I don't know why scare quotes were used for "shacking up"? It is when you move in with a man you're not married to. It became extremely common in the last couple of decades, including multiple times on Sex and the City. And then women wonder why 'peter pan' men won't commit—why buy the cow when you get the milk for free.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also she brags about her 21 year old daughter who married a med student. So old school. I would rather that my daughter was the doctor, not the doctors wife.

+100

Didn't gen X nana say her oldest daughter was an RN or a teacher? Hardly an insignificant career, with both requiring a master's degree and offering great pay vis a vis work-life balance, plus great health care and fringe benefits. You jaded spinsters – and don't deny that you're not, you're fooling no one – are twisting everything to paint her as low class white trash, with a barefoot and pregnant SAHM 20-something daughter and some budding MD son in law who of course cheats on her with classmates and will divorce her to marry some surgeon or lawyer. Your cynicism suggests you're deeply unhappy.

NP. If there’s a fool proof way to know which husbands will not cheat or which ones will not divorce you once they are in their 50’s and 60’s, let us know. This has nothing to do with cynicism and everything to do with reality.

So all of us can see the divorce coming for SAHM daughter married to budding MD except brunch granny. I actually feel bad for the daughter but brunch granny seems well off enough to support the daughter and children when hot catch MD leaves for a partner and peer. I also hope there was a pre-nup so the daughter has some way to support the kids.

My HS friend had this happen to her, down to the husband in med school leaving her for a classmate. Divorced at 30 with FIVE kids. She's always on FB ranting about how there are no good men out there that want to date her and she has no idea why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/27/women-child-free-30-ons

More than half (50.1%) of women in England and Wales born in 1990 were without a child when they turned 30 in 2020, the first generation to do so, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).
That is almost three times higher than the lowest number of women ever to be child-free at 30 – 17.9% of those born in 1941.
At the same time the average number of children women have by the time they reach 30 has fallen to its lowest-ever level (0.96).

Hook-up culture and shack-up female careerists are eliminating themselves from the gene pool. While women who prioritize monogamy, building a family, and having children in their 20s will have heritable traits that also incline their children to also prioritize families over consumerism, traveling, shopping, juggling boyfriends in your 20s. And the girl bosses will never admit they're wrong because misery loves company.

This isn’t always the woman’s choice though. Many women wanted real relationships but could only find men interested in sex. And then you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. If you put out, then you end up being “a shack-up female careerist.” If you don’t, if you tell every guy you are waiting for marriage/engagement/commitment, then you end up being a 30 year old virgin or very inexperienced and men lose patience with you or think it’s weird.

I wanted marriage and a family. I was also determined not to put off living my life because I was devoting all my time and energy to finding the right man. (I had friends who, into their thirties, were forgoing vacations, putting off buying proper furniture, and sleeping on a single bed because they didn't have a man, and I didn't want to be that person).

I did try to become a single mother by choice in my thirties but unfortunately was not successful.

Sure I'm disappointed that I never found a suitable partner. But I can't say that I envy my friends who married men they didn't love, like or respect in order to have kids. Most of them are miserable now. And I don't envy my forty-eight year old friend who finally married last month after thirty years of prioritizing dating. I did the best I could in a situation that was not entirely in my control. I regret that I couldn't have children, but it's possible that I wouldn't have been able to have them even if I'd married young.

I've never been into hook-ups, I've never "shacked up", I never juggled boyfriends, and I've never been focused on career.

Some people don't get what they want. I didn't. But I'm living my life and I'm happy. I'd be even happier if people who were luckier than was weren't so cruel.

^^

I am absolutely ready to see a teacher run for President. I cannot stand lawyers-turned-politicians. Of either party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/27/women-child-free-30-ons

More than half (50.1%) of women in England and Wales born in 1990 were without a child when they turned 30 in 2020, the first generation to do so, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).
That is almost three times higher than the lowest number of women ever to be child-free at 30 – 17.9% of those born in 1941.
At the same time the average number of children women have by the time they reach 30 has fallen to its lowest-ever level (0.96).

Hook-up culture and shack-up female careerists are eliminating themselves from the gene pool. While women who prioritize monogamy, building a family, and having children in their 20s will have heritable traits that also incline their children to also prioritize families over consumerism, traveling, shopping, juggling boyfriends in your 20s. And the girl bosses will never admit they're wrong because misery loves company.

