Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 10:24     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I made a big, lovely dinner. We spent hundreds on groceries.

ILs are now in the kitchen dividing it all up to take home. Whatever, I’m letting DH handle his people, or not. But I did take over the turkey distribution because I want some to freeze for tetrazzini.

In my family, no one would dream of taking leftovers unless they were offered. It is so freaking rude.


+100

Never in my life have I ever experienced what I've read about here. I've spent holidays with different members of my extended family and I've never seen people show up with their own tupperware and just start hauling off stuff. Never.


Seriously. As the host I often try to send leftovers home with people, and appreciate if others hosting do the same, but it's a bonus, not an expectation! And it depends on how much is left. I usually try to offload leftover desserts but not main dishes - unless someone brought a dish I don't like, haha, in which case I don't want to deprive them of the leftovers! I have never ever heard of a guest going in to help themselves. Heck, I left my good pie pans at my aunt's house at Thanksgiving because there was pie left and she didn't want to transfer it to another dish. So she got the leftover pie and the pans, and she'll return the pans to me another time. No big deal.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 10:21     Subject: Re:Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:College DDs are home. Oldest is not a fan of leftovers, even of meals she loves. This week her solution is to farm out leftovers to friends “Oh, so and so’s parents just had cheese and crackers for dinner and friend is starving. Okay if I take these leftovers with me when I visit?” I have to admit it is pretty clever though DH was sad to see his potential lunch walk out the door.


Um DH can’t open his mouth and say no?
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 10:18     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I made a big, lovely dinner. We spent hundreds on groceries.

ILs are now in the kitchen dividing it all up to take home. Whatever, I’m letting DH handle his people, or not. But I did take over the turkey distribution because I want some to freeze for tetrazzini.

In my family, no one would dream of taking leftovers unless they were offered. It is so freaking rude.


+100

Never in my life have I ever experienced what I've read about here. I've spent holidays with different members of my extended family and I've never seen people show up with their own tupperware and just start hauling off stuff. Never.


When I gave birth, my mother came to visit from out of state and brought me home cooked food from our country of origin. I was a week postpartum, pumping and nursing, recovering from a c section.
My mother in law (local) came empty handed, seriously, not even a freaking teddy bear for the baby, and ASKED ME TO PACK UP A TO GO PLATE FOR HER OF THE FOOD.
I at first was in such disbelief that I kind of muttered something and tried to walk away. I went into the bedroom to pump and came back out 20 min later with my milk bottles.
She walked up to me again and reiterated that she would really like a to go plate of the food.
I looked at her dead in the face and said, No. That food is for us to not have to cook for the next few days and for the freezer. NO.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 10:04     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Petty vent- the way my inlaws do dishes drives me insane. They have a two sided sink. One side is full of hot soapy water and the other has dishes drying inside the sink. I'm trying to clear the table. I scrape food into the trash can, but there's no way to rinse off food or goopy sauces because of all the clean dishes in the sink. We also can't wash hands or do anything else because the person cleaning the dishes is there like a linebacker not letting anyone at the sink. I'm really grossed out by clean spoons, pots, and dishes drying in a sink because I think of sinks as germy places. (At my house I lay them out on a clean towel to dry and then when I'm done I dry them and put them away. Clean dishes don't just hang around). Yeah I'm petty
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 09:57     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:To accomodate early afternoon football game we went to a movie at 11a this morning. There is nothing in the house to eat for lunch and mom expects my teens (and husband) to wait until 4:30p to eat (she and my dad only eat two meals a day). No lunch. We stopped for take out on the way home from the movie. Now I'm getting the side eye from mom because I won't follow her plan. I told her she can serve dinner at 4:30p, but, now she is worried we won't eat enough and she'll have too much food left over. I can not deal with her old lady rigidity regarding food and meal times. Vent done.


This is what I come here to read. Legit.


I fought this battle with DW and the inlaws. Our infant, then toddler, then 3-6 year old normally ate three meals and snacks. When the inlaws are here, they want to eat at 5:30am for their breakfast, then starve themselves until happy hour, then dinner at 7. DW gives into this and I'm the one insisting on stopping for lunch (which then makes food issue FIL look at me like I'm a gluttonous fatso who must eat lunch). So fricking over this.


