Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is now over.
Is he this unhelpful during other holidays?

OP: "We need a Christmas tree."
DH: ...brings home an artificial Christmas tree...
OP: "As if the kids want that tree. The kids want a natural Douglas fir."

DH: "Your brothers would like St. Patrick's beer."
OP: ...brings home Murphy’s Irish Stout...
DH: "As if your brothers want that beer. Your brothers told me they want Guinness."

Why would you be married to someone who didn't know these things though. I get that you think you're being clever, but my husband has known since the first Christmas we celebrated when we were dating that I only like Douglas firs. He would never bring some a Noble fir because he knows I'd hate it. I don't know why you people are acting like knowing your spouse's and children's preferences is some kind of weird thing.

PP - It's not weird to know this. The point of my response was that it's not good when you cannot communicate the preferences over things like this, just like it's not good to buy the wrong thing because you didn't make an effort to discuss how your values differ and reach an amicable resolution where everyone has their preferences fulfilled. What we know for certain is this couple needs to make a better effort at talking about things.

[My] understanding from the OP was that her husband did know her and the kids preferences, but decided not to get them because he didn’t feel like she was celebrating Easter “right.”

According to OP, all that was asked for was "Easter themed" candy. "As if kids want those. Nothing Easter themed." (Shopping husband could have clarified 'Easter themed'). OP did specify "gift card", which was not purchased; shopping husband is culpable here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is now over.
Is he this unhelpful during other holidays?

OP: "We need a Christmas tree."
DH: ...brings home an artificial Christmas tree...
OP: "As if the kids want that tree. The kids want a natural Douglas fir."

DH: "Your brothers would like St. Patrick's beer."
OP: ...brings home Murphy’s Irish Stout...
DH: "As if your brothers want that beer. Your brothers told me they want Guinness."

Why would you be married to someone who didn't know these things though. I get that you think you're being clever, but my husband has known since the first Christmas we celebrated when we were dating that I only like Douglas firs. He would never bring some a Noble fir because he knows I'd hate it. I don't know why you people are acting like knowing your spouse's and children's preferences is some kind of weird thing.

I think the OP is kind of like if your husband purposefully got you a Noble fir, knowing you would hate it, because he wants to prove to you that the tree isn’t the “reason for the season,” and he thinks you should take the kids to church and make Christmas dinner rather than fussing so much about your tree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is now over.
Is he this unhelpful during other holidays?

OP: "We need a Christmas tree."
DH: ...brings home an artificial Christmas tree...
OP: "As if the kids want that tree. The kids want a natural Douglas fir."

DH: "Your brothers would like St. Patrick's beer."
OP: ...brings home Murphy’s Irish Stout...
DH: "As if your brothers want that beer. Your brothers told me they want Guinness."

Why would you be married to someone who didn't know these things though. I get that you think you're being clever, but my husband has known since the first Christmas we celebrated when we were dating that I only like Douglas firs. He would never bring some a Noble fir because he knows I'd hate it. I don't know why you people are acting like knowing your spouse's and children's preferences is some kind of weird thing.

M understanding from the OP was that her husband did know her and the kids preferences, but decided not to get them because he didn’t feel like she was celebrating Easter “right.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is now over.
Is he this unhelpful during other holidays?

OP: "We need a Christmas tree."
DH: ...brings home an artificial Christmas tree...
OP: "As if the kids want that tree. The kids want a natural Douglas fir."

DH: "Your brothers would like St. Patrick's beer."
OP: ...brings home Murphy’s Irish Stout...
DH: "As if your brothers want that beer. Your brothers told me they want Guinness."

Why would you be married to someone who didn't know these things though. I get that you think you're being clever, but my husband has known since the first Christmas we celebrated when we were dating that I only like Douglas firs. He would never bring some a Noble fir because he knows I'd hate it. I don't know why you people are acting like knowing your spouse's and children's preferences is some kind of weird thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. It would never occur to me to ask DH to get stuff to fill the Easter eggs. Just like he'd never ask me to cut the grass, detail the car or call someone for a home repair. My territory is planning fun activities for the kids, throwing their parties, stuffing their stockings, hiding the elf, getting them all gifts for all holidays/birthdays. I'm good at it and I enjoy it. If I asked DH to do it, he might try, but I wouldn't trust him not to fail miserably just like your DH did. It would not shock me if he brought Paydays and almond chocolate rather than high end foil wrapped eggs. He would just have no clue.

This seems silly to get mad about. Just embrace your stuff and have him do what he's good at.

There was an update. He does the shopping. He didn’t accidentally get the wrong thing. He knew what she wanted and didn’t get it in order to prove a point.

He knew she wanted Easter candy.

The debate around that is whether or not a Hershey bar qualifies as Easter candy, and who has the Authority to make this determination for the rest of us.

