Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they were warning you about something. You better pay attention.

I certainly wish I had paid attention when my MIL would say things like “I didn’t think he had it in him” (to propose and get married) and “what kind of smart?” (To me saying he was smart in grad school).

Turns out he was autistic. Nice family secret to marry off the sons.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did he say? Was it something that you didn’t know about your fiancé’s character? I would keep it in the back of my mind and observe.

Said he was dumping him on me.

Yikes.

Are there any mental disorders involved?

Why aren’t you asking your fiancé about the comment?

My ILs used to insult my DH’s career because they only valued careers where you made lots and lots of $$ and he made different choices. So the insults spoke to their values and not his.

Anonymous wrote:I just can't help but chuckle here imagining my brother's girlfriend considering breaking up the engagement or diagnosing our whole family because I casually marked that my kid looked bad on one photo or that my husband is hairy like a monkey

Can I say that my kid is bad at languages? Or is that not allowed in the gentle circles?

You must always be upbeat and happy with only positive things to say. People who are simple like OP can't handle anything slightly negative. I feel bad for her fiance.

I just can't help but chuckle here imagining my brother's girlfriend considering breaking up the engagement or diagnosing our whole family because I casually marked that my kid looked bad on one photo or that my husband is hairy like a monkey

Can I say that my kid is bad at languages? Or is that not allowed in the gentle circles?

OP, while I certainly don’t think you should end your engagement over this (unless you find out a concerning truth), it does warrant slowing down a little and exploring if you got the sense they were serious. There are many, many threads in the relationship forum with OPs talking about the reasons they need a divorce, all the issues they didn’t know about their spouse when they got married. Your fiancé’s family could have been deadpan-teasing, or they could have been trying to alert you without outright saying something. Explore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:seems like a joke to me...

I thought so until the future SIL chimed in and agreed. She says bad things about her kids though--i.e. make comments about appearance, etc. For example she said that her child had a gruesome face in a bday photo. She said another had chicken legs, etc.

I wasn't raised in a family like this. His family actually seem very supportive and loyal but they talk a lot of crap about each other.

So you were raised in a family that only says nice, polite things and never says the truth? You do say his family seems supportive, based on your comments I am hearing they don't seem fake and you are from a fake, Stepford family.

Anonymous wrote:Seems like a no big deal, joke comment that many dads make.
He is your problem now... didn't you ever hear that op?

Op seems like an overly sensitive type. She's also upset because future SIL said her kid was making an ugly face in a photo. Some people are just sensitive and naive.

Seems like a no big deal, joke comment that many dads make.
He is your problem now... didn't you ever hear that op?