Anonymous wrote:Hi is anyone with a kid at UVA following the parent posts on FB? I’m shocked that parents use terms like “top tier” frat and how they can’t believe their kid did not get into a top frat. It reminds me of when I was in high school 30 years ago and there were the popular kids. Anyway I just want to tell them that my kid who never had many friends is loving rush and when I asked him about these top tier frats his response is that the top tier is the one that’s right for you.

UVA rush is brutal. I graduated there almost 28 years ago and it still is crystal clear in my mind. Had a great experience over all but the sorority mean girl mentally is off the charts.

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Anonymous wrote:Girls drop mid week because the algorithm is set up to push girls into the unpopular houses to save the chapters. Girls aren’t falling for it. They want to rush all week and have a choice to make at the end. They’re told to find the right fit until they’re down to the one house the university is trying to save and then they’re told to just take what you get and don’t complain. Sounds like fun?

This is a really stupid statement,

+1
It’s asinine.
What the PP (who thinks she has cracked the code) is missing is that prior to changing the algorithm to “push the girls” toward considering houses they may not have wanted prior to rush week, sororities used to be able to invite any number they wanted to each round. And so all the girls would think they were destined to be a DDD so they’d keep going back there and drop other groups so that they could go back every night. Then the last night, girls who were sure they were going to get a DDD bid were left without a bid at all.
The algorithm just introduces the ones who were never going to be members of DDD to that reality much sooner so that they can have time to adjust their expectations and find another group they like before the last night of rush.
There’s no great way to make everyone happy. But unlike PP’s fantasyland scenario, the reality is many girls never would have had that “end of week” choice. The math doesn’t math on that.
This is like thinking the star football player is going to ask you to the prom, so you turn down invitations from the nice valedictorian, the cool soccer goalie, and the hilarious drama dude when they ask you…only to find out the week of prom that star football player is going with head cheerleader and not you. Guess what? The truth is he was never going to ask you. He was always going with head cheerleader. And yeah, maybe it would have hurt a little if you had found that out three weeks ago, but wouldn’t you rather have understood that reality sooner so that you had considered those other options when you had the chance? But now it’s too late. You’re home crying on prom night.

So the star QB was always going to prom with the head cheerleader = the "top" sororities already know who they're going to invite before rush even starts?

That’s right. Welcome to reality.

So why even have the dog and pony show of rush? It's more fun when there are crying girls at the end?

Exactly. And Yes. Because Greek life is all about perpetuating social hierarchy. I’m not being sarcastic.

DP. For sure. And parents, if your daughter is at the top of the social hierarchy at her NoVa high school, this will not matter whatsoever in the UVA Greek system.

Being from NOVA is a huge strike against getting into top tier, in fact. Absolutely works against you.

Forgive my ignorance, but why does that work against you?

I’m a few decades past learning this first hand, but if probably hasn’t changed that much (considering the three top-tiers are exactly the same). The NoVa kids are so plentiful, nothing stands out about them. They’re all kind of lumped together and people get tired of hearing that you’re yet another kid from Northern Virginia. I guess certain private school girls from NoVa might have an edge, but in general, these super wealthy out-of-state girls have no interest whatsoever in knowing the average suburban girl from TJ or Robinson or whatever. Different universes.

Exactly this. There's nothing exotic or elite or even interesting about your basic girl from FCPS or LCPS or Alexandria, APS or PW County.

They do not want exotic. They want conformity.

Well, to be fair, when was the last time
you went out and sought to join a group that had nothing in common?
It seems weird to expect women to seek to join a sorority of women who are UN-like them.

Compatibility and conformity are two different things.

Agree. But perception is reality and I think sororities are often accused of courting conformity when the nature of girls on pacts tends to self impose this.
Even “non-sorority types” conjur an image of conformity. Are the group of teen girls wearing black retro metal-band tees and sporting various brightly-dyed hair colors and and nose rings who hang out together at the local high school conforming in the way they dress alike? Or are they grouping themselves tigether based on interests and compatibility. I think the two ideas are often cousins.

DP. I don’t know, I think there’s a difference between conforming with your peer group, and conforming with some notion of how a young women needs to present herself in order to mix with the right fraternity. (And therefore bag the right kind of mate.) They’re both conforming, but one is vying for the ultimate evolutionary prize.