Ahhh my ILs are like this too. No lunch, then often a cheese board and crap tons of wine for dinner. For breakfast they each eat a bowl of Fiber One and half a banana. Sometimes at dinner they will make spaghetti noodles with jarred sauce poured over in a nod to the caloric needs of our children. If anyone goes in the kitchen after dinner, they are on red alert. At meals, MIL watches each serving we take and each bite. She pushes her food around before taking a bite about every 5 minutes during a meal. She brags about skipping meals, especially dinner. She is 5'2" and weighs 95 pounds. Other people's weight, especially extended family members, is a frequent topic. There is a greatest hits of weight related brags: left hospital when having DH same weight as when she got pregnant, shops in the kids section, can't find clothes small enough, why are all the clothes at Target so big. "That is just a big big woman" stated often about strangers, neighbors and family members. OK readers, hope these true stories are hitting the spot!


But it’s like none of these women have ever worked out or strength trained in their life. Don’t they understand that skinny fat is not attractive at all?


For that demographic, the flat ass is goals. Concave ass and baggy pants even better. They cannot process that curves and booty are in.

My MIL: "we eat so much food when we visit you. I'll be skipping dinner for at least a week after this". True story.

Oh don't forget they drink only weak pale church coffee with skim. PP with the MIL who puts whipped cream in her coffee, your MIL is cool and living her best life instead of denying herself any pleasure for decades, then being surprised that no one cares about her weight but her.


Hey- need to be rude. I'm thin with a flat butt (but not a B like these old women are!). I'm white and a booty just isn't in my gene pool. The only "curves" I'd ever get even if I were overweight would be jelly rolls. I really don't think any body type but "healthy" should be in style
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 09:49     Subject: Re:Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Petty vent. For 20 plus years SIL tries to one up us and any interest we or the kids have suddenly become her interests so she can compete. Last night we announced an important change we are making that requires a financial investment that we’ve been talking about for 20 years. It’s very specific. SIL’s response - OH. DH and I are going to do that too, just bigger and better. Then she spent the rest of the conversation talking about herself. All from a woman who has never worked a day in 20 years. Whatever.


I’m still trying to imagine making a big announcement to my family about a financial investment at Christmas.


It wasn’t a big announcement. Poor wording on my part. It came up at dinner and for those that know us and care they knew it was a big deal to us. We never talk about ourselves since SIL does all the talking and needs to be the center but it came up.


NP I don't think that's weird. People definitely talk about big things at Christmas time like new jobs, starting companies, buying a new house... I mean it's family, not a group of acquaintances.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 09:42     Subject: Re:Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
College DDs are home. Oldest is not a fan of leftovers, even of meals she loves. This week her solution is to farm out leftovers to friends “Oh, so and so’s parents just had cheese and crackers for dinner and friend is starving. Okay if I take these leftovers with me when I visit?” I have to admit it is pretty clever though DH was sad to see his potential lunch walk out the door.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 09:34     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:I have a super petty, OCD one!

My mom is here for the holidays, she comes for a few weeks every year. She is great, and helps with things like the dishwasher/laundry/etc. great! Well…

My pots and pans stack according to size. They fit neatly in my sliding drawer that way. One on top of the other, next to the stack of mixing bowls and colanders that all nestle together as well.

My mom cannot, for the life of her, put a pot or mixing bowl inside or under another. Every time, she just jams then alongside the others until there is a junkpile of kitchenware, and the drawer can barely close.

This AM I opened it to find she put the very top pot, the smallest one, beside the pots and on the lids instead of nestled in its spot. It’s getting to where I flinch opening the drawer, wondering what new hellscape of disorder awaits me within.

Am I the pettiest? I think so.


Hah this sounds like my system. If I showed my parents, my mom would get it, my dad would be like OH I DON’T KNOW, THATS TOO HARD I’LL JUST LET YOU DO IT!!!! And you would think their house would be a disaster with stuff everywhere in their kitchen and my mom complaining how messy he is - nope their house is pristine and everything is in its little place. He just likes to act helpless sometimes.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 09:27     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a super petty, OCD one!

My mom is here for the holidays, she comes for a few weeks every year. She is great, and helps with things like the dishwasher/laundry/etc. great! Well…

My pots and pans stack according to size. They fit neatly in my sliding drawer that way. One on top of the other, next to the stack of mixing bowls and colanders that all nestle together as well.

My mom cannot, for the life of her, put a pot or mixing bowl inside or under another. Every time, she just jams then alongside the others until there is a junkpile of kitchenware, and the drawer can barely close.

