Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 21:08     Subject: Why do some people stay at the same job
WOW. Don't you sound like a greedy little b1tch. If your DH is happy in his job then there is absolutely no reason that you should be pushing him to find a better paying one. If you're concerned about money, how about YOU get a job (or a higher paying job if you actually have one)?
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 21:03     Subject: Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DH has been with the same job for 20 years. It’s his first job coming out of college. I’ve been trying to push him to switch to a different company for more than a decade and he sporadically applies to a few jobs once in a blue moon but nothing has come out of it. His current company has switched hands several times and he has not gotten a raise in 7 years. Benefits are subpar with no 401k matching. His field is computer programming so should be in demand yet somehow he’s ok working 8+ hours being severely underpaid for his field. I can’t understand why I need to push him to leave at all!! Is anyone or know anyone who’s in this type of situation?


Your DH is a 40 year old programmer. He should be happy he has a job still. Ageism is vile in tech, after 30 you better move in to business development or management or you are canned. Many programmers are NOT GOOD at BD and manage (I mean they are computer geeks, I’m one too). So don’t look a gift horse in a mouth. If he has stuck this long, he is likely a known quantity. Is he at a govt contractor?



I work at a Bay Area tech company, and this is just not true at my company. There's even a [/b]whole different promotion track for genius programmers and architects and what-have-you that maintains their individual contributor status as they get older, more experienced, and even more valuable.
[b][b]

Hmm so a SEPARATE BUT EQUAL promotion track for OLD geniuses. So they already categorize you different simply on account of your age, and you are only promoted if you are fing genius. So the average old programmer like OP DH goes where? I can guess…


Token Greybeards. https://newrepublic.com/article/117088/silicons-valleys-brutal-ageism
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 20:40     Subject: Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm straight up lazy and don't feel like proving myself all over again.


This. Once I got to the point where I could do my job well while being basically on autopilot, I decided I didn't want to leave. I have a lot more time and mental energy to devote to things I actually care about in life. I get paid well enough so money wouldn't be my motivator to find something new.


Np
Same for me. I’m very good at what I do. I have seniority on the team. I have no desire to start somewhere else for 10-15% increase in pay.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 20:19     Subject: Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DH has been with the same job for 20 years. It’s his first job coming out of college. I’ve been trying to push him to switch to a different company for more than a decade and he sporadically applies to a few jobs once in a blue moon but nothing has come out of it. His current company has switched hands several times and he has not gotten a raise in 7 years. Benefits are subpar with no 401k matching. His field is computer programming so should be in demand yet somehow he’s ok working 8+ hours being severely underpaid for his field. I can’t understand why I need to push him to leave at all!! Is anyone or know anyone who’s in this type of situation?


Your DH is a 40 year old programmer. He should be happy he has a job still. Ageism is vile in tech, after 30 you better move in to business development or management or you are canned. Many programmers are NOT GOOD at BD and manage (I mean they are computer geeks, I’m one too). So don’t look a gift horse in a mouth. If he has stuck this long, he is likely a known quantity. Is he at a govt contractor?



I work at a Bay Area tech company, and this is just not true at my company. There's even a [/b]whole different promotion track for genius programmers and architects and what-have-you that maintains their individual contributor status as they get older, more experienced, and even more valuable.
[b][b]

Hmm so a SEPARATE BUT EQUAL promotion track for OLD geniuses. So they already categorize you different simply on account of your age, and you are only promoted if you are fing genius. So the average old programmer like OP DH goes where? I can guess…
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 19:17     Subject: Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DH has been with the same job for 20 years. It’s his first job coming out of college. I’ve been trying to push him to switch to a different company for more than a decade and he sporadically applies to a few jobs once in a blue moon but nothing has come out of it. His current company has switched hands several times and he has not gotten a raise in 7 years. Benefits are subpar with no 401k matching. His field is computer programming so should be in demand yet somehow he’s ok working 8+ hours being severely underpaid for his field. I can’t understand why I need to push him to leave at all!! Is anyone or know anyone who’s in this type of situation?


Your DH is a 40 year old programmer. He should be happy he has a job still. Ageism is vile in tech, after 30 you better move in to business development or management or you are canned. Many programmers are NOT GOOD at BD and manage (I mean they are computer geeks, I’m one too). So don’t look a gift horse in a mouth. If he has stuck this long, he is likely a known quantity. Is he at a govt contractor?