I’m glad these women exist to be brood mares and breed a generation of maids and service workers for my kids.

Old eggs don't typically produce healthy strong children. You can see this same phenom in mothers with lots of children, who started in their 20s and continued in their 30s. Often the last one or two children are smaller, less intelligent, and/or have some health issue(s).

That’s great. We need able bodied, strong people to be our future underclass.

When the revolution comes, the underclass will become the ruling class

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also she brags about her 21 year old daughter who married a med student. So old school. I would rather that my daughter was the doctor, not the doctors wife.

+100

Didn't gen X nana say her oldest daughter was an RN or a teacher? Hardly an insignificant career, with both requiring a master's degree and offering great pay vis a vis work-life balance, plus great health care and fringe benefits. You jaded spinsters – and don't deny that you're not, you're fooling no one – are twisting everything to paint her as low class white trash, with a barefoot and pregnant SAHM 20-something daughter and some budding MD son in law who of course cheats on her with classmates and will divorce her to marry some surgeon or lawyer. Your cynicism suggests you're deeply unhappy.

NP. If there’s a fool proof way to know which husbands will not cheat or which ones will not divorce you once they are in their 50’s and 60’s, let us know. This has nothing to do with cynicism and everything to do with reality.

So all of us can see the divorce coming for SAHM daughter married to budding MD except brunch granny. I actually feel bad for the daughter but brunch granny seems well off enough to support the daughter and children when hot catch MD leaves for a partner and peer. I also hope there was a pre-nup so the daughter has some way to support the kids.

My daughter is a public school teacher, not a nurse and not a stay at home mother. She does have a master’s degree. Her husband is finishing medical school.

I also became a single mom by choice in my 30s. The men I dated were nowhere near the commitment stage that i had been in since my mid-20s. I joined my SMC local group when I was in the "thinking stage", and I have had a very tight group of SMC friends these past 11 years. I have never paid for babysitting, ever. We all trade with each other. We understand finances and try to help each other out the best we can.

I now have an 8 year old daughter whom I cannot imagine living without My own parents were hesitant for me but like most grandparents they want the best for their kids and grandkids and they brag about me doing it all myself I did not tell them until I was 4 months pregnant and safely on my way. I was 33 when I delivered.

I see so many of my non-SMC friends in their 30s and 40s aching for a family, some of them really losing hope as the men come and go. I highly suggest finding a local group and getting your finances and life in order ASAP and then gong for it. One thing I did in planning stage was get a housemate --sometimes 2. It was not my first choice but wow did I have money saved up for when I was ready. I know many other single moms who did this, and/or take on a 2nd job. It is not forever, it is until you are ready to conceive / adopt your baby.

If you have a local SNC group -- or join the national organization -- you will find out all sorts of hints to becoming a mom when your "first plan" is not working out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also she brags about her 21 year old daughter who married a med student. So old school. I would rather that my daughter was the doctor, not the doctors wife.

+100

Didn't gen X nana say her oldest daughter was an RN or a teacher? Hardly an insignificant career, with both requiring a master's degree and offering great pay vis a vis work-life balance, plus great health care and fringe benefits. You jaded spinsters – and don't deny that you're not, you're fooling no one – are twisting everything to paint her as low class white trash, with a barefoot and pregnant SAHM 20-something daughter and some budding MD son in law who of course cheats on her with classmates and will divorce her to marry some surgeon or lawyer. Your cynicism suggests you're deeply unhappy.

NP. If there’s a fool proof way to know which husbands will not cheat or which ones will not divorce you once they are in their 50’s and 60’s, let us know. This has nothing to do with cynicism and everything to do with reality.

So all of us can see the divorce coming for SAHM daughter married to budding MD except brunch granny. I actually feel bad for the daughter but brunch granny seems well off enough to support the daughter and children when hot catch MD leaves for a partner and peer. I also hope there was a pre-nup so the daughter has some way to support the kids.

