Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

+1. OP is very naive but she’s right. Do you think your husband and many other men married you for earning potential? NO! They married you because you’re hot ( to them) and were willing to sleep with them. Men are simple - food and sex is really all they need. Thai thread has proven many times most men care very little about a woman’s education and career, but they care if she’s hot, fit, and willing to give then sex. Men who are making
money don’t want a partner who makes money. They want someone to feed them and f*ck them.

This is absolutely not true for professional men. Some absolutely care a lot about career and education and earnings of a woman. Many want an equal. Not someone to support. Mine wanted a specific income or he would not be dating that woman (only sleeping with her).

I'm a lawyer and by far the spouses are... other lawyers. Otherwise their wives are engineers or technical writers or so on. The only person I work with who has a stay at home spouse is female and her husband also does freelance art and does pretty well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted this in the past and I’ll post it agin, to be a good wife, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.

This old advice is not accurate. It really is not.

Also if you treat your relationship as this transactional, then do you expect your spouse to bail when you get sick and can't fulfill your "duties" anymore?

No thanks, I want a spouse who wants me, not a bang maid.

OP, how old are you? This is a really odd question.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted this in the past and I’ll post it agin, to be a good wife, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.

This old advice is not accurate. It really is not.

This isnwhat the "Gender roles" people miss because they boil down relationships into transactions. Of all you're doing is cooking cleaning, and banging him, what's thr actual basis of your relationship.

Being a good wife or husband means being a good friend to your spouse. Like starting a TV show, realizing it'd be perfect for you guys to watch together and then making it your Friday night thing. Or if your spouse likes hiking, looking up hikes you can do together. Or researching books to give them for their birthday. If you want to get traditional (though both men and women can do it) it's seeing a recipe you think they'd like and saving it or noticing their lucky presentation shirt is dirty and making sure it's clean for their big meetings It's being friendly and caring about them when they're not around.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

+1. OP is very naive but she’s right. Do you think your husband and many other men married you for earning potential? NO! They married you because you’re hot ( to them) and were willing to sleep with them. Men are simple - food and sex is really all they need. Thai thread has proven many times most men care very little about a woman’s education and career, but they care if she’s hot, fit, and willing to give then sex. Men who are making money don’t want a partner who makes money. They want someone to feed them and f*ck them.

Men in the top 5% of earners don’t care if their partners make money. The rest living in high cost areas care. This doesn’t mean they will marry a dog for money. It just mens most men will date/have sex with any hot woman. They will only marry the attractive ones that can contribute to the HHI. DH dates tons of women before me. He didn’t want to marry any of them. Many were objectively more attractive than me. He’s said he like my fun personality, caring nature, smarts and job, and that I’m always DTF. I can’t cook and we have a cleaning lady.

Just be yourself OP. He married you for who you are now. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working.

This is untrue based on some threads. Many men on here said they and most men don’t care about a woman’s education or how much they earn. They just want someone who is hot and will have sex with them.

PP is right. Mine was in top 5% and still wanted a certain income for a wife.

Anonymous wrote:DH here.

OP: keep his interest. No one can say how to do that, except you. But whatever it means for the two of you, stay interested.

So many divorcées repeat the phrase: “we drifted apart” - and I think that should be a lesson for the rest of us: stay interested and stay interesting to each other.

For me: my “type” is a very smart woman. I married well: my wife is brilliant, and that is what I need to stay interested.

I will add: don’t let your love for your children result in abandoning your love for your husband (I’ve seen that happen to women in couples we know). Keep that marital bond as strong as you can.

They use that phrase because they are not going to tell you the real reason for the divorce. It is almost never “we drifted apart.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

+1. OP is very naive but she’s right. Do you think your husband and many other men married you for earning potential? NO! They married you because you’re hot ( to them) and were willing to sleep with them. Men are simple - food and sex is really all they need. Thai thread has proven many times most men care very little about a woman’s education and career, but they care if she’s hot, fit, and willing to give then sex. Men who are making
money don’t want a partner who makes money. They want someone to feed them and f*ck them.

