 30. I'm highly educated; I have always done very well professionally.
This has just hit me like a ton of bricks. Wasn't expecting it at all. At all.
And maybe nothing's going to happen. He may well have reformed, having already gone down this road once.
I will say this for him, he has never been sleazy at work and he is highly regarded by everyone. And they do know his history, it's a small town. He is really a fabulous executive manager and he is as kind to the custodians as he is to the clients.
I suspect part of the reason for my attraction is that my husband doesn't really satisfy me sexually. He tries but I have been telling him for 17 years now what to do and he just can't seem to get the hang of it. I guess I want that part of me satisfied and I also want to keep my husband, because I do love him.
Thank you for posting so rationally and kindly and not flaming me.
I can tell you that the amount of attraction you feel for someone has no relationship to how good they turn out to be in bed. You may be dissatisfied with your husband's technique in bed, but there is absolutely no reason to believe your boss will be better. There is just no way to predict a man's bedroom performance adequately.
That's very wise but anytime I've felt this level of attraction, the sex has been amazing!
Anonymous
03/14/2014 16:34
Subject: How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
Anonymous wrote:To 14:29 ask your dh for an open marriage. Why do you get to step out and not him? Put yourself in his shoes.
He would be horrified and crushed.
Anonymous
03/14/2014 16:33
Subject: How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
Anonymous wrote:The wisest thing you can do is to talk to your husband about this.
What? Tell him I want to sleep with someone else?
Anonymous
03/14/2014 16:16
Subject: How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
To 14:29 ask your dh for an open marriage. Why do you get to step out and not him? Put yourself in his shoes.
Anonymous
03/14/2014 16:16
Subject: Re:How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
Anonymous wrote:I know. And that is probably one reason why I haven't jumped him already. I'm not dumb, nor naive. I was sexually experienced before I met my husband and we didn't marry til we were 30. I'm highly educated; I have always done very well professionally.
This has just hit me like a ton of bricks. Wasn't expecting it at all. At all.
And maybe nothing's going to happen. He may well have reformed, having already gone down this road once.
I will say this for him, he has never been sleazy at work and he is highly regarded by everyone. And they do know his history, it's a small town. He is really a fabulous executive manager and he is as kind to the custodians as he is to the clients.
I suspect part of the reason for my attraction is that my husband doesn't really satisfy me sexually. He tries but I have been telling him for 17 years now what to do and he just can't seem to get the hang of it. I guess I want that part of me satisfied and I also want to keep my husband, because I do love him.
Thank you for posting so rationally and kindly and not flaming me.
I can tell you that the amount of attraction you feel for someone has no relationship to how good they turn out to be in bed. You may be dissatisfied with your husband's technique in bed, but there is absolutely no reason to believe your boss will be better. There is just no way to predict a man's bedroom performance adequately.
Anonymous
03/14/2014 16:13
Subject: How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
The wisest thing you can do is to talk to your husband about this.
Anonymous
03/14/2014 16:02
Subject: Re:How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
I know. And that is probably one reason why I haven't jumped him already. I'm not dumb, nor naive. I was sexually experienced before I met my husband and we didn't marry til we were 30. I'm highly educated; I have always done very well professionally.
This has just hit me like a ton of bricks. Wasn't expecting it at all. At all.
And maybe nothing's going to happen. He may well have reformed, having already gone down this road once.
I will say this for him, he has never been sleazy at work and he is highly regarded by everyone. And they do know his history, it's a small town. He is really a fabulous executive manager and he is as kind to the custodians as he is to the clients.
I suspect part of the reason for my attraction is that my husband doesn't really satisfy me sexually. He tries but I have been telling him for 17 years now what to do and he just can't seem to get the hang of it. I guess I want that part of me satisfied and I also want to keep my husband, because I do love him.
Thank you for posting so rationally and kindly and not flaming me.
This has just hit me like a ton of bricks. Wasn't expecting it at all. At all.
And maybe nothing's going to happen. He may well have reformed, having already gone down this road once.
I will say this for him, he has never been sleazy at work and he is highly regarded by everyone. And they do know his history, it's a small town. He is really a fabulous executive manager and he is as kind to the custodians as he is to the clients.
I suspect part of the reason for my attraction is that my husband doesn't really satisfy me sexually. He tries but I have been telling him for 17 years now what to do and he just can't seem to get the hang of it. I guess I want that part of me satisfied and I also want to keep my husband, because I do love him.
Thank you for posting so rationally and kindly and not flaming me.
Anonymous
03/14/2014 15:56
Subject: Re:How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
Anonymous wrote:Oh for God's sake. It's not gross, it's human. I've made it to almost half-century without ever cheating on anyone, including steady boyfriends. I would hardly say that makes me out to be some kind of monster. I won't say I don't understand how you can say these things, though, because twenty years ago I was just as self-righteous and judgmental. Oops...