He knew she wanted candy her kids would like. Whether or not your kids like Hershey's with almonds is a moot point. My kid likes Mounds bars. I think they're disgusting but I'd still get them for her.

Where did OP specify what candy the kids said they prefer, other than 'easter candy'?

A parent should know what kind of candy their kids like. My husband did the stockings this year because he knows what we all want. It's not that high of a bar.

It's not that serious. My kids like different candy. Some like sour and some don't. One wants only chocolate the others want gummies. So if we fill eggs with candy they don't necessarily get their preferred candy. They don't care that much either way and they can trade if they don't like it or just give it to me because sometimes I put in the kind I like too.

My whole family hates Peeps. So guess what neither my husband nor I would buy? Peeps? If one of OP's kids liked the candy her husband picked up, then that kid could have gotten it. It's so odd to me that you're pushing so hard to defend OP's husband. Perhaps you are also a petty man child?

I also hate peeps but love paydays and hershey with almonds. My kids also love those Hershey nuggets which have nuts. Newsflash: people are different and some don’t even celebrate Easter! Shocking.

Your inability to think that you aren't the subject of this thread is becoming tiresome. No one cares what kind of candy you or your kids like. OP said HER kids, for whom the candy was purchased, wouldn't like the candy her husband chose. Given his childish reaction to the whole situation, it's not a stretch to think he might have purposefully gotten candy he knew they wouldn't like just to piss her off. No one cares if your kids like weird candy. Newsflash: it is irrelevant to this story.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is now over.
Is he this unhelpful during other holidays?

OP: "We need a Christmas tree."
DH: ...brings home an artificial Christmas tree...
OP: "As if the kids want that tree. The kids want a natural Douglas fir."

DH: "Your brothers would like St. Patrick's beer."
OP: ...brings home Murphy’s Irish Stout...
DH: "As if your brothers want that beer. Your brothers told me they want Guinness."

Ha! And he gets the artificial tree because he doesn’t think that trees are what Christmas is all about.

She just thinks she deserves and instagram worthy real tree for Christmas, but he knows she doesn’t!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is now over.
Is he this unhelpful during other holidays?

OP: "We need a Christmas tree."
DH: ...brings home an artificial Christmas tree...
OP: "As if the kids want that tree. The kids want a natural Douglas fir."

DH: "Your brothers would like St. Patrick's beer."
OP: ...brings home Murphy’s Irish Stout...
DH: "As if your brothers want that beer. Your brothers told me they want Guinness."

Ha! And he gets the artificial tree because he doesn’t think that trees are what Christmas is all about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easter is now over.
Is he this unhelpful during other holidays?

OP: "We need a Christmas tree."
DH: ...brings home an artificial Christmas tree...
OP: "As if the kids want that tree. The kids want a natural Douglas fir."

DH: "Your brothers would like St. Patrick's beer."
OP: ...brings home Murphy’s Irish Stout...
DH: "As if your brothers want that beer. Your brothers told me they want Guinness."

😩

Anonymous wrote:Easter is now over.
Is he this unhelpful during other holidays?

OP: "We need a Christmas tree."
DH: ...brings home an artificial Christmas tree...
OP: "As if the kids want that tree. The kids want a natural Douglas fir."

DH: "Your brothers would like St. Patrick's beer."
OP: ...brings home Murphy’s Irish Stout...
DH: "As if your brothers want that beer. Your brothers told me they want Guinness."

Easter is now over.
Is he this unhelpful during other holidays?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. It would never occur to me to ask DH to get stuff to fill the Easter eggs. Just like he'd never ask me to cut the grass, detail the car or call someone for a home repair. My territory is planning fun activities for the kids, throwing their parties, stuffing their stockings, hiding the elf, getting them all gifts for all holidays/birthdays. I'm good at it and I enjoy it. If I asked DH to do it, he might try, but I wouldn't trust him not to fail miserably just like your DH did. It would not shock me if he brought Paydays and almond chocolate rather than high end foil wrapped eggs. He would just have no clue.

This seems silly to get mad about. Just embrace your stuff and have him do what he's good at.

There was an update. He does the shopping. He didn’t accidentally get the wrong thing. He knew what she wanted and didn’t get it in order to prove a point.

He knew she wanted Easter candy.

The debate around that is whether or not a Hershey bar qualifies as Easter candy, and who has the Authority to make this determination for the rest of us.

He knew she wanted candy her kids would like. Whether or not your kids like Hershey's with almonds is a moot point. My kid likes Mounds bars. I think they're disgusting but I'd still get them for her.

Where did OP specify what candy the kids said they prefer, other than 'easter candy'?

A parent should know what kind of candy their kids like. My husband did the stockings this year because he knows what we all want. It's not that high of a bar.