You people are so gullible. Brunch granny’s daughter is probably a nail tech and MD son in law is the tech who takes x rays for the radiologist. Trashy people who become grandmas at 45 are ignorant and think neuroscience and neurosurgery, for ex, are the same thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/27/women-child-free-30-ons

More than half (50.1%) of women in England and Wales born in 1990 were without a child when they turned 30 in 2020, the first generation to do so, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).
That is almost three times higher than the lowest number of women ever to be child-free at 30 – 17.9% of those born in 1941.
At the same time the average number of children women have by the time they reach 30 has fallen to its lowest-ever level (0.96).

Hook-up culture and shack-up female careerists are eliminating themselves from the gene pool. While women who prioritize monogamy, building a family, and having children in their 20s will have heritable traits that also incline their children to also prioritize families over consumerism, traveling, shopping, juggling boyfriends in your 20s. And the girl bosses will never admit they're wrong because misery loves company.

This isn’t always the woman’s choice though. Many women wanted real relationships but could only find men interested in sex. And then you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. If you put out, then you end up being “a shack-up female careerist.” If you don’t, if you tell every guy you are waiting for marriage/engagement/commitment, then you end up being a 30 year old virgin or very inexperienced and men lose patience with you or think it’s weird.

This. I would have LOVED to have a family early, but the guys my age just didn’t have their sh!t together. Out partying/drinking, working dead end jobs, trying to pick up other women, get high and play video games all day, live with 4 other guys and have gross posters of naked women everywhere, they ghost you after you sleep with them or they ghost you if you don’t sleep with them. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to marry a man 15 years older than me; while they may be more mature, I also didn’t want to spend my retirement taking care of a much older man.

The issue is that men nowadays just aren’t worth much. They aren’t getting into college, they aren’t getting good jobs, they think with their d!cks, they have no impulse control or ability to plan for the future. Women are surpassing them and no woman wants to marry a loser. Males need to step it up.

Exactly. And why is it ALWAYS the woman's fault?

It's the woman's fault if she sleeps with the guy who ghosts her - she shouldn't have given it up too fast.
It's the woman's fault if she doesn't sleep with a guy and he ghosts her - she shouldn't have been withholding sex and demanding a commitment.
It's the woman's fault if she's single - she should have tried harder to settle down in her 20s.
It's also the woman's fault if she tries too hard. Because nothing scares a man away like a girl hunting for a ring on that finger.
It's the woman's fault if she can't support herself and wants to marry a guy for financial security - she's a gold digger.
It's also the woman's fault if she focuses too much on her career - men just want the cute 25 year old barista.
It's the woman's fault if she won't settle for the guy who is addicted to video games. It's also the woman's fault if she does settle for the guy who is addicted to video games and ends up unhappy or divorced.

All of this!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/27/women-child-free-30-ons

More than half (50.1%) of women in England and Wales born in 1990 were without a child when they turned 30 in 2020, the first generation to do so, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).
That is almost three times higher than the lowest number of women ever to be child-free at 30 – 17.9% of those born in 1941.
At the same time the average number of children women have by the time they reach 30 has fallen to its lowest-ever level (0.96).

Hook-up culture and shack-up female careerists are eliminating themselves from the gene pool. While women who prioritize monogamy, building a family, and having children in their 20s will have heritable traits that also incline their children to also prioritize families over consumerism, traveling, shopping, juggling boyfriends in your 20s. And the girl bosses will never admit they're wrong because misery loves company.

This isn’t always the woman’s choice though. Many women wanted real relationships but could only find men interested in sex. And then you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. If you put out, then you end up being “a shack-up female careerist.” If you don’t, if you tell every guy you are waiting for marriage/engagement/commitment, then you end up being a 30 year old virgin or very inexperienced and men lose patience with you or think it’s weird.

This. I would have LOVED to have a family early, but the guys my age just didn’t have their sh!t together. Out partying/drinking, working dead end jobs, trying to pick up other women, get high and play video games all day, live with 4 other guys and have gross posters of naked women everywhere, they ghost you after you sleep with them or they ghost you if you don’t sleep with them. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to marry a man 15 years older than me; while they may be more mature, I also didn’t want to spend my retirement taking care of a much older man.

The issue is that men nowadays just aren’t worth much. They aren’t getting into college, they aren’t getting good jobs, they think with their d!cks, they have no impulse control or ability to plan for the future. Women are surpassing them and no woman wants to marry a loser. Males need to step it up.