I work at a Bay Area tech company, and this is just not true at my company. There's even a whole different promotion track for genius programmers and architects and what-have-you that maintains their individual contributor status as they get older, more experienced, and even more valuable.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 18:26     Subject: Why do some people stay at the same job
Let’s not get overly anxious about potential ageism yet, maybe OP is really believing in her DH to deserve something better. We all have had our share of incompetent managers, OPs DH can at least try to bump one of those idiot off and give the juniors a better work exp. 😁
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 17:30     Subject: Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:

Consider this

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/781990.page#14442434


OK? So we're all scr*ewed. What does that have to do with OP's spouse making what by any objective standard is a good amount of money? What the eff are any of us supposed to do about the fact that we age into irrelevancy? Did you find the magic elixir?
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 17:05     Subject: Why do some people stay at the same job


Consider this

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/781990.page#14442434
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 17:03     Subject: Re:Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

DH is making 120k. Yep with a masters degree and 20 years of experience. Pretty sure that’s underpaid for computer programming field.


You sound like a nag. Complaining about $120K. SMFH


Eh, it's not a lot considering there is no 401K match which OP mentioned earlier - that's huge and will affect their retirement. He should at least look into jobs that provide better benefits, maybe in the same pay range. No raise in 7 years is a huge red flag too. If he was getting incremental increases (at least COL) and some 401K, I would say just leave him be. But he's in a dead end. What happens in 5 years when the company changes hands again and he gets laid off? No one will offer him any type of job.


I am the PP and I will add, I say this as someone who has been at their job for 15 years. But I have gotten three promotions, get a huge 401K match and additional retirement payment, have an excellent boss who is incredibly flexible and get anywhere from 3-10% pay increases every year. That makes it worth staying. If I wasn't moving up internally and the company didn't have great benefits, I'd be out the door.


Well, you have different preferences. It is plenty of money especially given the spouse makes the same, 401k match or not.


Well, it's not just about the money. It's about the long term prospects for him in the next 10 years. He is only 40. At some point, probably within the next ten years, he will get laid off. That's more likely than not. Then, he will be out in the job market as basically a senior citizen in tech. His ability to get another job is going to be made much more difficult to possibly nil. And 50 is way too young to retire. I would be concerned if I were OP too. She's not being greedy; she's considering her family's long term situation.

This happens all the time to people approaching and in their 50s. There was a thread on it previously. He's in a precarious situation.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 17:01     Subject: Re:Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

DH is making 120k. Yep with a masters degree and 20 years of experience. Pretty sure that’s underpaid for computer programming field.


You sound like a nag. Complaining about $120K. SMFH


Eh, it's not a lot considering there is no 401K match which OP mentioned earlier - that's huge and will affect their retirement. He should at least look into jobs that provide better benefits, maybe in the same pay range. No raise in 7 years is a huge red flag too. If he was getting incremental increases (at least COL) and some 401K, I would say just leave him be. But he's in a dead end. What happens in 5 years when the company changes hands again and he gets laid off? No one will offer him any type of job.


I am the PP and I will add, I say this as someone who has been at their job for 15 years. But I have gotten three promotions, get a huge 401K match and additional retirement payment, have an excellent boss who is incredibly flexible and get anywhere from 3-10% pay increases every year. That makes it worth staying. If I wasn't moving up internally and the company didn't have great benefits, I'd be out the door.


Well, you have different preferences. It is plenty of money especially given the spouse makes the same, 401k match or not.


I think you're failing to see that the amount of money, while still a respectable amount, is low in the field that he's in with the amount of experience.


It doesn't matter what we think. What does he think?
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 17:00     Subject: Re:Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:

DH is making 120k. Yep with a masters degree and 20 years of experience. Pretty sure that’s underpaid for computer programming field.


You sound like a nag. Complaining about $120K. SMFH


Eh, it's not a lot considering there is no 401K match which OP mentioned earlier - that's huge and will affect their retirement. He should at least look into jobs that provide better benefits, maybe in the same pay range. No raise in 7 years is a huge red flag too. If he was getting incremental increases (at least COL) and some 401K, I would say just leave him be. But he's in a dead end. What happens in 5 years when the company changes hands again and he gets laid off? No one will offer him any type of job.


