Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 11:39     Subject: Nanny resentful
Anonymous wrote:What did you want from this poor girl? For her to tell you what an amazing employer you are? I really can't tell what you wanted that you did not get.

At any rate, it sounds to me like she was reliable, accommodating, and took good care of your kid in exchange for money. That was the deal you made. She is not required to show you gratitude, to show up a particular time to get her paycheck (I assume you were not paying for her time to pick up the check), and to otherwise genuflect to you.


1) you assume wrong, she picked up the check during her paid work hours and left my kid home alone to do it.
2) Lordy, how rude. No I’m not looking for adoration, just normal goodbye good luck thanks for helping my kid w school and lmk if you need a reference. parting words. Not ghosting.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 11:30     Subject: Nanny resentful
Anonymous wrote:$20 is a low rate, which is probably reasonable for a cushy job like yours, but you can’t expect her to love it.


OH PLEASE $20 an hour for watching a 10 year old do virtual learning is great. This isn't changing diapers, dealing with whiny toddlers, etc etc. Come on people! Don't believe the nannies here.

Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 11:27     Subject: Nanny resentful
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Team nanny here. Having the nanny help with the moving was the icing on the cake for me. Having her do that, whether you paid her or not, shows that you didn't respect her. Never in a million years would I ask a child care provider to do that.


Sadly this is the millennial attitude all around. “Not my job” whenever they are asked to do the slightest thing different or extra and the first question is always “will you pay me extra?” You will not meet anyone who did well at a job who did not occasionally do something beyond that job, and in this case it sounds like it was not that much to do.


YEAH NO. I wish I had firmer boundaries before pandemic because things I previously did to be nice became my job during wahm. In addition to my regular duties, remote school, and kids related activities I was expected to be the housekeeper, chef, and all around do everything person for the same rate.


If you are a nanny earning >$20/hr, meal prep, kids laundry, tidying up after kids, kid-related errands and taking kids to lessons ARE part of the job. If you’re good, you also arrange play dates, keep track of schoolwork, and occasionally do things related to the fact that you are at home during the day like let a workman in or easy errands. It’s not a big deal or shouldn’t be.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 11:12     Subject: Nanny resentful
Anonymous wrote:
The nanny sounds rather entitled and clueless, but you know what? Life will beat that out of her soon enough. Instead of acting all offended, I would just think how hard will be her fall if she starts out with that attitude. So... no need to lecture her.



I don't know, OP sounds entitled and clueless and has managed to avoid life beating her down
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 11:11     Subject: Nanny resentful

The nanny sounds rather entitled and clueless, but you know what? Life will beat that out of her soon enough. Instead of acting all offended, I would just think how hard will be her fall if she starts out with that attitude. So... no need to lecture her.

Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 11:02     Subject: Nanny resentful
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Team nanny here. Having the nanny help with the moving was the icing on the cake for me. Having her do that, whether you paid her or not, shows that you didn't respect her. Never in a million years would I ask a child care provider to do that.


Sadly this is the millennial attitude all around. “Not my job” whenever they are asked to do the slightest thing different or extra and the first question is always “will you pay me extra?” You will not meet anyone who did well at a job who did not occasionally do something beyond that job, and in this case it sounds like it was not that much to do.


YEAH NO. I wish I had firmer boundaries before pandemic because things I previously did to be nice became my job during wahm. In addition to my regular duties, remote school, and kids related activities I was expected to be the housekeeper, chef, and all around do everything person for the same rate.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 10:55     Subject: Re:Nanny resentful
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You consider paying her for the gas to drive your kid around, and paying her extra to do extra work related to a move “accommodations”?

She taught your kid he useful skill of making his own lunch and you didn’t thank her but think she should be grateful you didn’t complain?


+1 Many of the things you're citing as treating your nanny exceptionally well are standard practices. In fact, paying for gas to cart your kid around is not something extra, and I hope that if she used her own car, so I hope you paid her something extra for that, because often parents provide their own car for the nanny to drive., It's also not a bad thing for a 10 year old to make their own lunch. And allowing her time for doctor's appointments is also par for the course when you have a nanny. It's a person you're employing, not a daycare center, they'll need time off occasionally to go about their lives.


I paid her IRS mileage rates for her mileage/gas, totally standard. I said “adjustments” not “exceptional benefits.” “Accommodate” refers to her leaving an hour earlier than she was hired for and arriving an hour later, and letting her supervise in her own home instead of ours when she wanted to. I don’t think there are too many nanny jobs where you can do your own work 6 hours a day while a 10 year old is in remote school, and makes his own lunch, it’s a lot easier than watching a toddler or younger child.


I supervised remote school for 9 and 13 year olds. My rate was $30/hr and the kids made their own lunches. My bosses never asked me to do their errands (during a pandemic, no less!) and if they asked me to move their ‘bags by the door’ I would have told them to kick rocks.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 10:46     Subject: Nanny resentful
A 10 year old should be making his own lunch. Hello!!
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 10:45     Subject: Nanny resentful
Did you pay mileage for her driving your son? My boss expected me to drive 200 miles a week this summer without paying for gas and I told her no ma’am! That’s why she doesn’t want to drive to lessons. Even if it’s only 10 miles, why should she pay to go to work?
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 10:43     Subject: Nanny resentful
Nanny here- I don’t blame the nanny. Why are you using her as a moving service?? Paid or not, I hate it when my employees think just because I’m in the house I’m available for any job. It sounds like there was a lot of job creep!!
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 10:36     Subject: Nanny resentful
Cracking up that she should say thank you to you!

YOU should be thanking her for her job.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 10:35     Subject: Nanny resentful
Lesson learned. Caregivers for children should be caring for children. She most likely didn't appreciate you using her as a family manager and personal assistant.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 10:34     Subject: Nanny resentful
$20 is a low rate, which is probably reasonable for a cushy job like yours, but you can’t expect her to love it.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 10:30     Subject: Re:Nanny resentful
Oh wow, but 20$ is not enough. I made 25$ an hour back in 2009 in the DC metro area. Albeit there were three children but I was NOT asked to move things by my employers. Occasional laundry, regular meals, declutter and pick up around the house. None of the over asks outside of the contract that OP describes.

+1 for team nanny. Good ones are hard to find. But also ultimately maybe not a good fit.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2021 10:25     Subject: Nanny resentful
What did you want from this poor girl? For her to tell you what an amazing employer you are? I really can't tell what you wanted that you did not get.

At any rate, it sounds to me like she was reliable, accommodating, and took good care of your kid in exchange for money. That was the deal you made. She is not required to show you gratitude, to show up a particular time to get her paycheck (I assume you were not paying for her time to pick up the check), and to otherwise genuflect to you.