Anonymous wrote:I don't feel superior to SAHMs but the person in this thread who thinks doing charity work is anything at all like working FT without childcare is seriously delusional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a much better mom when I have my job (which is important and which I love) to go to. I work normal hours, but am a fed with a lot of flexibility. My DH is a doctor who works shifts, so tons of flexibility. At least one of my DH or I have made every single class field trip or book party or performance that any of our 3 kids has ever done. I get 4 hours/day with my kids. I’m a good parent and I’m good at my job. There’s no conflict.

The conflict comes when the kids are young (under 5) if you have a long commute and little flexibility.

Anonymous wrote:I am a much better mom when I have my job (which is important and which I love) to go to. I work normal hours, but am a fed with a lot of flexibility. My DH is a doctor who works shifts, so tons of flexibility. At least one of my DH or I have made every single class field trip or book party or performance that any of our 3 kids has ever done. I get 4 hours/day with my kids. I’m a good parent and I’m good at my job. There’s no conflict.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the only SAHM in each of my kid’s classes. When I go into school, not every time, but every once in awhile, a child comes up to me and says some variation of, “I wish my mom was here.”

I am not the only SAHM mom in my child’s class, but when I do go to the school especially for programs that are held during the day when most parents are at work, I make an extra effort (when I can) to greet the kids whose parents aren’t there. If I know the parents, I make sure to text a photo of their child receiving whatever reward or participating in the program. I know the parents would be there, if they were able. I am a SAHM by choice and I don’t look down on women who WOHM. IMO, it takes a village; I’m listed as the emergency contact for many of my friends who WOHM. I have also picked up their kids during early dismissals. I don’t understand the SAHM vs. WOHM debate. Aren’t we all just trying to make the best decisions for our families?

You sound like a genuinely nice person. I could see your intentions being misinterpreted by a defensive and bitchy wohm, like the ones on this thread, who thinks you’re interfering or trying to one up her. Ex. PP who posted “we also volunteer and see our kids plenty!!”

If you're the original PP here, you're the bitchy one. Don't try to pin that on any WOHMs. You're literally trying to shame them. You're an awful person.

NP Judging from the nutso working moms on here, I think we can safely pin that on them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anyway if you think SAHMs are intellectually incurious or worthless or you think WOHMs don't love their kids or aren't hot enough to bag a provider, you're a certifiable nut job. We're all doing the best we can, and we were all very different people to begin with. The only people I look down on are the ones screaming at each other here.

If you want to see certifiable nut jobs, any of these threads and any Meghan Markle thread are a good place to start. There are some people here who have serious issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a slack (but very well paying) job that allows me to be home when my kids get home and leave when me kids leave for school. I never miss a swim class or ballet class. We have family dinners every night. (Husband works 95% from home)

We also make enough money to have a lot of added luxuries than if I didn’t work.

I enjoy my coworkers and even my boss.

No way I’m giving this up. Life is too good!

I have a flexible job, good pay, love my colleagues and the mission of my work. I also do not want to give any of that up, regardless of what happens in the current climate.

I'm extremely grateful for the blessings in my life, including work. But if something happens and we need to make changes or adapt, we will. And I like being home as well. If that is what ends up being our situation, we'll make the best of it and will enjoy the upsides.

I sincerely pray that everyone is safe, healthy, secure and prosperous going forward, no matter what your situation or what choices you make or need to make. Good luck, everyone!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the only SAHM in each of my kid’s classes. When I go into school, not every time, but every once in awhile, a child comes up to me and says some variation of, “I wish my mom was here.”

I am not the only SAHM mom in my child’s class, but when I do go to the school especially for programs that are held during the day when most parents are at work, I make an extra effort (when I can) to greet the kids whose parents aren’t there. If I know the parents, I make sure to text a photo of their child receiving whatever reward or participating in the program. I know the parents would be there, if they were able. I am a SAHM by choice and I don’t look down on women who WOHM. IMO, it takes a village; I’m listed as the emergency contact for many of my friends who WOHM. I have also picked up their kids during early dismissals. I don’t understand the SAHM vs. WOHM debate. Aren’t we all just trying to make the best decisions for our families?

You sound like a genuinely nice person. I could see your intentions being misinterpreted by a defensive and bitchy wohm, like the ones on this thread, who thinks you’re interfering or trying to one up her. Ex. PP who posted “we also volunteer and see our kids plenty!!”

If you're the original PP here, you're the bitchy one. Don't try to pin that on any WOHMs. You're literally trying to shame them. You're an awful person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the only SAHM in each of my kid’s classes. When I go into school, not every time, but every once in awhile, a child comes up to me and says some variation of, “I wish my mom was here.”

I am not the only SAHM mom in my child’s class, but when I do go to the school especially for programs that are held during the day when most parents are at work, I make an extra effort (when I can) to greet the kids whose parents aren’t there. If I know the parents, I make sure to text a photo of their child receiving whatever reward or participating in the program. I know the parents would be there, if they were able. I am a SAHM by choice and I don’t look down on women who WOHM. IMO, it takes a village; I’m listed as the emergency contact for many of my friends who WOHM. I have also picked up their kids during early dismissals. I don’t understand the SAHM vs. WOHM debate. Aren’t we all just trying to make the best decisions for our families?

You sound like a genuinely nice person. I could see your intentions being misinterpreted by a defensive and bitchy wohm, like the ones on this thread, who thinks you’re interfering or trying to one up her. Ex. PP who posted “we also volunteer and see our kids plenty!!”

If you're the original PP here, you're the bitchy one. Don't try to pin that on any WOHMs. You're literally trying to shame them. You're an awful person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the only SAHM in each of my kid’s classes. When I go into school, not every time, but every once in awhile, a child comes up to me and says some variation of, “I wish my mom was here.”

I am not the only SAHM mom in my child’s class, but when I do go to the school especially for programs that are held during the day when most parents are at work, I make an extra effort (when I can) to greet the kids whose parents aren’t there. If I know the parents, I make sure to text a photo of their child receiving whatever reward or participating in the program. I know the parents would be there, if they were able. I am a SAHM by choice and I don’t look down on women who WOHM. IMO, it takes a village; I’m listed as the emergency contact for many of my friends who WOHM. I have also picked up their kids during early dismissals. I don’t understand the SAHM vs. WOHM debate. Aren’t we all just trying to make the best decisions for our families?

You sound like a genuinely nice person. I could see your intentions being misinterpreted by a defensive and bitchy wohm, like the ones on this thread, who thinks you’re interfering or trying to one up her. Ex. PP who posted “we also volunteer and see our kids plenty!!”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are middle grounds here. I work during school hours & early in the morning. It actually adds up to 40 hours, but I get to pick up my daughter. I realize I’m fortunate. Everyone should do what works for their specific family!!

+ 100. I am similar and feel like we should spend our time forcing companies to allow these kind of flexible roles (and to extend maternity and paternity leaves). It would be a lot more productive these tired SAHM vs. WOHM debates.

In my mind, there is no question that it’s best for babies and toddlers to spend the majority of their waking hours with a parent or grandparent. On the other hand, it shouldn’t require sacrificing one’s career (and ambition and mental capabilities) to do so.

Just stop with this nonsense.

Your extreme guilt is preventing you from admitting the obvious.

Your ignorance is preventing you from understanding that I actually did stay home with my two kids...