But if that’s your view of sorority women and their goals in 2024, I think that’s a you-issue. Not sure there is anyone anything can say to change your mind.

But please don’t try to say that you “support all women” with that insulting viewpoint.

If I have to support this system to be able to “support all women,” the you’re right, I guess I don’t.

Such a sad, pathetic, and closed-minded human.

Lady, I went through rush at UVA. I was open-minded about it and then I saw it for what it was.

Hahaha same. Sounds like not much has changed at all. Both my rooommate and I ended up dropping out of rush for different reasons - me because I was squicked out by the over-the-top performative 'sisterhood' at some of the houses where I was invited back for prefs (none of which actually felt like a fit for me), and my roommate because she was black-balled at the only house she wanted (Theta) because she made the apparently unforgivable faux pas of announcing where other sorority women could hear her (at Coupe's) that she was only considering them - she was 100% their type (money, connections, intelligence) so it seemed really vindictive. Similarly, I remember a suitemate sobbing when she was cut from KD after house tours, but then plastering on a smile to accept her bid from XO the next day...in hindsight, I probably would have had much more success and a better experience overall had I waited to rush as a second year - most first years are just so unprepared to make a good decision because they're motivated only by 'wanting to be wanted'.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question- several references to resumes in this thread. Do girls have to submit that prior to rush? What do they put on- high school they went to? Town from? They they were a lifeguard or camp counselor in summer? I am truly asking as I must be really out of look as never heard of first years having resumes.

Yes it’s often called a social resume.
Or sorority resume. Or sometimes it’s just an info sheet. SEC and some other schools like almost all Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, and Missouri schools also request 2-4 photos —at least one full length and a headshot— these are used to identify you and during the week before rush, some chapters put the photos of the girls they are focused on recruiting into a slide show and memorize your name and random facts about you from your resume so that they’ll know what to talk to you about.
A rush resume might have a small photo of you on it, your high school, gpa/SAT/ACT, list of ECs, philanthropy involvement, leadership activities, camps attended, church or religious affiliation, parents names and Greek affiliations (though most have done away with preferential policies for legacies, but it’s still a good idea to include because it can demonstrate that your parents are likely to be emotionally and financial supportive of your decision to join Greek life), intended major, name of your dorm (if known), and any links to social media accounts like insta or Snapchat.

Why do they need your parents’ names, and do girls have to give them access to their social media? Honestly, this should be banned by the NPC.

DP. They can google the parents to get a sense for how wealthy or connected you are. But IME, they don’t actually get around to it, or it doesn’t really matter. I know several girls from wealthy or powerful parents with perfect GPAs and the “right” look who got nothing but the catch-all houses. It’s mostly about who you know in the house. If no one knows you when your photo pops up on the screen, no one lobbies for you. You need at least a couple girls shouting “we have the have her!” When your photo is up.

They don’t need access to your social media but they might look at any public posts. They want you to look fun but never actually have a drink on your hand. Bonus points for beach houses or tropical travel.

Social media has just made this toxic organization worse. Look at the social media account of the houses and they all post exactly the same thing. The same poses at the same beach, restaurants etc.

The resume is basically everything on your college application except for your transcript. They are supposedly going after the high GPAs and test scores in the first round but again, that hasn’t been the experience I’ve witnessed. The famously mean girl from high school got “the best” house because she worked with some of the older girls over the summer. Those same girls prevented two others from getting a bid because they argued in high school. They actually told them in advance “you’re not getting ABC house” The girl who graduated with a 2.0 got a top house because of her mother calling in favors.

NPC won’t make any sensible or humane changes. The adult women who participate are just as numb and toxic as the whole rush concept. They are perfectly fine with crying girls who help enforce the hierarchy.

Anonymous wrote:UVA parent here. I’m surprised that no one has mentioned yet that UVA frats are one of the main sources of alcohol for students, particularly freshmen. Kids who can get into frat parties have access to free flowing beer. My DD had lots of stories of drunk kids out of control, and she and her friends had to escort a number of girls safely back to the dorm who were drunk. I visited on a Saturday and the streets with frat houses were littered with red plastic cups. This goes on every weekend.

Same as it ever was! Wahoowa

Anonymous wrote:Get used to it. There are always people who won’t say publicly but they think of the Greek houses in tiers. I believe there’s a website that even ranks them by school.