To quote Ben Franklin, "Three men can keep a secret if two of them are dead.”
Your affair, if it lasts longer than a single roll in the hay, will be suspected by some and will not be as discreet as you believe.
The longer anything secret goes on, the greater the likelihood that it will be suspected/discovered. It takes a lot of energy to keep secrets.
It's not a question of being judgmental or self-righteous. But you have to know before you make the decision that that odds are very high that if you do it more than once it will get discovered eventually.
Anonymous
03/14/2014 15:47
Subject: Re:How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
Oh for God's sake. It's not gross, it's human. I've made it to almost half-century without ever cheating on anyone, including steady boyfriends. I would hardly say that makes me out to be some kind of monster. I won't say I don't understand how you can say these things, though, because twenty years ago I was just as self-righteous and judgmental. Oops...
Anonymous
03/14/2014 15:40
Subject: Re:How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
Anonymous wrote:I hope this thread can be revived because I need to get something off my chest. I am completely head over heels in love and lust with my boss. Well, I don't care what you call it, all I know is that I think about him 24/7, I ache for him, I would be putty in his hands if he crooked his finger. I can't eat and I can't sleep for lusting after him.
Here is the deal. We are both in our late forties and have known each other for 15 years. Have friends in common, have socialized at the same parties etc. Had not really seen him much in the past five years til he hired me. We are both married with kids. I do not wish to divorce my husband, who I love, nor to I wish to disrupt his marriage. I just want mad passionate sex with him and heart to heart conversations whenever possible. Btw he is on his second marriage and he did cheat on his first wife. Call me crazy but I don't care because I am not looking to marry him. And I have never ever cheated on my husband of 17 years. Ever. And never thought I would. But this man has got me so crazy for him I would do anything to sleep with him.
When I started working for him about six months ago, I felt the attraction but it was nothing big and I never felt I would ever want to act on it. But my feelings have been growing. I suspected he found me very attractive and certainly liked me. A few mos. ago I found myself finding ways to be with him, email work questions, etc. Last week he told me that he was applying for a new job because he needs a bigger salary and wants to advance in his field. I emailed him right off the bat that I was happy for his ambitions but that he was breaking my heart because he was such a great boss. Said this jokingly and he wrote back saying it might not happen for awhile and he would try to take me with him wherever he went. Since then, our emails have gone from friendly business to bantering to slightly flirtatious. Have not progressed to texting yet so I am very careful about how I word my emails. Due to our history and the fact that we were friendly before I have actually considered finding a time and place to just tell him that I want to have an affair with him. I am just about 100% sure that he is very attracted to me! but as the boss he has been very professional at work, obviously. I suspect that he is not going to make that first move due to the fact that he is the superior. For what it's worth, I was a 10 back in the day and I'm probably still an 8 or a 9. Have taken very good care of myself and most people think I'm 35, not 47. He is a few years older than me.
I really want things to progress and I feel that we need to move to texting so that we can speak more freely. We are more open when writing to each other. In person I feel the sexual tension immediately when we're at work and we are both trying to hide it and be cool so no one notices. I can't go and see him in his office as much as I would like because it would just be obvious that I can't stay away from him, and vice versa.
Any thoughts. Never once thought I would feel this way or read the stuff on this board but I find myself nodding my head and going yup, that makes sense and what a great idea!!!! God....
You have several options:
1) Take a reality check and keep your thoughts to yourself. Get therapy with your husband and try to figure out why you are having these feelings for another man.
2) Divorce your husband. Ask him to divorce his wife. Then proceed with caution because you both clearly have commitment issues.
3) Proceed with an affair and destroy two families that didn't ask to be involved in your gross workplace fantasy.
Anonymous
03/14/2014 15:35
Subject: Re:How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
Anonymous wrote:I do not wish to divorce my husband, who I love, nor to I wish to disrupt his marriage.
But you will. Just. Stop.Now.
its an infatuation and it will pass. What wont pass so easily is how much damage you can do to your marriage, family, spouse and worklife. You need to change jobs, change divisions or change your outlook.
+1000. Stupid idea. Maybe you should just fart loudly in front of him. That ought to clear things up!
Anonymous
03/14/2014 15:31
Subject: How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
I appreciate the responses. But I don't want to get a divorce. I am almost 50 and I love my husband. You know I think at my age a discreet affair could happen. Hey where are all the people who were giving the fun advice? Sorry. I have to joke or I'll cry.
Anonymous
03/14/2014 15:03
Subject: How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
Anonymous wrote:Do everyone a favor, act mature and get divorced first.
+1
Anonymous
03/14/2014 14:39
Subject: Re:How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
I do not wish to divorce my husband, who I love, nor to I wish to disrupt his marriage.
