Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 09:01     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I work with a rich, well dressed AA woman. I seriously don’t recognize her sometimes and I work with her daily. It’s crazy how much a different hair style changes your face or how much we use hair to differentiate people.

That being said- name tags are the answer.


OP here, I'm also black and wear wigs regularly but I have several wigs that are all dyed to match my hair color (dark brown with some highlights) so my changes aren't as drastic as short and straight one day, long and curly the next. I see where the management is coming from but I also don't think they can make a determination like "no wigs" or "no hair changes".



OP - this request doesn’t have to be either rude or racist. Why not interpret it as someone pointing out a potential problem that you might not have been aware of. That’s what a boss’s job is.

Some of you PPs need to take it down a notch. It is very detrimental to society when people interpret every statement as a challenge or insult.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 08:54     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: If the manager makes this request on the grounds that the residents (some with dementia) will be confused, is this unreasonable?

Tell us more about this, OP.


It's an assisted living for older/elderly people, many of whom have dementia. They may recognize someone but with a whole new look they might get agitated or scared by not recognizing the person.

You’re borrowing trouble. Has this actually happened?


You obviously have spent zero time with a dementia patient.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 08:32     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
This is a totally reasonable and substantiated request. It’s an elder care community. Have any of you ever cared for Alzheimer’s or dementia patients? Any of you been to one of these places? Uniformity is key. It is troubling for the patients to have what is perceived as a new caregiver everyday.

Not racist at all. People have lost their mind. Employee is clueless and insensitive to her patients
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 08:29     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Maybe management requires all workers to wear a hair covering. That way, the residents see the consistent covering instead of the changing hair.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 08:26     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Racist.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 07:56     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
^^change her appearance...
White fragility to the extreme, and she has to worry about her job bcs of white fragility.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 07:55     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Anonymous wrote:There was some study I read once that said Americans who live in a diverse country tend to use things like eye color, hair color and style to identify people. Whereas people from more homogeneous countries like Japan or China use more subtle differences in facial features. This would explain Americans’ struggle to identify some people from others. It’s cultural. Even Black people do it to Asians. Hell, my neighbor who I’ve been living next to for 10 months just thought I was visiting because I wasn’t wearing my hat like I usually do. Dramatically changing your hairstyle frequently could be confusing. It’s awesome but yeah people may take a minute to recognize you. Doesn’t mean they are racist. They might be racist but that comment or requirement doesn’t have to be.

My DH's cousins, in a small town in Colorado, of all ages, would not speak to me when introduced and ignored me like a plague. I am a white immigrant from Eastern Europe, and when all this happened I was a young 23-year-old sitting with them for some 4th of July parade. Not a single word to me from over 20 people.
If they did this to a blonde, young woman that looks like them, what are they doing to OP and POC? Hispanics there were called some 15 years ago with derogatory names, even though they kept the agriculture economy of their small town going. I haven't been back there and don't intend to. As they got to know me, occasionally an aunt would say a word to me, kids ran away from me.
Just because "blacks do it to Asians, whites do it to Blacks, etc." we should not say it is not racist BCS it is xenophobic to the extreme. It means you are not looking at people that look different from you, come from places that you don't know, speak the language that you don't, as a human! You are subhumanizing them, and in OP's case forcing HER to change her be cardio so YOU don't have to make an effort to be open-minded and to actually look at her. Look at her face, see her as a human. These people might have dementia, but they are also racist.
Think, if they can't recognize her, they should equally not recognize so many new white faces that come and go there as the turnaround it constant. It is literally saying, we are not comfortable with YOU and your looks. In this case, it is racist and sexist. In other cases, it might be only sexist. It is on par if they asked a black man to lose his beard as it is perceived as aggressive to their white residents.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 07:42     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Somebody deleted my post saying that they are literally saying they can't remember your face. Until Americans start seeing POC as HUMAN they will come up with all kinds of crap.
It is true, and it is race-connected. Who reported and deleted that comment?
Another racist on dcum?