This is absolutely not true for professional men. Some absolutely care a lot about career and education and earnings of a woman. Many want an equal. Not someone to support. Mine wanted a specific income or he would not be dating that woman (only sleeping with her).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll. Stop feeding the troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. You’re threatened by women who have no problem being submissive to their husbands. Sorry, not all women want to be feminists and anti-men.

Being a feminist is not being anti-man at all. Wake up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clean, cook, and be sexually available. That’s it. Women think it’s complicated but it’s really not.

Male here. I don't agree with this at all. I'm with the feminists.

Thank you.

I think it should be self-evident that a guy doesn’t want a wife who is like this but also a bad mom, mean, ignores her husband, doesn’t work but puts the couple into consumer debt, etc. I think that most men would rather have somebody who is a true friend but who wants to split the cooking responsibilities and hires a housekeeper.

Anonymous wrote:Clean, cook, and be sexually available. That’s it. Women think it’s complicated but it’s really not.

I did that and earned 6 figures. Had a terrible marriage and happily divorced.

Anonymous wrote:Be interested and engaged (i.e., no staring into your phone scrolling while he's talking about his day)

Be physical

Be warm (to both him and the kid(s))

Put the marriage first over children

Be his advocate and partner

Go on adventures together, but be content staying in cuddling

No need to be a housewife, but don't be a bad roommate - be considerate about housework, childcare work, etc.

Oh and I forgot, have your own interesting life and be confident about it. Whether that's work, hobbies, friends or all of the above

Be interested and engaged (i.e., no staring into your phone scrolling while he's talking about his day)

Be physical

Be warm (to both him and the kid(s))

Put the marriage first over children

Be his advocate and partner

Go on adventures together, but be content staying in cuddling

No need to be a housewife, but don't be a bad roommate - be considerate about housework, childcare work, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Clean, cook, and be sexually available. That’s it. Women think it’s complicated but it’s really not.

Male here. I don't agree with this at all. I'm with the feminists.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

+1. OP is very naive but she’s right. Do you think your husband and many other men married you for earning potential? NO! They married you because you’re hot ( to them) and were willing to sleep with them. Men are simple - food and sex is really all they need. Thai thread has proven many times most men care very little about a woman’s education and career, but they care if she’s hot, fit, and willing to give then sex. Men who are making money don’t want a partner who makes money. They want someone to feed them and f*ck them.

Men in the top 5% of earners don’t care if their partners make money. The rest living in high cost areas care. This doesn’t mean they will marry a dog for money. It just mens most men will date/have sex with any hot woman. They will only marry the attractive ones that can contribute to the HHI. DH dates tons of women before me. He didn’t want to marry any of them. Many were objectively more attractive than me. He’s said he like my fun personality, caring nature, smarts and job, and that I’m always DTF. I can’t cook and we have a cleaning lady.

Just be yourself OP. He married you for who you are now. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working.

This is untrue based on some threads. Many men on here said they and most men don’t care about a woman’s education or how much they earn. They just want someone who is hot and will have sex with them.

I agree with PP. I think the consensus in some prior threads was that who don’t care are those making either not much and so can’t complain about earning power and men making over 400 or enough so that they wouldn’t take a huge hit in standard of living if they married somebody who made much less. The rest either care about their partners earning power.

A guy who is marriage material doesn’t have to settle for the first woman who is willing to sleep with him.

And for what it’s worth, I come from a religious background that glorifies stay at home motherhood and when I was dating DH he liked that I was at least on track for a career (I was in law school). It was about more than earning power, it showed that I was smart (or at least not dumb), that I was ambitious, and not just idling my time away while I waited to get married. Some men didn’t want that, they were really turned off that I was in law school. Which was fantastic, I knew about their insecurities about intelligence and earning power right away!