But you will. Just. Stop.Now.
its an infatuation and it will pass. What wont pass so easily is how much damage you can do to your marriage, family, spouse and worklife. You need to change jobs, change divisions or change your outlook.
Anonymous
03/14/2014 14:29
Subject: Re:How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?
I hope this thread can be revived because I need to get something off my chest. I am completely head over heels in love and lust with my boss. Well, I don't care what you call it, all I know is that I think about him 24/7, I ache for him, I would be putty in his hands if he crooked his finger. I can't eat and I can't sleep for lusting after him.
Here is the deal. We are both in our late forties and have known each other for 15 years. Have friends in common, have socialized at the same parties etc. Had not really seen him much in the past five years til he hired me. We are both married with kids. I do not wish to divorce my husband, who I love, nor to I wish to disrupt his marriage. I just want mad passionate sex with him and heart to heart conversations whenever possible. Btw he is on his second marriage and he did cheat on his first wife. Call me crazy but I don't care because I am not looking to marry him. And I have never ever cheated on my husband of 17 years. Ever. And never thought I would. But this man has got me so crazy for him I would do anything to sleep with him.
When I started working for him about six months ago, I felt the attraction but it was nothing big and I never felt I would ever want to act on it. But my feelings have been growing. I suspected he found me very attractive and certainly liked me. A few mos. ago I found myself finding ways to be with him, email work questions, etc. Last week he told me that he was applying for a new job because he needs a bigger salary and wants to advance in his field. I emailed him right off the bat that I was happy for his ambitions but that he was breaking my heart because he was such a great boss. Said this jokingly and he wrote back saying it might not happen for awhile and he would try to take me with him wherever he went. Since then, our emails have gone from friendly business to bantering to slightly flirtatious. Have not progressed to texting yet so I am very careful about how I word my emails. Due to our history and the fact that we were friendly before I have actually considered finding a time and place to just tell him that I want to have an affair with him. I am just about 100% sure that he is very attracted to me! but as the boss he has been very professional at work, obviously. I suspect that he is not going to make that first move due to the fact that he is the superior. For what it's worth, I was a 10 back in the day and I'm probably still an 8 or a 9. Have taken very good care of myself and most people think I'm 35, not 47. He is a few years older than me.
I really want things to progress and I feel that we need to move to texting so that we can speak more freely. We are more open when writing to each other. In person I feel the sexual tension immediately when we're at work and we are both trying to hide it and be cool so no one notices. I can't go and see him in his office as much as I would like because it would just be obvious that I can't stay away from him, and vice versa.
Any thoughts. Never once thought I would feel this way or read the stuff on this board but I find myself nodding my head and going yup, that makes sense and what a great idea!!!! God....
Here is the deal. We are both in our late forties and have known each other for 15 years. Have friends in common, have socialized at the same parties etc. Had not really seen him much in the past five years til he hired me. We are both married with kids. I do not wish to divorce my husband, who I love, nor to I wish to disrupt his marriage. I just want mad passionate sex with him and heart to heart conversations whenever possible. Btw he is on his second marriage and he did cheat on his first wife. Call me crazy but I don't care because I am not looking to marry him. And I have never ever cheated on my husband of 17 years. Ever. And never thought I would. But this man has got me so crazy for him I would do anything to sleep with him.
When I started working for him about six months ago, I felt the attraction but it was nothing big and I never felt I would ever want to act on it. But my feelings have been growing. I suspected he found me very attractive and certainly liked me. A few mos. ago I found myself finding ways to be with him, email work questions, etc. Last week he told me that he was applying for a new job because he needs a bigger salary and wants to advance in his field. I emailed him right off the bat that I was happy for his ambitions but that he was breaking my heart because he was such a great boss. Said this jokingly and he wrote back saying it might not happen for awhile and he would try to take me with him wherever he went. Since then, our emails have gone from friendly business to bantering to slightly flirtatious. Have not progressed to texting yet so I am very careful about how I word my emails. Due to our history and the fact that we were friendly before I have actually considered finding a time and place to just tell him that I want to have an affair with him. I am just about 100% sure that he is very attracted to me! but as the boss he has been very professional at work, obviously. I suspect that he is not going to make that first move due to the fact that he is the superior. For what it's worth, I was a 10 back in the day and I'm probably still an 8 or a 9. Have taken very good care of myself and most people think I'm 35, not 47. He is a few years older than me.
I really want things to progress and I feel that we need to move to texting so that we can speak more freely. We are more open when writing to each other. In person I feel the sexual tension immediately when we're at work and we are both trying to hide it and be cool so no one notices. I can't go and see him in his office as much as I would like because it would just be obvious that I can't stay away from him, and vice versa.
Any thoughts. Never once thought I would feel this way or read the stuff on this board but I find myself nodding my head and going yup, that makes sense and what a great idea!!!! God....