From my uva days, the top sororities were kkg, tri delt, theta, and pi phi. Doubt it’s changed much. Fraternities had a similar pecking order.

The top tier are a lot like the Alpha Betas from Animal House.

Anonymous wrote:UVA parent here. I’m surprised that no one has mentioned yet that college frats are one of the main sources of alcohol for students, particularly freshmen. Kids who can get into frat parties have access to free flowing beer. My DD had lots of stories of drunk kids out of control, and she and her friends had to escort a number of girls safely back to the dorm who were drunk. I visited on a Saturday and the streets with frat houses were littered with red plastic cups. This goes on every weekend.

Fixed it! These are pretty standard college experiences. Luckily, there's lots of other things to do in college, so you can opt out of the party scene if you want to.

UVA parent here. I’m surprised that no one has mentioned yet that UVA frats are one of the main sources of alcohol for students, particularly freshmen. Kids who can get into frat parties have access to free flowing beer. My DD had lots of stories of drunk kids out of control, and she and her friends had to escort a number of girls safely back to the dorm who were drunk. I visited on a Saturday and the streets with frat houses were littered with red plastic cups. This goes on every weekend.

MVHS had two sororities in the ‘80s. Alpha and Omega. Good times

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls drop mid week because the algorithm is set up to push girls into the unpopular houses to save the chapters. Girls aren’t falling for it. They want to rush all week and have a choice to make at the end. They’re told to find the right fit until they’re down to the one house the university is trying to save and then they’re told to just take what you get and don’t complain. Sounds like fun?

This is a really stupid statement,

+1
It’s asinine.
What the PP (who thinks she has cracked the code) is missing is that prior to changing the algorithm to “push the girls” toward considering houses they may not have wanted prior to rush week, sororities used to be able to invite any number they wanted to each round. And so all the girls would think they were destined to be a DDD so they’d keep going back there and drop other groups so that they could go back every night. Then the last night, girls who were sure they were going to get a DDD bid were left without a bid at all.
The algorithm just introduces the ones who were never going to be members of DDD to that reality much sooner so that they can have time to adjust their expectations and find another group they like before the last night of rush.
There’s no great way to make everyone happy. But unlike PP’s fantasyland scenario, the reality is many girls never would have had that “end of week” choice. The math doesn’t math on that.
This is like thinking the star football player is going to ask you to the prom, so you turn down invitations from the nice valedictorian, the cool soccer goalie, and the hilarious drama dude when they ask you…only to find out the week of prom that star football player is going with head cheerleader and not you. Guess what? The truth is he was never going to ask you. He was always going with head cheerleader. And yeah, maybe it would have hurt a little if you had found that out three weeks ago, but wouldn’t you rather have understood that reality sooner so that you had considered those other options when you had the chance? But now it’s too late. You’re home crying on prom night.

Except if the star football player wants to go to prom with the head cheerleader, he just asks the head cheerleader. The high school doesn’t make him go through this farcical rigmarole of speed dating the class president, the theater kid, the dance team captain, the band geek, and the debate whiz first. “So you’re saying there’s a chance” only makes it harder on girls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls drop mid week because the algorithm is set up to push girls into the unpopular houses to save the chapters. Girls aren’t falling for it. They want to rush all week and have a choice to make at the end. They’re told to find the right fit until they’re down to the one house the university is trying to save and then they’re told to just take what you get and don’t complain. Sounds like fun?

This is a really stupid statement,

+1
It’s asinine.
What the PP (who thinks she has cracked the code) is missing is that prior to changing the algorithm to “push the girls” toward considering houses they may not have wanted prior to rush week, sororities used to be able to invite any number they wanted to each round. And so all the girls would think they were destined to be a DDD so they’d keep going back there and drop other groups so that they could go back every night. Then the last night, girls who were sure they were going to get a DDD bid were left without a bid at all.
The algorithm just introduces the ones who were never going to be members of DDD to that reality much sooner so that they can have time to adjust their expectations and find another group they like before the last night of rush.
There’s no great way to make everyone happy. But unlike PP’s fantasyland scenario, the reality is many girls never would have had that “end of week” choice. The math doesn’t math on that.
This is like thinking the star football player is going to ask you to the prom, so you turn down invitations from the nice valedictorian, the cool soccer goalie, and the hilarious drama dude when they ask you…only to find out the week of prom that star football player is going with head cheerleader and not you. Guess what? The truth is he was never going to ask you. He was always going with head cheerleader. And yeah, maybe it would have hurt a little if you had found that out three weeks ago, but wouldn’t you rather have understood that reality sooner so that you had considered those other options when you had the chance? But now it’s too late. You’re home crying on prom night.