Some people are just bad with faces. My husband and I met in college. We were in the same small dorm wing (about 25 double occupancy rooms) where he’d come by and flirt with my roommate and also in the same small foreign language class (about 20 people). It took me weeks to realize he was the same guy, even though his hairstyle didn’t change. We’re the same race.

And some people are just racist.
OP, are most of the residents where you work white?
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 07:41     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I work with a rich, well dressed AA woman. I seriously don’t recognize her sometimes and I work with her daily. It’s crazy how much a different hair style changes your face or how much we use hair to differentiate people.

That being said- name tags are the answer.


OP here, I'm also black and wear wigs regularly but I have several wigs that are all dyed to match my hair color (dark brown with some highlights) so my changes aren't as drastic as short and straight one day, long and curly the next. I see where the management is coming from but I also don't think they can make a determination like "no wigs" or "no hair changes".

They should not make the determination like that. I would phrase it as a request for employees to minimize changes in appearance (for example, if you wear different colored glasses each day consider to sticking to one color) out of sensitivity for residents with dementia. I see the issue with the employee changing her hair every day but I also get how this is unlikely to be applied consistently across races.

Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 07:40     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Anonymous wrote:Somebody deleted my post saying that they are literally saying they can't remember your face. Until Americans start seeing POC as HUMAN they will come up with all kinds of crap.
It is true, and it is race-connected. Who reported and deleted that comment?
Another racist on dcum?


Some people are just bad with faces. My husband and I met in college. We were in the same small dorm wing (about 25 double occupancy rooms) where he’d come by and flirt with my roommate and also in the same small foreign language class (about 20 people). It took me weeks to realize he was the same guy, even though his hairstyle didn’t change. We’re the same race.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 07:38     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
There was some study I read once that said Americans who live in a diverse country tend to use things like eye color, hair color and style to identify people. Whereas people from more homogeneous countries like Japan or China use more subtle differences in facial features. This would explain Americans’ struggle to identify some people from others. It’s cultural. Even Black people do it to Asians. Hell, my neighbor who I’ve been living next to for 10 months just thought I was visiting because I wasn’t wearing my hat like I usually do. Dramatically changing your hairstyle frequently could be confusing. It’s awesome but yeah people may take a minute to recognize you. Doesn’t mean they are racist. They might be racist but that comment or requirement doesn’t have to be.
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 07:31     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Anonymous wrote:Somebody deleted my post saying that they are literally saying they can't remember your face. Until Americans start seeing POC as HUMAN they will come up with all kinds of crap.
It is true, and it is race-connected. Who reported and deleted that comment?
Another racist on dcum?


You know DCUM is gonna DCUM
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 07:24     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Somebody deleted my post saying that they are literally saying they can't remember your face. Until Americans start seeing POC as HUMAN they will come up with all kinds of crap.
It is true, and it is race-connected. Who reported and deleted that comment?
Another racist on dcum?
Anonymous
Post 07/24/2021 07:09     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
It is not racist or sexist as long as the rule applies to all staff. Keep your appearance consistent so as not to confuse the residents. I don’t see why this is unreasonable.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2021 22:01     Subject: Is this request rude or racist?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I work with a rich, well dressed AA woman. I seriously don’t recognize her sometimes and I work with her daily. It’s crazy how much a different hair style changes your face or how much we use hair to differentiate people.

That being said- name tags are the answer.


OP here, I'm also black and wear wigs regularly but I have several wigs that are all dyed to match my hair color (dark brown with some highlights) so my changes aren't as drastic as short and straight one day, long and curly the next. I see where the management is coming from but I also don't think they can make a determination like "no wigs" or "no hair changes".


You have the right to look any way you want. It is sexist, racist, and wrong. But, men gonna men and racists gonna racist! I am white, and at one workplace I had my hair blonde. I decided I had enough of it and dying it blonde. I am very fair, so the next day I showed up with hair dyed brown. It is common that when you dye your hair dark, it is very dark for the next couple of weeks. My boss had his teen dd work as the internet in my office and brought her that day! He said, here I told her she will work in a respectable office and you go goth. This was 12 years ago, and not much I could say that anybody would understand as to why this was wrong. I wore my usual slacks and nice tops and was around 38 years old.