Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 10:20     Subject: Re:Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My daughter, who has struggled with ADHD, is going to a middle-of-the-road, small, liberal school that probably a lot of DCUMers would down on. We're thrilled for her and she's doing well so far. She found the place that works for her. Surprisingly, her academic experience has been better than my other daughter's experience who is at UVA (e.g., small classes, tons of one-on-one interaction with professors, freedom to pursue whatever major she wants, etc).


Which CTCL school is she attending? LOL. Your gratuitous swipe at UVA gives you away.


I have not idea what "CTCL" is. My younger one goes to Hood College. Just pointing out the differences we have experienced having daughters in two very different schools.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 10:18     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ivy is a lottery. I didn’t win Powerball either. No shame in not winning the lottery.


Also no shame in not buying a ticket and choosing a totally different path. My DC just announced he will not apply to any top 20 schools. We are fine with that. That is not "underachieving" -- he will achieve all he needs to wherever he goes.


Translation: my kid knows he can't get into a top 20.


What's wrong with knowing it and choosing not to play the game? The point is all it is neither underachieving nor embarrassing. It such a ridiculous attitude, and I am relieved that our kid is mature enough to get it.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 10:16     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ivy is a lottery. I didn’t win Powerball either. No shame in not winning the lottery.


Also no shame in not buying a ticket and choosing a totally different path. My DC just announced he will not apply to any top 20 schools. We are fine with that. That is not "underachieving" -- he will achieve all he needs to wherever he goes.


Translation: my kid knows he can't get into a top 20.


This site just constantly reminds me how happy I am that none of my neighbors/friends/family are a$$holes like this.

Thanks for that, DCUM.


Yeah good lord. I actually went to an Ivy and the vast majority of people DGAF. No one really cares that much and people who do talk about it constantly just come across like Andy Bernard.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 10:15     Subject: Re:Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:My child is just beginning the college process. Her reach schools are those that dcum would scorn as safeties. But she is autistic with several learning disabilities, and when she started high school I didn't think she would make it to college. So, no, I'm not embarrassed -- I'm thrilled.


That's awesome and I'm so happy for her!

My DS has a couple of years to go before we face college, but it's been a struggle for him that has resulted in his finally receiving a private placement that seems to be a better fit *fingers crossed*. He really wants to go into cyber security and I've told him there is a path no matter how spotty and chaotic his HS transcript. There is always NVCC with guaranteed admissions to a number of Virginia colleges & universities. I would be thrilled no matter where he goes if he manages to do well.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 10:14     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ivy is a lottery. I didn’t win Powerball either. No shame in not winning the lottery.


Also no shame in not buying a ticket and choosing a totally different path. My DC just announced he will not apply to any top 20 schools. We are fine with that. That is not "underachieving" -- he will achieve all he needs to wherever he goes.


Translation: my kid knows he can't get into a top 20.


This site just constantly reminds me how happy I am that none of my neighbors/friends/family are a$$holes like this.

Thanks for that, DCUM.


If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure that the jerk posting at 9:56 and the jerk posting at 9:54 are the same guy. So it’s not TOO many people on this board who are @-h@les.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 10:14     Subject: Re:Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:I would not have been embarrassed, but my husband, who grew up in this horrible place, would have been, so he and his parents pulled every string imaginable to get DD into a school that she never would have gotten into otherwise. She's bright and very hard-.working, but severe ADHD and executive function issues. She really struggled throughout her entire high school career at a big 3. She's been at college for two weeks and seems quite happy, but we'll see what happens when classes ramp up. I am waiting for a major implosion. I would have been much happier to see her at a school with a variety of well-rounded kids and where for once, she could stop feeling like she's the dumbest kid in the room. I grew up in a grounded community, where people knew there were many avenues to happiness and success. People in this area are entirely myopic.


Good luck to your DD, I feel for you! A good friend's kid in a similar situation went on meds once he reached a very good college, he is now doing very well, on a pre-med track, involved w research projects, etc. Seeing a doctor to get help may be an option vs waiting for the implosion, but there are many pros and cons to consider. The fact that she is hard working matters a lot!
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 10:08     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ivy is a lottery. I didn’t win Powerball either. No shame in not winning the lottery.


