It is also style. You may dress young.

I remember feeling flattered when I was 30s when people thought I was in college. I dressed young. I am petite. I have a fellow petite friend. Someone once mistook us as teenagers.

I have a petite thin 39yo friend and she is obsessed with looking young. I actually kind of feel sorry for her. What will she do when she is 50?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a latina and almost 40 but I constantly get told by doctors they thought I was in my 20's when they first met me. I see constant posts on here about people over 40 who say they feel old and slow. I also notice some races look much older after having kids even when they are actually younger than me. Does having a baby actually age someone?

Another poster already mentioned this but I think there a lot of people who have no idea what 40 looks like. I’m a ww but I get this kind of thing a lot. In my opinion, I look close to my age. I do take care of my skin and my kids are older and fairly self sufficient so they aren’t big stressors and don’t impede my sleep. Nowadays, fitness, skincare, etc are so accepted and accessible, I think some people just aren’t aware and think 40 looks much older than it actually does.

Jennifer Lopez is the same age as when Rue McClanahan started playing Blanche on the Golden Girls. Same for Demi Moore and Angela Lansbury on Murder She Wrote.

Anonymous wrote:First, it is not at all unusual to pass for being in your 20s at 40. I’m white and this happened to be all the time. I think part can be explained by the fact that people don’t know what 40 looks like. In my experience some time after 49!you can still look good but you start to sort of look your age.

As for kids, isn’t the saying “they keep you young but they make you old”?

When I turned 40, I worked out like crazy and was the same weight as when I was in my 20s. I could pass as 20s or early 30s.

I am now pushing 44 and I went from being youngish to kind of oldish. It may have been the pandemic that aged me or my dying parents. An acquaintance from my child’s school recently had a baby and she seemed shock to find out my age. I said I would consider having a baby if I was younger but 44 is too old. She said she definitely thought I was around her age. She is 34.

I had my first at age 30 and third at 38. I am Asian and still look pretty young in my 40s. I looked great after my first 2 even though I was exhausted.

I think you are trying to imply that white people don’t age well. I know many white moms who look fantastic in their 40s. I think this has more to do with genes and money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. You have to worry about and provide for a defenseless child you brought into the world.

If that responsibility doesn't age you, you probably aren't doing it right.

You do the same for pets though! You bring defenseless pets home and have to feed, train, exercise them, etc.

A pet is not a child. Raise a child and you will admit the difference. Promise.

Really. You raise a child so they won't need you any more. Also, pets don't fight back so much when you try to do the right thing for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. You have to worry about and provide for a defenseless child you brought into the world.

If that responsibility doesn't age you, you probably aren't doing it right.

You do the same for pets though! You bring defenseless pets home and have to feed, train, exercise them, etc.

A pet is not a child. Raise a child and you will admit the difference. Promise.

+100. I love my dogs. But there is no comparison. None.

If there is no comparison, you aren’t doing it right. I feel sorry for your pets.

And the rest of us feel sorry for your children.

I don’t think the PP has children. I think she’s a “dog mom” who is convinced it’s the.exact.same. I have 2 pets + 2 kids. Love them all, but there’s no comparison. Kids zap WAY more of your energy. My cat doesn’t need an ADHD eval, or to remember to send water day stuff to camp, or get sick for weeks from RSV, etc. My pets don’t need someone home to watch them every time I need to run an errand.

And while I will be incredibly sad someday when the pets pass, it would be nowhere on par with the devastation of someone who has lost a child. If you think “raising” pets is the same as having children, you’re deranged.

YES!! I had my second at 36 but when I turned 39, everything went down the toilet. I got injured, and then it is just seeming to take a long time to get back to where I was. And, where oh where, did my energy go????? I am SOOOO tired all the time. My second child has a very high energy level and it leaves me in the dust about 2pm. I wish I felt 38 still.

Yes! For varying individuals it varies across the board. For some it takes a greater toll than for others.

But of course yes! Pregnancy takes a physical toll. Then less sleep, constant multitasking, new challenges in marriage, so much more family management, kids sick a lot and you get it too, carrying infant/toddler/young child. So much of course kids age you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. You have to worry about and provide for a defenseless child you brought into the world.

If that responsibility doesn't age you, you probably aren't doing it right.

You do the same for pets though! You bring defenseless pets home and have to feed, train, exercise them, etc.

A pet is not a child. Raise a child and you will admit the difference. Promise.

+100. I love my dogs. But there is no comparison. None.

If there is no comparison, you aren’t doing it right. I feel sorry for your pets.

And the rest of us feel sorry for your children.

Yeah dogs are not kids and that’s a ridiculous take. I have 2 dogs and 2 kids. No comparison.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. You have to worry about and provide for a defenseless child you brought into the world.

If that responsibility doesn't age you, you probably aren't doing it right.

You do the same for pets though! You bring defenseless pets home and have to feed, train, exercise them, etc.

A pet is not a child. Raise a child and you will admit the difference. Promise.

+100. I love my dogs. But there is no comparison. None.

If there is no comparison, you aren’t doing it right. I feel sorry for your pets.

And the rest of us feel sorry for your children.

Anonymous wrote:Not until one of them became mentally ill. At that point, I aged big time

This. A thousand times this.