Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 14:32     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Learned my Dartmouth hates our high school
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 14:32     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:Surprised by:
1) how much time is required to brainstorm, write, edit, rewrite essays to make them strong. Kid started over the summer but felt like essay writing never ends. Some schools have 1 and some have 5! Needed time to research majors, mission, culture etc. to show fit.
2) Activity list. How you need to utilize every character to fully explain involvement and impact of each EC. Very little space to communicate multi year commitments. It was like a game but was strong in the end.
3) How stressful senior year fall semester was. Everyone talks about junior year, but managing advanced courses to get top q1 grades while churning out strong essays and playing sports/doing EC is really hard and stressful. Cut back on whatever you can to maintain sanity.
4) learning that admissions are unpredictable. We know kids deferred from Clemson but admitted to a t20.
5) i think essays really matter. My kid spent equal time on essays for high reaches, targets, and likely schools. They got in early to an ivy and into several reach, targets and oos flagships with merit. Kid goes to a competitive private with many amazing kids, has great but not highest gpa/test scores- and I think essays made the difference -Specifically ability to reflect on one's experience. I think teacher recs also help.
6) seeing how many free resources are available. Blogs, podcasts, high school counselor and data, etc. Great free online tips on writing supplemental essays. I read, listened, and learned.
7) there is a lot of fear driven by unpredictability and lack of understanding and control over institutional priorities. Control what you can and dont have a dream school. Raising a good kid, working hard for good grades, finding meaningful activities. Help them discover genuine interests where they can thrive. There are no guarantees, but in the end, i believe well adjusted and hard working kids will do well in life! We discouraged 'dream or petfect' schools and set pragmatic expectations.


surprised your competitive private was okay with all the applications after an ivy EA
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 13:28     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:Surprised by:
1) how much time is required to brainstorm, write, edit, rewrite essays to make them strong. Kid started over the summer but felt like essay writing never ends. Some schools have 1 and some have 5! Needed time to research majors, mission, culture etc. to show fit.
2) Activity list. How you need to utilize every character to fully explain involvement and impact of each EC. Very little space to communicate multi year commitments. It was like a game but was strong in the end.
3) How stressful senior year fall semester was. Everyone talks about junior year, but managing advanced courses to get top q1 grades while churning out strong essays and playing sports/doing EC is really hard and stressful. Cut back on whatever you can to maintain sanity.
4) learning that admissions are unpredictable. We know kids deferred from Clemson but admitted to a t20.
5) i think essays really matter. My kid spent equal time on essays for high reaches, targets, and likely schools. They got in early to an ivy and into several reach, targets and oos flagships with merit. Kid goes to a competitive private with many amazing kids, has great but not highest gpa/test scores- and I think essays made the difference -Specifically ability to reflect on one's experience. I think teacher recs also help.
6) seeing how many free resources are available. Blogs, podcasts, high school counselor and data, etc. Great free online tips on writing supplemental essays. I read, listened, and learned.
7) there is a lot of fear driven by unpredictability and lack of understanding and control over institutional priorities. Control what you can and dont have a dream school. Raising a good kid, working hard for good grades, finding meaningful activities. Help them discover genuine interests where they can thrive. There are no guarantees, but in the end, i believe well adjusted and hard working kids will do well in life! We discouraged 'dream or petfect' schools and set pragmatic expectations.


Great advice. I echo it entirely
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 13:23     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How much time you’ll waste trying it understand a process that is largely unknowable as we won’t ever be able to predict institutional priorities.


+100
Just reading the early comments I am see many that show people still didn't learn but many learned a great deal.

Key take aways:

At top schools peak stats only get you onto the playing field. Once you cross the bar they are not a differentiator.

All things being equal a hooked kid has an advantage over an unhooked kid. The hooked kid has crossed the bar for #1 above just like the "higher Stats" kid.

Academic contests are just an EC unless you place well. If you reach the peak they are great but if you don't they matter less than many believe because they don't create "breadth" of excellence.

The story matters. Why your kid is an interesting person to have on campus really matters when there are thousands of similar high performing kids to choose from.

Athletic recruits aren't lesser academics at top schools. Many of them have stats which go toe to toe with anyone though there are some who are given more leeway than a NARP (loved that term) applicant.

Institutional priorities are the greatest determinant and the greatest known unknowable at top schools. They have a huge pool of qualified candidates to choose from and they pick what they want.

Large publics are among the best Engineering/CS schools

Elite SLACs provide the best undergraduate education outside of Engineering/CS

The T10 are believed by many to provide the best of both of the above.

You can get a great education at any school in the T200 so prioritize fit over 'Prestige' unless you are focused on a few specific careers such as IB/MBB.

Some people are far too focused on what they social circle will say if a kid doesn't attend the 'right school'. These people need to get a grip as their kids mental health is more important than what their friends think.