This AM I opened it to find she put the very top pot, the smallest one, beside the pots and on the lids instead of nestled in its spot. It’s getting to where I flinch opening the drawer, wondering what new hellscape of disorder awaits me within.

Am I the pettiest? I think so.


It would take you two seconds to ask her to please just leave pots/lids on the counter, and you will put them away. So yes, you are the pettiest because you can so quickly and easily fix this!


That isn’t a fix. They still won’t be in the right spot until I touch them. You are the petty queen for going around trying to “fix” things for us, when this thread is for lighthearted and petty venting. Go back to your murder, you scolding old crow.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 09:27     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I got presents for my step brother’s wife and her nieces and nephews and no one got anything for my young son.


Unnecessary gifting. Kids get enough crap. Just stop. Really.


No.


For the type of “gifter” above, know that everything is donated or goes up on Buy Nothing a few days after you visit. Even my kids don’t like the garbage you give, and think it’s excessive. They like gifts, not the “stuff” you give.


I'm the PP who gave the gifts. I specifically asked what the kids wanted and got that, not just random junk. My kid certainly didn't need any more, I was just a little hurt having put the effort for these kids when my kid was essentially ignored. It was a clarifying holiday at least - I'm done spending the holidays with the blended family, worrying about gifts. Will just focus on my kid and immediate family going forward.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 09:24     Subject: Re:Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:

Being thin is their entire identity, their seminal accomplishment and raison d’être. It is a sad and insidious alliance.


Alliance of what?
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 09:22     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:I have a super petty, OCD one!

My mom is here for the holidays, she comes for a few weeks every year. She is great, and helps with things like the dishwasher/laundry/etc. great! Well…

My pots and pans stack according to size. They fit neatly in my sliding drawer that way. One on top of the other, next to the stack of mixing bowls and colanders that all nestle together as well.

My mom cannot, for the life of her, put a pot or mixing bowl inside or under another. Every time, she just jams then alongside the others until there is a junkpile of kitchenware, and the drawer can barely close.

This AM I opened it to find she put the very top pot, the smallest one, beside the pots and on the lids instead of nestled in its spot. It’s getting to where I flinch opening the drawer, wondering what new hellscape of disorder awaits me within.

Am I the pettiest? I think so.


It would take you two seconds to ask her to please just leave pots/lids on the counter, and you will put them away. So yes, you are the pettiest because you can so quickly and easily fix this!
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 09:12     Subject: Re:Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I made Xmas breakfast for the family, and a full Xmas dinner.
Not a thank you from dh.
Not a “yum, that was good”
Not an offer to clean a plate or wipe a table.
I’m not saying I need a medal, but I feel like the help.
Hell, a paid chef would’ve probably gotten a thank you and compliments.
It makes me feel very sad to feel so unseen and unappreciated by my spouse.




My response to this would somewhat differ depending on whether you're SAHM or not. If you both work, his lack of appreciation and offer to help is appalling. If not, he should certainly extend appreciation but there might be an issue of expectations there (ie all domestic chores your domain) and you should simply use your words and ask for help with an out-of-the-ordinary burden he took for granted.


Yea, we both work.
And I make more money.


You sound like my sister. I’m so sorry he sucks so bad.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 08:46     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
I have a super petty, OCD one!

My mom is here for the holidays, she comes for a few weeks every year. She is great, and helps with things like the dishwasher/laundry/etc. great! Well…

My pots and pans stack according to size. They fit neatly in my sliding drawer that way. One on top of the other, next to the stack of mixing bowls and colanders that all nestle together as well.

My mom cannot, for the life of her, put a pot or mixing bowl inside or under another. Every time, she just jams then alongside the others until there is a junkpile of kitchenware, and the drawer can barely close.

This AM I opened it to find she put the very top pot, the smallest one, beside the pots and on the lids instead of nestled in its spot. It’s getting to where I flinch opening the drawer, wondering what new hellscape of disorder awaits me within.

Am I the pettiest? I think so.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2022 08:04     Subject: Petty Holiday Vent thread 2022
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I got presents for my step brother’s wife and her nieces and nephews and no one got anything for my young son.


Unnecessary gifting. Kids get enough crap. Just stop. Really.


No.


For the type of “gifter” above, know that everything is donated or goes up on Buy Nothing a few days after you visit. Even my kids don’t like the garbage you give, and think it’s excessive. They like gifts, not the “stuff” you give.