So the star QB was always going to prom with the head cheerleader = the "top" sororities already know who they're going to invite before rush even starts?

That’s right. Welcome to reality.

So why even have the dog and pony show of rush? It's more fun when there are crying girls at the end?

Or maybe teach your crying daughters that there are amazing women in all chapters and a positive and fun experience to be had no matter what letters she ends up wearing?
I don’t know. I mean the most “sought after” houses can only take the max number they are allowed. Did you let your kid only apply to Harvard? Or did you tell her there are lots of schools out there where she can be happy and get a good education?
Just makes no sense that girls make up their minds that they need to be in one specific sorority in order to be happy. The crying drama about it is a bit much.

All of that is true, of course, but we're talking about teenagers here. 18yo young women still want to fit in with the "cool crowd" and if the "cool crowd" rejects you, it's very painful.

Exactly. Most of these kids are just three months out of high school. Some are still 17. Imagine high school seniors creating social groups and doing the same thing. It would be so obviously disturbing, it wouldn’t continue. Our school doesn’t even do valedictorian after a couple suicides.

My FCPS high school had a sorority - in the late 80s/early 90s it had been around for 30 years. You were invited to pledge after your freshman or sophomore year in the summer. There was a big winter formal Dec 23 at a hotel. Meetings and parties throughout the year. So yeah, I can imagine.

Not at all the same thing or same process. And 30-40 years ago.

You’re right - it was worse. You had all the social engineering of getting picked to pledge and then we were HAZED hard during pledging vs college sororities where we were treated like princesses while we pledged!

And yes — it was MVHS! Along with West Potomac (previously Fort Hunt).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question- several references to resumes in this thread. Do girls have to submit that prior to rush? What do they put on- high school they went to? Town from? They they were a lifeguard or camp counselor in summer? I am truly asking as I must be really out of look as never heard of first years having resumes.

Yes it’s often called a social resume.
Or sorority resume. Or sometimes it’s just an info sheet. SEC and some other schools like almost all Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, and Missouri schools also request 2-4 photos —at least one full length and a headshot— these are used to identify you and during the week before rush, some chapters put the photos of the girls they are focused on recruiting into a slide show and memorize your name and random facts about you from your resume so that they’ll know what to talk to you about.
A rush resume might have a small photo of you on it, your high school, gpa/SAT/ACT, list of ECs, philanthropy involvement, leadership activities, camps attended, church or religious affiliation, parents names and Greek affiliations (though most have done away with preferential policies for legacies, but it’s still a good idea to include because it can demonstrate that your parents are likely to be emotionally and financial supportive of your decision to join Greek life), intended major, name of your dorm (if known), and any links to social media accounts like insta or Snapchat.

Why do they need your parents’ names, and do girls have to give them access to their social media? Honestly, this should be banned by the NPC.

Anonymous wrote:Question- several references to resumes in this thread. Do girls have to submit that prior to rush? What do they put on- high school they went to? Town from? They they were a lifeguard or camp counselor in summer? I am truly asking as I must be really out of look as never heard of first years having resumes.

Yes it’s often called a social resume.
Or sorority resume. Or sometimes it’s just an info sheet. SEC and some other schools like almost all Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, and Missouri schools also request 2-4 photos —at least one full length and a headshot— these are used to identify you and during the week before rush, some chapters put the photos of the girls they are focused on recruiting into a slide show and memorize your name and random facts about you from your resume so that they’ll know what to talk to you about.
A rush resume might have a small photo of you on it, your high school, gpa/SAT/ACT, list of ECs, philanthropy involvement, leadership activities, camps attended, church or religious affiliation, parents names and Greek affiliations (though most have done away with preferential policies for legacies, but it’s still a good idea to include because it can demonstrate that your parents are likely to be emotionally and financial supportive of your decision to join Greek life), intended major, name of your dorm (if known), and any links to social media accounts like insta or Snapchat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls drop mid week because the algorithm is set up to push girls into the unpopular houses to save the chapters. Girls aren’t falling for it. They want to rush all week and have a choice to make at the end. They’re told to find the right fit until they’re down to the one house the university is trying to save and then they’re told to just take what you get and don’t complain. Sounds like fun?