It's not that serious. My kids like different candy. Some like sour and some don't. One wants only chocolate the others want gummies. So if we fill eggs with candy they don't necessarily get their preferred candy. They don't care that much either way and they can trade if they don't like it or just give it to me because sometimes I put in the kind I like too.

My whole family hates Peeps. So guess what neither my husband nor I would buy? Peeps? If one of OP's kids liked the candy her husband picked up, then that kid could have gotten it. It's so odd to me that you're pushing so hard to defend OP's husband. Perhaps you are also a petty man child?

I also hate peeps but love paydays and hershey with almonds. My kids also love those Hershey nuggets which have nuts. Newsflash: people are different and some don’t even celebrate Easter! Shocking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

+1
He was 100 percent clear that he didn't want to do this completely optional activity. You had plenty of warning that he didn't want to do this. In your place, I would have just bought the candy myself.

Np he wasn't clear. If he had been he would have said no, i can't do this.

And he would have talked to the kids about it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not religious, you have nothing to grouse about. Your husband rightly sees it as just another Sunday. If you want to do stuff, do stuff.

If something optional/extraneous is not important to my husband, of course I don’t expect him to do something about it, and vice versa. Of course that doesn’t go for doing taxes, household chores, taking care of children, but if he’s not into play-acting a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate, of course I wouldn’t expect him to do anything.

Your expectations are 100% off, OP.

+1
He was 100 percent clear that he didn't want to do this completely optional activity. You had plenty of warning that he didn't want to do this. In your place, I would have just bought the candy myself.

Np he wasn't clear. If he had been he would have said no, i can't do this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. It would never occur to me to ask DH to get stuff to fill the Easter eggs. Just like he'd never ask me to cut the grass, detail the car or call someone for a home repair. My territory is planning fun activities for the kids, throwing their parties, stuffing their stockings, hiding the elf, getting them all gifts for all holidays/birthdays. I'm good at it and I enjoy it. If I asked DH to do it, he might try, but I wouldn't trust him not to fail miserably just like your DH did. It would not shock me if he brought Paydays and almond chocolate rather than high end foil wrapped eggs. He would just have no clue.

This seems silly to get mad about. Just embrace your stuff and have him do what he's good at.

There was an update. He does the shopping. He didn’t accidentally get the wrong thing. He knew what she wanted and didn’t get it in order to prove a point.

He knew she wanted Easter candy.

The debate around that is whether or not a Hershey bar qualifies as Easter candy, and who has the Authority to make this determination for the rest of us.

He knew she wanted candy her kids would like. Whether or not your kids like Hershey's with almonds is a moot point. My kid likes Mounds bars. I think they're disgusting but I'd still get them for her.

Where did OP specify what candy the kids said they prefer, other than 'easter candy'?

A parent should know what kind of candy their kids like. My husband did the stockings this year because he knows what we all want. It's not that high of a bar.

This is a really dumb test. My husband is an excellent very involved father and I'm sure he has no idea what type of candy each of our kids likes. I think all of you are just trying really hard to be unhappy.

Actually I'm very happily married. To a man who knows what type of candy our kids likes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. It would never occur to me to ask DH to get stuff to fill the Easter eggs. Just like he'd never ask me to cut the grass, detail the car or call someone for a home repair. My territory is planning fun activities for the kids, throwing their parties, stuffing their stockings, hiding the elf, getting them all gifts for all holidays/birthdays. I'm good at it and I enjoy it. If I asked DH to do it, he might try, but I wouldn't trust him not to fail miserably just like your DH did. It would not shock me if he brought Paydays and almond chocolate rather than high end foil wrapped eggs. He would just have no clue.

This seems silly to get mad about. Just embrace your stuff and have him do what he's good at.

There was an update. He does the shopping. He didn’t accidentally get the wrong thing. He knew what she wanted and didn’t get it in order to prove a point.

He knew she wanted Easter candy.

The debate around that is whether or not a Hershey bar qualifies as Easter candy, and who has the Authority to make this determination for the rest of us.

He knew she wanted candy her kids would like. Whether or not your kids like Hershey's with almonds is a moot point. My kid likes Mounds bars. I think they're disgusting but I'd still get them for her.

Where did OP specify what candy the kids said they prefer, other than 'easter candy'?

A parent should know what kind of candy their kids like. My husband did the stockings this year because he knows what we all want. It's not that high of a bar.

It's not that serious. My kids like different candy. Some like sour and some don't. One wants only chocolate the others want gummies. So if we fill eggs with candy they don't necessarily get their preferred candy. They don't care that much either way and they can trade if they don't like it or just give it to me because sometimes I put in the kind I like too.

My whole family hates Peeps. So guess what neither my husband nor I would buy? Peeps? If one of OP's kids liked the candy her husband picked up, then that kid could have gotten it. It's so odd to me that you're pushing so hard to defend OP's husband. Perhaps you are also a petty man child?