On a lighter note: I had mine at 45. When she asks me about HS things, I think, hmmm 45 years ago I was in HS? What did we do back then? As if I can remember ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes 41 is too old to have a baby if you are actually thinking about the child and not your own selfish desires. You'll be nearly 60 when that child reaches adulthood. You made the choice to put off having children for whatever reasons (career, traveling, enjoying your life, whatever) and by having a child at 41 you deny your own child that choice. Like it or not, if you have a kid that late, you are dooming them to have to take your care into consideration when they make life choices they should be able to make freely.

What's wrong with a young adult having a parent in their late 50s? Gazillions of kids have had fathers that age and older. Isn't that what you are really revealing - your sexism? Your double standard?

41 + 20 = 61

PP was the one who said "nearly 60." She was clearly indicating that reaching adulthood in her mind meant age 18. Others think of it as 21. But I guess you just pulled 20 out of your ass, right, oh math genius?

Wait until your child is 20. You will still be supporting him. Math genius -- hit a nerve did I?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

had my 2nd @ 40 yes too old

Then you should have kept your legs closed, PP.

I'm completely disagreeing with you.

- 50 with a 12 and 8 yo

This thread is so old that OP could have a toddler by now.

40's are not too old for a child. I had my first and only at 43 and it's been just fine. We are more financially stable and more emotionally mature than the younger mothers I see. Frankly, I think I am a better parent because of my age and experience.

I'm also in better physical shape that most women in their twenties, too, so all that stuff about not having enough energy is nonsense. And I'm not going to be dead or infirm by the time my child graduates from college - my grandmothers both lived nearly to 100 and were independent and active the entire time.

So no, it's not too old.

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

had my 2nd @ 40 yes too old

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

had my second at 42

not too old, OP

Plus, as an "older" parent, we have a great home, can travel, and spend more time with our kids. My husband is retiring in 5 years. I'm a teacher. So I'm home all summer long with my kids.

I love how people think it's too old.

not so

We can give them so much more now than we could had we had children sooner.

It's all good. My kids love the time with us.

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I ultimately chose not to because my marriage has been on the rocks. I regret not having more children and I regret my situation and I believe I made the best choice given the circumstances. I am now 43 and cannot imagine having even more responsibilities than I already do. However, if my marriage were solid and my spouse employed and mentally stable I would have had another.

In my next life I will start having children at age 25 and I will have 4 of them. I will also pick someone to partner with based on who they are and not who they have the potential to be.

If you want a child, and are healthy enough I would stop bc immediately. My friend was in a bad marriage and found out he was cheating again. She put her needs first, got pregnant and left him a year later. She is very happy today with her 2 kids, and new husband. He is a great dad, and has one child from his ex. Even if you didn't find a great partner, your kids are for life and will always be there just like your grand-kids. Men on the other hand are not as reliable and too many women let them rule their lives.

This is one of the most selfish lines of thought I've ever read on DCUM and that is saying a lot.

I agree! What was he thinking, cheating on his wife and the mother of his child??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I ultimately chose not to because my marriage has been on the rocks. I regret not having more children and I regret my situation and I believe I made the best choice given the circumstances. I am now 43 and cannot imagine having even more responsibilities than I already do. However, if my marriage were solid and my spouse employed and mentally stable I would have had another.

In my next life I will start having children at age 25 and I will have 4 of them. I will also pick someone to partner with based on who they are and not who they have the potential to be.

If you want a child, and are healthy enough I would stop bc immediately. My friend was in a bad marriage and found out he was cheating again. She put her needs first, got pregnant and left him a year later. She is very happy today with her 2 kids, and new husband. He is a great dad, and has one child from his ex. Even if you didn't find a great partner, your kids are for life and will always be there just like your grand-kids. Men on the other hand are not as reliable and too many women let them rule their lives.

This is one of the most selfish lines of thought I've ever read on DCUM and that is saying a lot.

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I ultimately chose not to because my marriage has been on the rocks. I regret not having more children and I regret my situation and I believe I made the best choice given the circumstances. I am now 43 and cannot imagine having even more responsibilities than I already do. However, if my marriage were solid and my spouse employed and mentally stable I would have had another.

In my next life I will start having children at age 25 and I will have 4 of them. I will also pick someone to partner with based on who they are and not who they have the potential to be.

If you want a child, and are healthy enough I would stop bc immediately. My friend was in a bad marriage and found out he was cheating again. She put her needs first, got pregnant and left him a year later. She is very happy today with her 2 kids, and new husband. He is a great dad, and has one child from his ex. Even if you didn't find a great partner, your kids are for life and will always be there just like your grand-kids. Men on the other hand are not as reliable and too many women let them rule their lives.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I ultimately chose not to because my marriage has been on the rocks. I regret not having more children and I regret my situation and I believe I made the best choice given the circumstances. I am now 43 and cannot imagine having even more responsibilities than I already do. However, if my marriage were solid and my spouse employed and mentally stable I would have had another.

In my next life I will start having children at age 25 and I will have 4 of them. I will also pick someone to partner with based on who they are and not who they have the potential to be.

Sorry to hear about your marriage troubles. How may children do you have and what age(s) are they?
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and have made a logical decision not to pursue a baby.

OP here. I ultimately chose not to because my marriage has been on the rocks. I regret not having more children and I regret my situation and I believe I made the best choice given the circumstances. I am now 43 and cannot imagine having even more responsibilities than I already do. However, if my marriage were solid and my spouse employed and mentally stable I would have had another.

In my next life I will start having children at age 25 and I will have 4 of them. I will also pick someone to partner with based on who they are and not who they have the potential to be.

You should consult your ob/gyn, the answer depends on your health. I decided to stop because the risk of high blood pressure is too high for me and did not want to have a premature baby.