DCUM Forum

Anonymous

09/03/2021 15:37 Subject: Re:What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am also 41 and was thinking about going fully silver. But I tried it in one of those hair color aps and it did not flatter me. Blue gray look better with my skin but does not look natural. I decided on brown instead.

I agree with PP that the women who pull it off are slender; I'd add that they tend to have straight hair or very orderly curls. I am plump with extravagant curls and silver hair just makes me look like a good natured witch.

This made me laugh out loud because I can totally picture it. Same for me, unfortunately.

I’m plump and have a kind face and a head of shoulder length gray curls. I do laugh that some days I look like a good natured witch. But it can also look dramatic, or project expertise at work depending on how I style it and what I wear. I’m just totally done with trying to care about societal norms of female beauty- they alway struck me as BS, but now I’m totally over it. So I make myself happy with my hair and clothes, and my husband seems to like me fine. It’s not like he’s fussing about whether I like his newly shaved head. I do, for the record, and he likes his good natured witch.

Anonymous

09/03/2021 15:27 Subject: Re:What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am also 41 and was thinking about going fully silver. But I tried it in one of those hair color aps and it did not flatter me. Blue gray look better with my skin but does not look natural. I decided on brown instead.

I agree with PP that the women who pull it off are slender; I'd add that they tend to have straight hair or very orderly curls. I am plump with extravagant curls and silver hair just makes me look like a good natured witch.

This made me laugh out loud because I can totally picture it. Same for me, unfortunately.

Anonymous

09/02/2021 23:12 Subject: Re:What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

I’m 60 and a lot of my friends have stopped dying their hair in the last year. It looks great on some, aging on others. So it depends what look you are going for.

I am just starting to get some gray and am highlighting to cover.

Anonymous

09/02/2021 22:32 Subject: What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

Anonymous wrote:If you have gray hair at any age, you are sending two signals:

1. "I've given up"

2. "I'm not interested in being attractive to my husband"

Do your statements have any parameters? What if the woman is 70, 80 or older? What if she has a medical condition that precludes coloring?

Anonymous

09/02/2021 21:51 Subject: Re:What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

I lost my hair to chemotherapy when I was 45. I had been highlighting or coloring it since I was 23. It came back in fully gray and I have not colored it since. There are worse and more-aging things than gray hair, including life-threatening illness. Your family will deal with your gray hair just fine. You need to be the one who is comfortable with it.

Anonymous

08/31/2021 21:29 Subject: What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

*beat* of his own drum ^

Anonymous

08/31/2021 21:28 Subject: What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

I’m fully grey at 50, since the pandemic. I don’t think I’ll keep it long-term but I’m enjoying the respite from chemicals in my hair every 2 weeks. My DH loves it and encouraging me to keep it - and he is being sincere. He’s always marched to the best of his own drum, though.

It’s interesting to read what people might be projecting or perceiving when they see my gray hair. And none of it is really about me. By no means have I “given up” and I certainly DO care what my DH thinks.

Anonymous

08/29/2021 20:29 Subject: What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

I am almost 40, a dark blonde and so far, no grays yet as far as I can tell. I am in an industry that values experience, so no worries about going gray.

My Dad had beautiful glossy silver hair in his 50s and early 60s. I hope I inherit it.

Anonymous

08/29/2021 20:16 Subject: Re:What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

Anonymous

08/29/2021 20:11 Subject: What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have gray hair at any age, you are sending two signals:

1. "I've given up"

2. "I'm not interested in being attractive to my husband"

Would you say the same about a man? Should a man color?

No, and that is ENTIRELY the whole point. Women do not get a pass.

Anonymous

08/29/2021 19:33 Subject: What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

Anonymous wrote:If you have gray hair at any age, you are sending two signals:

1. "I've given up"

2. "I'm not interested in being attractive to my husband"

Would you say the same about a man? Should a man color?

Anonymous

08/29/2021 19:29 Subject: What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

Anonymous wrote:They are going to have to pry the L’Oreal excellence cream for my cold dead hands.

Signed, 47 year old brunette who realizes I will have to keep doing this every 3 to 4 weeks for the next million years of my life.

Why not just pay for it at a salon?

Anonymous

08/29/2021 19:22 Subject: Re:What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on your life and what you look like with gray. That's really it.

My hair is dark blonde with some gray interspersed. I'm 65. There isn't enough gray to be gray, and all I'm left with is dark ish dishwater blonde..not as flattering as if I touched it up, which is what I do every 6 weeks, by myself. Just some dark blonde highlights at the top, and done. I am fair, so this helps brighten everything, especially at my age. I just stopped working, but I will say for those who are at work, gray isn't as appreciated in the work place. Ageism hits really hard mostly at women, and appearance matters. Make up, clothes that aren't dowdy. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. Women take in a lot of angst from a lookist world.

After working, it depends on one's lifestyle and peer group.

But people like 17:09 are just perpetuating this. We don't have to drink the kool aid.

Remember were women just tolerated being sexually harassed at work? This younger generation are pushing back at that notion.

Hopefully, they will also reject the dictate to fight healthy aging, with chemicals and expensive salon services. We are not put on this planet for other people's enjoyment.

Not the same. Sorry- and yes, circumstances will change and appearance plays a role, like it or not. If you look back, a woman of 60 looked like a very old person as opposed to now, and I'm not even insinuating plastic surgery.

Anonymous

08/29/2021 19:19 Subject: What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

Anonymous wrote:When God gives it to you.

There are very young and attractive people with gray hair.

The hair color does not dictate their age or how good they look.

Free yourself. Don't care so much what others think.

Why are you teaching your daughter than men can age naturally but women have to hide behind a facade. Work on your self-esteem. You are actually worried that if you stop dying your hair you might embarass your family.

And you are asking strangers when you can stop doing something you don't like doing. Think about that.

Oh no girl. We aren't making these decisions, the world does. Trust me. Men do get a pass. The world is done with us at about 55.

Anonymous

08/29/2021 19:00 Subject: What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

And looking 55 instead of 61 gets you????

Ladies. Try to get comfortable in your own skin, instead of fighting a battle you cannot win (unless you die young).