Also no shame in not buying a ticket and choosing a totally different path. My DC just announced he will not apply to any top 20 schools. We are fine with that. That is not "underachieving" -- he will achieve all he needs to wherever he goes.


Translation: my kid knows he can't get into a top 20.


This site just constantly reminds me how happy I am that none of my neighbors/friends/family are a$$holes like this.

Thanks for that, DCUM.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 10:00     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
No, It was around middles school we realized our kid can do well in school with a lot of effort and studying. They are never going to be a high achiever. Neuropsych revealed average intelligence score so we have just accepted that selective colleges aren't going to happen. It's ok.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 09:56     Subject: Re:Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:My daughter, who has struggled with ADHD, is going to a middle-of-the-road, small, liberal school that probably a lot of DCUMers would down on. We're thrilled for her and she's doing well so far. She found the place that works for her. Surprisingly, her academic experience has been better than my other daughter's experience who is at UVA (e.g., small classes, tons of one-on-one interaction with professors, freedom to pursue whatever major she wants, etc).


Which CTCL school is she attending? LOL. Your gratuitous swipe at UVA gives you away.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 09:54     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ivy is a lottery. I didn’t win Powerball either. No shame in not winning the lottery.


Also no shame in not buying a ticket and choosing a totally different path. My DC just announced he will not apply to any top 20 schools. We are fine with that. That is not "underachieving" -- he will achieve all he needs to wherever he goes.


Translation: my kid knows he can't get into a top 20.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 09:51     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
DD is at a decently ranked public as an OOS (top 50) but really could have gone to much better known and ranked schools. She received a full scholarship and seems to be happy there so far (made some friends and got a job that is relevant to her intended major,...). Her peers are going to better ranked schools but she doesn't seem to care and is content with her college choice. I'm happy for her and proud of her accomplishments and maturity. My bank account also thanks her for her choice.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 09:38     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
I wasn't but my DH was. He grew up on the east coast, went to prep school, etc., and was OK with our child not getting into an Ivy, but wasn't thrilled with the school that our child chose. DC got into every other non-Ivy school and DH wanted our child to go to a SLAC similar to what he attended (or go to his alma mater).

DC chose a school based on academic programing AND had the good sense to pick the one that gave the most merit. It has taken a few years, but DH has come around, mainly because DC has been so happy with the choice.

I was just happy that DC had a lot of good choices, once the sting of being wait-listed at the Ivies wore off.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 09:26     Subject: Re:Embarrassed by college choice?
My daughter, who has struggled with ADHD, is going to a middle-of-the-road, small, liberal school that probably a lot of DCUMers would down on. We're thrilled for her and she's doing well so far. She found the place that works for her. Surprisingly, her academic experience has been better than my other daughter's experience who is at UVA (e.g., small classes, tons of one-on-one interaction with professors, freedom to pursue whatever major she wants, etc).
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 09:24     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:One DC got into a mediocre state school with a CS major. After graduation, he got a job making substantially more money than our DC that who graduated from a higher-ranked school.


This. My sister went to an Ivy, I went to a state school. I make more money and have all around a happier life. It's just dumb to base your future happiness on where you went to college.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2021 09:24     Subject: Embarrassed by college choice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OK, I'll bite. I wasn't disappointed in my kids' college choices because they all got into well known schools that DCUM would consider prestigious. Had they not, I would have been disappointed for sure and probably embarrassed. Kids around here have every advantage. To those who are given a lot, a lot should be expected.

I hate pampered, underachieving rich kids.


Yikes.

Why do you assume rich = intelligence?

And why do assume kids who go to non-elite schools (i.e. most college students) are not hard-working?


In the social circle where my kids were raised in the DMV, most of the kids were smart. If they didn't end up in prestigious schools, it's because they were pampered and indulged and got lazy.


Maybe you should consider changing your social circle. Sounds dreadful.


Actually sounds like PP is right where he/she belongs -- among the arrogant people who speak loudly about their opinions without the EQ to recognize how ignorant they are.