You seem to have your mind made up from all your reading and friends experiences, OP. What do you want to hear from us?

It just depends. I found bfing pretty easy once I sorted out how to get a baby to latch. By 4-6 weeks, my babies were reliably letting me get a 4 hour stretch of sleep, then a quick nurse where they fell right to sleep at the end, and then another 3 hour stretch of sleep. The overnight nursing session was easy and snuggly and I barely had to wake up. I felt pretty darn good. Bfing was super convenient for outings and night time feedings. Pumping at work wasn't a big deal. I easy got three 4 oz bottles in two pumping sessions, plus extra to freeze.

I do think bfing is less convenient if you have a very short maternity leave and you have to start pumping sooner. I wouldn't have wanted to start pumping at 6 or 8 weeks. I also probably wouldn't have been committed enough to do lots of pumping for extra supply, and certainly not exclusive pumping. That sounds insanely hard. No judgment for those who move to formula, but bfing can be easy and convenient when established. When it's good it can be very good. When it's bad, it can be very bad.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m a schedule oriented person. It seems snowy breastfeed babies don’t through the night until much later than formula fed babies. The family and friends that breastfed has babies who could only fall asleep being nursed, never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time well past 1 year, never learned to self-soothe, etc. They were very clingy, high needs babies. Most were super cranky because they were never getting adequate sleep. The formula fed babies were great sleepers, on schedules, and always happy. I don’t want to breastfeed because I’m afraid that will lead my child to becoming clingy and never sleep. I’m not willing to co-sleep as my husband and I don’t think it’s safe at all.

I have two formula fed babies and one never slept and was (and is clingy) and one breastfed baby who is Mr. Independence, a great sleeper, and self-weaned at ten months.

Anecdotal evidence isn’t proof of anything, OP. My second formula fed baby was very high-needs and finding the right formula was beyond challenging. He still, as a five-year-old, isn’t a great sleeper.

I would for sure try it.

I BF’d my DD till she was about 16 months. I did go back to work when she was 12 weeks so then did a combo of BF and pumping. Stopped pumping at 12 months and then just BF’d on demand for another 4 months and then she weaned herself.

I had a relatively easy timing breastfeeding but I HATED pumping. If I had another child, I’m not sure I would BF if I had to pump (which I would, because of work).

Anonymous wrote:Usually moms want to do what is best for their kids. That involves doing hard things like breastfeeding, especially during a pandemic when it will confer antibodies. However, if you can't for whatever reason, no shame in formula feeding. I do not see much benefit to pumping and bottle feeding after the first month or so. Don't torture yourself.

oh ffs. no, being a good mom does not mean sacrificing yourself for diminishing returns. in fact that’s arguably being a bad parent - thinking more about your own desire to achieve the “best” and less about what works in the long term.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, for me, the benefits of breastfeeding were less dishes and some nice endorphins and not having to pack any feeding supplies when we went out for the day. But breastfeeding has been easy for all the women in my family including me. If you think based on family history formula would be easier or less stressful for you, you should do that!

For your sleep concerns: my exclusively breastfed baby happened to sleep long stretches (3-4 hours) within a few weeks of birth and through the night around 3 or 4 months. I don’t think this has anything to do with breastfeeding; I just think I got lucky.

OP doesn’t want to hear that luck has to do with anything, or that babies just…do what they do. She firmly believes, with no real direct lived experience, that parental choices lead to baby outcomes.

When I have a margarita tonight, I’ll be thinking of OP. Bless her.

you know what OP can control? Having her DH do a night feed with formula. Win-win, no need to worry as much about STTN.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m a schedule oriented person. It seems snowy breastfeed babies don’t through the night until much later than formula fed babies. The family and friends that breastfed has babies who could only fall asleep being nursed, never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time well past 1 year, never learned to self-soothe, etc. They were very clingy, high needs babies. Most were super cranky because they were never getting adequate sleep. The formula fed babies were great sleepers, on schedules, and always happy. I don’t want to breastfeed because I’m afraid that will lead my child to becoming clingy and never sleep. I’m not willing to co-sleep as my husband and I don’t think it’s safe at all.

it’s possible they were cranky because they were hungry. I’m not totally sure if research shows persuasively if bottle fed babies sleep better; and you never know what kind of baby you will get. But what I can tell you is that YOU will get a lot more rest if your DH or someone else handles a night feeding.

