Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
No one is saying you shouldn't gossip, but you have the rest of your day and weekends to do it. How bizarre.
And I'm saying I have yet to hear a good reason why you should decide for me and my kids when we communicate. There is nothing bizarre about this.
The good reason is that they are trying to learn at school and you’re interrupting it
Sigh. Can we stay focused on what this conversation is about? No one is saying phones should be out during instructional time. That's about 3 hours of the school day. Further, no one is saying the whole rest of the day should be spent on phones. Rather, I am saying that we don't have a good reason for bell-to-bell expensive phone jail when there is a calibrated middle ground of putting away phones most of the time with reasonable exceptions. That is supportable but the extreme policy of Yondr is not.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
No one is saying you shouldn't gossip, but you have the rest of your day and weekends to do it. How bizarre.
And I'm saying I have yet to hear a good reason why you should decide for me and my kids when we communicate. There is nothing bizarre about this.
The good reason is that they are trying to learn at school and you’re interrupting it
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
No one is saying you shouldn't gossip, but you have the rest of your day and weekends to do it. How bizarre.
And I'm saying I have yet to hear a good reason why you should decide for me and my kids when we communicate. There is nothing bizarre about this.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
No one is saying you shouldn't gossip, but you have the rest of your day and weekends to do it. How bizarre.
And I'm saying I have yet to hear a good reason why you should decide for me and my kids when we communicate. There is nothing bizarre about this.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
No one is saying you shouldn't gossip, but you have the rest of your day and weekends to do it. How bizarre.
And I'm saying I have yet to hear a good reason why you should decide for me and my kids when we communicate. There is nothing bizarre about this.
Teens really should be communicating with their peers rather than their parents throughout their day. It is a big part of growing up and maturing.
Don't infantilize your children because of your own insecurity.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
No one is saying you shouldn't gossip, but you have the rest of your day and weekends to do it. How bizarre.
And I'm saying I have yet to hear a good reason why you should decide for me and my kids when we communicate. There is nothing bizarre about this.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
No one is saying you shouldn't gossip, but you have the rest of your day and weekends to do it. How bizarre.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
Your children need to be gossiping with their peers, not their mom.
+1
This is why no phones at lunch is just as important as no phones in class. There are many lessons to be learned in school, some in the classroom, some outside the classroom.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
Your children need to be gossiping with their peers, not their mom.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Incorrect. Some suggested reading: Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari. Given that you structure your life to minimize the annoyances of human interaction, you should have time. but in case you're not the reading sort, I'll sum up. Homo sapiens are social animals and our ability to gossip and social is key to survival and reproduction. "It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bison. It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest, and who is a cheat." Put anther way, gossip separates us from the apes. It is not just normal, it is what makes us human.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
Because your child should be focusing on school during the workday not catching up on what Aunt Jane said about the guy next door who has cancer. Similarly, your husband should be working instead of chatting away with you all day. I definitely do not text people all day long during the workday (and neither do my relatives/friends/acquaintances - I mean, sometimes my retired parents forget that I'm working and send me a text in the middle of the day, but we're chatting away regularly, they ask a question, maybe I will respond when I have a minute). Your interactions throughout the day aren't normal unless none of you have jobs.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Fully support a no phone policy and ask that schools enforce it. Up to them how to do it but there is no place for them during the school day, at all. I don’t want to hear the whining from admins. If the pouch makes them stop whining, fine.
Aren’t the admins now going to be tasked as the messengers going between kids and parents that can’t communicate directly? Strikes me as a lot more work for admins than before.
Most messages do not really need communicated mid day. Plan ahead.
Interesting how the talking points evolve. First, it was don’t worry about communicating with your kid because you can just communicate through the front office. So, now it is, actually what you have to say to your kid or your kid has to say to you is not all that important in our view so no need to communicate at all.
No, I think the point was important messages can be communicated through the front office but there are only so many important messages. How often are you contacting your kid during the school day??
DS is in HS with the phone pockets in each class but when he was in MS, there was an "away for the day" rule. I never had to communicate anything to him the entire two years. One time he asked a teacher if he could use his phone to text me -- he was excited to have received the highest grade in the class on a test. The teacher said it was fine (and also messaged me through Talking Points to tell me a) he allowed the phone usage and b) to tell me how impressed he was with my kid's performance in his class.
DD is at a Yondr school and she thinks this is no big deal.
Your example is exactly why "away for the day" is better than Yondr. The teacher recognized that an exception was warranted; a pouch can't do that. I agree that most during-the-school-day communication is not urgent, but why is that the standard? We are we throwing supportive parent-child communication in with the basket of evils. It is a good thing to have a line of communication with your kid because there are non-urgent things (like sharing excitement over a test) that are important. Yes, they can wait, but no one has explained why they should. If the evils we're combatting are distraction and phone addiction, stopping normal, healthy communication doesn't advance the ball. It is just a side effect. Why tolerate negative side effects when there is a cheaper alternative without them? If we now have to prove there is an emergency to be allowed to talk to our kids, there should be a good reason, and there isn't.
Good lord, land that helicopter.
You are confused. A helicopter parent is one who is heavily engaged in engineering a child's life. Keeping in touch with a kid is normal, healthy parenting.
When it happens before/after school. It does not need to happen during. Let your kid have some space.
I communicate with my husband, my sister, my parents, my friends, and even my in-laws throughout the day when we're all working. The discussions hardly ever concern emergencies. I don't need to have all these conversations but they enrich all our lives. Why would my relationship with my kid be any different? Relationships are ongoing conversations. I'm confused as to why we are casting family communication as a bad thing.
I am pretty sure your kids' teachers would prefer their lives not be enriched during class. And the same probably goes for your employers.
Well, technically, I'm my own employer as a partner at my firm but I assure you the firm is perfectly happy with my performance and actually prefers that we all -- owners and employees alike -- maintain a work-life balance. As far as school goes, there are mountains of non-instructional time even when you don't count lunch and study hall. I am not suggesting that my kid text me during instructional time but I see no reason why a pouch should stand in the way when he is not actually getting instruction from a teacher.