Exactly. And why is it ALWAYS the woman's fault?

It's the woman's fault if she sleeps with the guy who ghosts her - she shouldn't have given it up too fast.
It's the woman's fault if she doesn't sleep with a guy and he ghosts her - she shouldn't have been withholding sex and demanding a commitment.
It's the woman's fault if she's single - she should have tried harder to settle down in her 20s.
It's also the woman's fault if she tries too hard. Because nothing scares a man away like a girl hunting for a ring on that finger.
It's the woman's fault if she can't support herself and wants to marry a guy for financial security - she's a gold digger.
It's also the woman's fault if she focuses too much on her career - men just want the cute 25 year old barista.
It's the woman's fault if she won't settle for the guy who is addicted to video games. It's also the woman's fault if she does settle for the guy who is addicted to video games and ends up unhappy or divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/27/women-child-free-30-ons

More than half (50.1%) of women in England and Wales born in 1990 were without a child when they turned 30 in 2020, the first generation to do so, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).
That is almost three times higher than the lowest number of women ever to be child-free at 30 – 17.9% of those born in 1941.
At the same time the average number of children women have by the time they reach 30 has fallen to its lowest-ever level (0.96).

Hook-up culture and shack-up female careerists are eliminating themselves from the gene pool. While women who prioritize monogamy, building a family, and having children in their 20s will have heritable traits that also incline their children to also prioritize families over consumerism, traveling, shopping, juggling boyfriends in your 20s. And the girl bosses will never admit they're wrong because misery loves company.

Perfectly stated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also she brags about her 21 year old daughter who married a med student. So old school. I would rather that my daughter was the doctor, not the doctors wife.

+100

Didn't gen X nana say her oldest daughter was an RN or a teacher? Hardly an insignificant career, with both requiring a master's degree and offering great pay vis a vis work-life balance, plus great health care and fringe benefits. You jaded spinsters – and don't deny that you're not, you're fooling no one – are twisting everything to paint her as low class white trash, with a barefoot and pregnant SAHM 20-something daughter and some budding MD son in law who of course cheats on her with classmates and will divorce her to marry some surgeon or lawyer. Your cynicism suggests you're deeply unhappy.

NP. If there’s a fool proof way to know which husbands will not cheat or which ones will not divorce you once they are in their 50’s and 60’s, let us know. This has nothing to do with cynicism and everything to do with reality.

So all of us can see the divorce coming for SAHM daughter married to budding MD except brunch granny. I actually feel bad for the daughter but brunch granny seems well off enough to support the daughter and children when hot catch MD leaves for a partner and peer. I also hope there was a pre-nup so the daughter has some way to support the kids.

Anonymous wrote:You can be a nurse with a 2-year RN degree. It's full-time; it's intense. It includes summers and an entire year of clinical. No need for BSN. Get the degree in 2 years and start earning decent money by the time you are 20!

-- RN mom with 2 RN daughters

This is what my relative is doing. Found a program that is free for them too, so win-win all around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/27/women-child-free-30-ons

More than half (50.1%) of women in England and Wales born in 1990 were without a child when they turned 30 in 2020, the first generation to do so, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).
That is almost three times higher than the lowest number of women ever to be child-free at 30 – 17.9% of those born in 1941.
At the same time the average number of children women have by the time they reach 30 has fallen to its lowest-ever level (0.96).

Hook-up culture and shack-up female careerists are eliminating themselves from the gene pool. While women who prioritize monogamy, building a family, and having children in their 20s will have heritable traits that also incline their children to also prioritize families over consumerism, traveling, shopping, juggling boyfriends in your 20s. And the girl bosses will never admit they're wrong because misery loves company.

You do seem pretty miserable, I'll give you that.

I agree so many men are losers when it comes to family and responsibility. Peter Pan syndrome.

However in today's world it is so easy to purchase sperm and have the child you want WHEN you want it.

I became a single mom by choice at 32. I had a blast picking out the sperm donor. My mom and my best friend gave their input. But in the end i ended picking a donor who was a combination of the 2 men I dated and admired most.

Couldn't be happier with my little boy who is now 5. And, I date for fun, not spouse-attracting. It sure takes the pressure off.