I am the PP and I will add, I say this as someone who has been at their job for 15 years. But I have gotten three promotions, get a huge 401K match and additional retirement payment, have an excellent boss who is incredibly flexible and get anywhere from 3-10% pay increases every year. That makes it worth staying. If I wasn't moving up internally and the company didn't have great benefits, I'd be out the door.


Well that's great for you but it sounds like OP's husband has a different sense of urgency and priorities.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 16:56     Subject: Re:Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

DH is making 120k. Yep with a masters degree and 20 years of experience. Pretty sure that’s underpaid for computer programming field.


You sound like a nag. Complaining about $120K. SMFH


Eh, it's not a lot considering there is no 401K match which OP mentioned earlier - that's huge and will affect their retirement. He should at least look into jobs that provide better benefits, maybe in the same pay range. No raise in 7 years is a huge red flag too. If he was getting incremental increases (at least COL) and some 401K, I would say just leave him be. But he's in a dead end. What happens in 5 years when the company changes hands again and he gets laid off? No one will offer him any type of job.


I am the PP and I will add, I say this as someone who has been at their job for 15 years. But I have gotten three promotions, get a huge 401K match and additional retirement payment, have an excellent boss who is incredibly flexible and get anywhere from 3-10% pay increases every year. That makes it worth staying. If I wasn't moving up internally and the company didn't have great benefits, I'd be out the door.


Well, you have different preferences. It is plenty of money especially given the spouse makes the same, 401k match or not.


I think you're failing to see that the amount of money, while still a respectable amount, is low in the field that he's in with the amount of experience.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 16:55     Subject: Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm straight up lazy and don't feel like proving myself all over again.


This. Once I got to the point where I could do my job well while being basically on autopilot, I decided I didn't want to leave. I have a lot more time and mental energy to devote to things I actually care about in life. I get paid well enough so money wouldn't be my motivator to find something new.


Yeah, I don't really want to have to start over and act all gung-ho and excited about my job. Work is work. I'm not big on the enthusiasm which accompanies it.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 16:53     Subject: Re:Why do some people stay at the same job
Anonymous wrote:

DH is making 120k. Yep with a masters degree and 20 years of experience. Pretty sure that’s underpaid for computer programming field.


You sound like a nag. Complaining about $120K. SMFH


Eh, it's not a lot considering there is no 401K match which OP mentioned earlier - that's huge and will affect their retirement. He should at least look into jobs that provide better benefits, maybe in the same pay range. No raise in 7 years is a huge red flag too. If he was getting incremental increases (at least COL) and some 401K, I would say just leave him be. But he's in a dead end. What happens in 5 years when the company changes hands again and he gets laid off? No one will offer him any type of job.


I am the PP and I will add, I say this as someone who has been at their job for 15 years. But I have gotten three promotions, get a huge 401K match and additional retirement payment, have an excellent boss who is incredibly flexible and get anywhere from 3-10% pay increases every year. That makes it worth staying. If I wasn't moving up internally and the company didn't have great benefits, I'd be out the door.


Well, you have different preferences. It is plenty of money especially given the spouse makes the same, 401k match or not.
Anonymous
Post 08/31/2021 16:48     Subject: Re:Why do some people stay at the same job


DH is making 120k. Yep with a masters degree and 20 years of experience. Pretty sure that’s underpaid for computer programming field.


You sound like a nag. Complaining about $120K. SMFH


Eh, it's not a lot considering there is no 401K match which OP mentioned earlier - that's huge and will affect their retirement. He should at least look into jobs that provide better benefits, maybe in the same pay range. No raise in 7 years is a huge red flag too. If he was getting incremental increases (at least COL) and some 401K, I would say just leave him be. But he's in a dead end. What happens in 5 years when the company changes hands again and he gets laid off? No one will offer him any type of job.


I am the PP and I will add, I say this as someone who has been at their job for 15 years. But I have gotten three promotions, get a huge 401K match and additional retirement payment, have an excellent boss who is incredibly flexible and get anywhere from 3-10% pay increases every year. That makes it worth staying. If I wasn't moving up internally and the company didn't have great benefits, I'd be out the door.