You forgot an adjective: fake, fake friends think
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 13:19     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Surprised by:
1) how much time is required to brainstorm, write, edit, rewrite essays to make them strong. Kid started over the summer but felt like essay writing never ends. Some schools have 1 and some have 5! Needed time to research majors, mission, culture etc. to show fit.
2) Activity list. How you need to utilize every character to fully explain involvement and impact of each EC. Very little space to communicate multi year commitments. It was like a game but was strong in the end.
3) How stressful senior year fall semester was. Everyone talks about junior year, but managing advanced courses to get top q1 grades while churning out strong essays and playing sports/doing EC is really hard and stressful. Cut back on whatever you can to maintain sanity.
4) learning that admissions are unpredictable. We know kids deferred from Clemson but admitted to a t20.
5) i think essays really matter. My kid spent equal time on essays for high reaches, targets, and likely schools. They got in early to an ivy and into several reach, targets and oos flagships with merit. Kid goes to a competitive private with many amazing kids, has great but not highest gpa/test scores- and I think essays made the difference -Specifically ability to reflect on one's experience. I think teacher recs also help.
6) seeing how many free resources are available. Blogs, podcasts, high school counselor and data, etc. Great free online tips on writing supplemental essays. I read, listened, and learned.
7) there is a lot of fear driven by unpredictability and lack of understanding and control over institutional priorities. Control what you can and dont have a dream school. Raising a good kid, working hard for good grades, finding meaningful activities. Help them discover genuine interests where they can thrive. There are no guarantees, but in the end, i believe well adjusted and hard working kids will do well in life! We discouraged 'dream or petfect' schools and set pragmatic expectations.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 13:17     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SAT really doesn’t matter so much anymore.


Wrong. More schools going back to test required. Ohio State just announced.


Oh wow Ohio State!!! What will we ever do now! <Sarcasm>
90%+ schools still TO.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 13:13     Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The idea of perfect fit is utter BS...most kids could be happy at many different places - parents are just putting more pressure on kids to subscribe to some concept of the perfect fit when its not realistic.


And parents should remember this also applies to DC’s future spouse!


Indeed.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 13:12     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:That my kid, who applied as a normal student in Dec for a STEM PhD would have plans completely trashed by this sh!th0le of an administration in January.

The scientific brain drain and decades-long lingering health and economic effects mean she'll now try and emigrate to another country to study - hopefully before they shut the borders to keep white flight in check.

The offers are being rescinded left and right at the moment. I'm not sure how aware the public truly is. Hoping the veteran's show up in force tomorrow and teachers start walking out in masse soon.


Yes. Public is not as aware as needs to be.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 13:10     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:Surprising ? How “state school” has been rebranded to “public FLAGSHIP dammit” in just 3-4 years’ time.

Look, Beth, we all knew your kid was never going to apply, let alone attend, UW-Stevens Point. Just say your kid is applying to “several state schools” and chose “Wisconsin.”

FLAGSHIP dammit is the new North Bethesda North Potomac Hill East


Yep, if you know MoCo you'll get this. Apparently Pitt is a flagship these days. City flagship vs rural flagship (Penn State).
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 12:53     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What has surprised you - that you were clueless about?

Parents continue to overestimate the strength of their student's application. Happens every year. It's a travesty of justice!!


Yep. There are a lot of "high stats" kids out there. You better have something else to offer EC wise.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 12:25     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:No, you DO NOT need to apply to 15-20 schools, what a waste of time and money. 2-3 reaches, 2-3 targets, and 2 safetys your kid would be happy attending. No more needed if you are being realistic about chances


Agreed, 100%. Aim for a school you like. Do not aim for twenty schools just because they have prestige
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 11:54     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

My advice is be wary of advice from dcum. It seems to have a lot of people (or at least a couple frequent posters) who don’t know very much about higher education and are obsessed with fine degrees of ranking difference that have no meaning in hiring decisions or grad school admissions. Unless your kid is is looking for IB or other very niche careers where being at a target school really matters, find schools you can afford, that are strong in what your kid wants to study (with room for change), and that seem to have an atmosphere where they can thrive. And make sure at least 2, maybe 3, on your list are schools they are almost assured to get accepted to. There are many great schools in the U.S. with many great outcomes. I just hired a 30 year old with two degrees from Duke to be my admin assistant’s assistant. Schools are not golden tickets. Kids who are bright and work hard will do well. My kids go to private colleges because they were good fits and we can afford them. But they would thrive at our state flagship too and I would be very proud of them to attend many kinds of schools.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 11:30     Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:What has surprised you - that you were clueless about?

Parents continue to overestimate the strength of their student's application. Happens every year. It's a travesty of justice!!
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 11:10     Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:That it matters how much your high school has a recent history of being “liked” by a college. No matter if the stats and the application are great, if the college doesn’t traditionally take many or any from your school, it is that much harder. Not a deal breaker but helps to set expectations


OMG we can't believe HOW true this is. I know this site told everyone this but this is a universal truth.
And there is a way to tell if your high school is "liked" (did the college come to the school in the fall, does the college admit kids from the high school regularly, including last year, in early AND RD, etc). If a college doesn't do either, it's extremely unlikely and an uphill battle unless you have something else going for you (geography, FGLI etc.).
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2025 11:10     Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process

Anonymous wrote:That it matters how much your high school has a recent history of being “liked” by a college. No matter if the stats and the application are great, if the college doesn’t traditionally take many or any from your school, it is that much harder. Not a deal breaker but helps to set expectations



+1 my biggest piece of advice to students/parents is to look carefully at Naviance (or equivalent) to check historical admissions data and also how many from your school are applying that year. Helps guide strategy and set expectations. To give just one example, Swat does not like our school for some reason. Students have mostly stopped applying as a result.