This is a really stupid statement,

+1
It’s asinine.
What the PP (who thinks she has cracked the code) is missing is that prior to changing the algorithm to “push the girls” toward considering houses they may not have wanted prior to rush week, sororities used to be able to invite any number they wanted to each round. And so all the girls would think they were destined to be a DDD so they’d keep going back there and drop other groups so that they could go back every night. Then the last night, girls who were sure they were going to get a DDD bid were left without a bid at all.
The algorithm just introduces the ones who were never going to be members of DDD to that reality much sooner so that they can have time to adjust their expectations and find another group they like before the last night of rush.
There’s no great way to make everyone happy. But unlike PP’s fantasyland scenario, the reality is many girls never would have had that “end of week” choice. The math doesn’t math on that.
This is like thinking the star football player is going to ask you to the prom, so you turn down invitations from the nice valedictorian, the cool soccer goalie, and the hilarious drama dude when they ask you…only to find out the week of prom that star football player is going with head cheerleader and not you. Guess what? The truth is he was never going to ask you. He was always going with head cheerleader. And yeah, maybe it would have hurt a little if you had found that out three weeks ago, but wouldn’t you rather have understood that reality sooner so that you had considered those other options when you had the chance? But now it’s too late. You’re home crying on prom night.

So the star QB was always going to prom with the head cheerleader = the "top" sororities already know who they're going to invite before rush even starts?

That’s right. Welcome to reality.

So why even have the dog and pony show of rush? It's more fun when there are crying girls at the end?

Or maybe teach your crying daughters that there are amazing women in all chapters and a positive and fun experience to be had no matter what letters she ends up wearing?
I don’t know. I mean the most “sought after” houses can only take the max number they are allowed. Did you let your kid only apply to Harvard? Or did you tell her there are lots of schools out there where she can be happy and get a good education?
Just makes no sense that girls make up their minds that they need to be in one specific sorority in order to be happy. The crying drama about it is a bit much.

All of that is true, of course, but we're talking about teenagers here. 18yo young women still want to fit in with the "cool crowd" and if the "cool crowd" rejects you, it's very painful.

Exactly. Most of these kids are just three months out of high school. Some are still 17. Imagine high school seniors creating social groups and doing the same thing. It would be so obviously disturbing, it wouldn’t continue. Our school doesn’t even do valedictorian after a couple suicides.

My FCPS high school had a sorority - in the late 80s/early 90s it had been around for 30 years. You were invited to pledge after your freshman or sophomore year in the summer. There was a big winter formal Dec 23 at a hotel. Meetings and parties throughout the year. So yeah, I can imagine.

Omg the PUFFS at Chilton!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls drop mid week because the algorithm is set up to push girls into the unpopular houses to save the chapters. Girls aren’t falling for it. They want to rush all week and have a choice to make at the end. They’re told to find the right fit until they’re down to the one house the university is trying to save and then they’re told to just take what you get and don’t complain. Sounds like fun?

This is a really stupid statement,

+1
It’s asinine.
What the PP (who thinks she has cracked the code) is missing is that prior to changing the algorithm to “push the girls” toward considering houses they may not have wanted prior to rush week, sororities used to be able to invite any number they wanted to each round. And so all the girls would think they were destined to be a DDD so they’d keep going back there and drop other groups so that they could go back every night. Then the last night, girls who were sure they were going to get a DDD bid were left without a bid at all.
The algorithm just introduces the ones who were never going to be members of DDD to that reality much sooner so that they can have time to adjust their expectations and find another group they like before the last night of rush.
There’s no great way to make everyone happy. But unlike PP’s fantasyland scenario, the reality is many girls never would have had that “end of week” choice. The math doesn’t math on that.
This is like thinking the star football player is going to ask you to the prom, so you turn down invitations from the nice valedictorian, the cool soccer goalie, and the hilarious drama dude when they ask you…only to find out the week of prom that star football player is going with head cheerleader and not you. Guess what? The truth is he was never going to ask you. He was always going with head cheerleader. And yeah, maybe it would have hurt a little if you had found that out three weeks ago, but wouldn’t you rather have understood that reality sooner so that you had considered those other options when you had the chance? But now it’s too late. You’re home crying on prom night.