Who said husband can’t handle a night feed while breastfeeding? I didn’t even have to pump. My supply was high and he would do a bottle of formula or pumped milk (from when I pumped at work) and it was no big deal.

That’s you but many women don’t have “ high” supplies and can’t go long stretches at night without it decreasing their supply.

which is totally fine. women aren’t cows - they don’t need to “protect their supplies” at the expense of their own health/sleep. a bottle or two of formula a day is totally fine and normal.

Breastfeeding was worth it for me because it was easy and I produced plenty of milk. (I did benefit from a quick visit with a lactation consultant after the baby was born, just to help me build confidence.) My general advice for new moms is to try it to see how it works, recognizing that it's not always better for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m a schedule oriented person. It seems snowy breastfeed babies don’t through the night until much later than formula fed babies. The family and friends that breastfed has babies who could only fall asleep being nursed, never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time well past 1 year, never learned to self-soothe, etc. They were very clingy, high needs babies. Most were super cranky because they were never getting adequate sleep. The formula fed babies were great sleepers, on schedules, and always happy. I don’t want to breastfeed because I’m afraid that will lead my child to becoming clingy and never sleep. I’m not willing to co-sleep as my husband and I don’t think it’s safe at all.

it’s possible they were cranky because they were hungry. I’m not totally sure if research shows persuasively if bottle fed babies sleep better; and you never know what kind of baby you will get. But what I can tell you is that YOU will get a lot more rest if your DH or someone else handles a night feeding.

Who said husband can’t handle a night feed while breastfeeding? I didn’t even have to pump. My supply was high and he would do a bottle of formula or pumped milk (from when I pumped at work) and it was no big deal.

PP here. Yes, I totally agree that having the father do night feeds is compatible with breastfeeding. It’s a great plan.

Usually moms want to do what is best for their kids. That involves doing hard things like breastfeeding, especially during a pandemic when it will confer antibodies. However, if you can't for whatever reason, no shame in formula feeding. I do not see much benefit to pumping and bottle feeding after the first month or so. Don't torture yourself.

Decide once the baby is here. I was pretty sure I would despise it, and I did. I found nothing bonding about it and it pissed me off beyond belief that my husband got off easy. I quit after 8 weeks with kid 1 and after 2 weeks with kid 2. I have zero regrets about quitting.

I cannot wait for you to come back when your kid is 12 months old so we can hear how it all panned out from your book reading.

I loved BF, but I think it was helpful that I went in knowing some people struggled with it. My sister was a total natural, and watching her and seeing and hearing her positive experiences made me want to try…but I also knew friends who struggled, switched to formula, etc.

I think it’s helpful to know, if you do want to try, that it doesn’t go smoothly for everyone, and that it’s OK to switch!

Some of my most precious and beautiful moments with my babies were while we were breastfeeding, and I am very glad that I did it. I am also very glad formula and bottles there so that other people could feed them and so that I could go to work and on a girls trip with no problems.

Once it’s established, there’s no easier way to feed, and I say that as someone who also used plenty of bottles and formula. I speak from both experiences when I say BF is by far the easiest way to feed.

I hated BFing. It hurt, my supply was low, I hated being tied down all the time. Plus, my breasts are super sexual for me, and it creeped me out to have an infant sucking on them. I know I know, that’s what they’re there for in the first place, but it creeped me out.

Anonymous wrote:OP, for me, the benefits of breastfeeding were less dishes and some nice endorphins and not having to pack any feeding supplies when we went out for the day. But breastfeeding has been easy for all the women in my family including me. If you think based on family history formula would be easier or less stressful for you, you should do that!

For your sleep concerns: my exclusively breastfed baby happened to sleep long stretches (3-4 hours) within a few weeks of birth and through the night around 3 or 4 months. I don’t think this has anything to do with breastfeeding; I just think I got lucky.

OP doesn’t want to hear that luck has to do with anything, or that babies just…do what they do. She firmly believes, with no real direct lived experience, that parental choices lead to baby outcomes.

When I have a margarita tonight, I’ll be thinking of OP. Bless her.

OP, for me, the benefits of breastfeeding were less dishes and some nice endorphins and not having to pack any feeding supplies when we went out for the day. But breastfeeding has been easy for all the women in my family including me. If you think based on family history formula would be easier or less stressful for you, you should do that!

For your sleep concerns: my exclusively breastfed baby happened to sleep long stretches (3-4 hours) within a few weeks of birth and through the night around 3 or 4 months. I don’t think this has anything to do with breastfeeding; I just think I got lucky.