So the star QB was always going to prom with the head cheerleader = the "top" sororities already know who they're going to invite before rush even starts?

That’s right. Welcome to reality.

So why even have the dog and pony show of rush? It's more fun when there are crying girls at the end?

Or maybe teach your crying daughters that there are amazing women in all chapters and a positive and fun experience to be had no matter what letters she ends up wearing?
I don’t know. I mean the most “sought after” houses can only take the max number they are allowed. Did you let your kid only apply to Harvard? Or did you tell her there are lots of schools out there where she can be happy and get a good education?
Just makes no sense that girls make up their minds that they need to be in one specific sorority in order to be happy. The crying drama about it is a bit much.

All of that is true, of course, but we're talking about teenagers here. 18yo young women still want to fit in with the "cool crowd" and if the "cool crowd" rejects you, it's very painful.

Exactly. Most of these kids are just three months out of high school. Some are still 17. Imagine high school seniors creating social groups and doing the same thing. It would be so obviously disturbing, it wouldn’t continue. Our school doesn’t even do valedictorian after a couple suicides.

My FCPS high school had a sorority - in the late 80s/early 90s it had been around for 30 years. You were invited to pledge after your freshman or sophomore year in the summer. There was a big winter formal Dec 23 at a hotel. Meetings and parties throughout the year. So yeah, I can imagine.

Not at all the same thing or same process. And 30-40 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls drop mid week because the algorithm is set up to push girls into the unpopular houses to save the chapters. Girls aren’t falling for it. They want to rush all week and have a choice to make at the end. They’re told to find the right fit until they’re down to the one house the university is trying to save and then they’re told to just take what you get and don’t complain. Sounds like fun?

This is a really stupid statement,

+1
It’s asinine.
What the PP (who thinks she has cracked the code) is missing is that prior to changing the algorithm to “push the girls” toward considering houses they may not have wanted prior to rush week, sororities used to be able to invite any number they wanted to each round. And so all the girls would think they were destined to be a DDD so they’d keep going back there and drop other groups so that they could go back every night. Then the last night, girls who were sure they were going to get a DDD bid were left without a bid at all.
The algorithm just introduces the ones who were never going to be members of DDD to that reality much sooner so that they can have time to adjust their expectations and find another group they like before the last night of rush.
There’s no great way to make everyone happy. But unlike PP’s fantasyland scenario, the reality is many girls never would have had that “end of week” choice. The math doesn’t math on that.
This is like thinking the star football player is going to ask you to the prom, so you turn down invitations from the nice valedictorian, the cool soccer goalie, and the hilarious drama dude when they ask you…only to find out the week of prom that star football player is going with head cheerleader and not you. Guess what? The truth is he was never going to ask you. He was always going with head cheerleader. And yeah, maybe it would have hurt a little if you had found that out three weeks ago, but wouldn’t you rather have understood that reality sooner so that you had considered those other options when you had the chance? But now it’s too late. You’re home crying on prom night.

So the star QB was always going to prom with the head cheerleader = the "top" sororities already know who they're going to invite before rush even starts?

That’s right. Welcome to reality.

So why even have the dog and pony show of rush? It's more fun when there are crying girls at the end?

Or maybe teach your crying daughters that there are amazing women in all chapters and a positive and fun experience to be had no matter what letters she ends up wearing?
I don’t know. I mean the most “sought after” houses can only take the max number they are allowed. Did you let your kid only apply to Harvard? Or did you tell her there are lots of schools out there where she can be happy and get a good education?
Just makes no sense that girls make up their minds that they need to be in one specific sorority in order to be happy. The crying drama about it is a bit much.

All of that is true, of course, but we're talking about teenagers here. 18yo young women still want to fit in with the "cool crowd" and if the "cool crowd" rejects you, it's very painful.

Exactly. Most of these kids are just three months out of high school. Some are still 17. Imagine high school seniors creating social groups and doing the same thing. It would be so obviously disturbing, it wouldn’t continue. Our school doesn’t even do valedictorian after a couple suicides.

My FCPS high school had a sorority - in the late 80s/early 90s it had been around for 30 years. You were invited to pledge after your freshman or sophomore year in the summer. There was a big winter formal Dec 23 at a hotel. Meetings and parties throughout the year. So yeah, I can imagine.

Which high school?

Ha, Mount Vernon!