No. My DH was only doing minimal contract jobs, working a few hours a day, and hosting at a restaurant, and living with roommates. I didn’t ask about his salary at all. He was very unconventional and interesting then and that’s what drew me to him. Later I found out he had saved a lot and had an entrepreneurial streak (the restaurant was his) and he has been a great provider for our family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When younger, I looked for ambition, intelligence, and a solid work ethic. No salary requirements. I married my husband straight out of college when he was working 2 jobs and maybe making 60k total.


Now, in my early 30s, I would want a guy to have a stable career and a good handle on managing his finances as well as ambition, good work ethic, and a college degree. Still no specific salary requirement.

But where did your expectations land you salary wise?

I would want him to have to the ability, and desire to, make 80k+ by the middle of his career. I would make exceptions. If, say, I met an elementary school teacher who was great and loved his job but would never break 70k I would absolutely date and marry him.

No I am asking what your husband ended up making giving those in-puts.

He is 30 and makes 150k now. He is hoping, with hard work, to eventually make 300k+ and this is possible in his position and field.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When younger, I looked for ambition, intelligence, and a solid work ethic. No salary requirements. I married my husband straight out of college when he was working 2 jobs and maybe making 60k total.


Now, in my early 30s, I would want a guy to have a stable career and a good handle on managing his finances as well as ambition, good work ethic, and a college degree. Still no specific salary requirement.

But where did your expectations land you salary wise?

I would want him to have to the ability, and desire to, make 80k+ by the middle of his career. I would make exceptions. If, say, I met an elementary school teacher who was great and loved his job but would never break 70k I would absolutely date and marry him.

No I am asking what your husband ended up making giving those in-puts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When younger, I looked for ambition, intelligence, and a solid work ethic. No salary requirements. I married my husband straight out of college when he was working 2 jobs and maybe making 60k total.


Now, in my early 30s, I would want a guy to have a stable career and a good handle on managing his finances as well as ambition, good work ethic, and a college degree. Still no specific salary requirement.

But where did your expectations land you salary wise?

I would want him to have to the ability, and desire to, make 80k+ by the middle of his career. I would make exceptions. If, say, I met an elementary school teacher who was great and loved his job but would never break 70k I would absolutely date and marry him.

Anonymous wrote:When younger, I looked for ambition, intelligence, and a solid work ethic. No salary requirements. I married my husband straight out of college when he was working 2 jobs and maybe making 60k total.


Now, in my early 30s, I would want a guy to have a stable career and a good handle on managing his finances as well as ambition, good work ethic, and a college degree. Still no specific salary requirement.

But where did your expectations land you salary wise?

If my wife had a salary requirement, it must not have been very high. We were in our 30s around 2000 and my salary has bounced between $70k and $90k since then. I'm sure she grumbles that she could have married better.

When younger, I looked for ambition, intelligence, and a solid work ethic. No salary requirements. I married my husband straight out of college when he was working 2 jobs and maybe making 60k total.


Now, in my early 30s, I would want a guy to have a stable career and a good handle on managing his finances as well as ambition, good work ethic, and a college degree. Still no specific salary requirement.

I met my ex in HS. We both made min wage. Neither of us had any income requirements at the time. We both went onto to have very successful financial careers and we both earn about the same. Now I don’t want to date anyone that earns less than what I make. I’m used to having an equal financial partner.

Anonymous wrote:No scrubs.

DH and I met in college. He was really hard working, had a great degree and was driven. It all translated into a good salary.

I’m not saying she’s a gold digger, bust she ain’t messing with no broke

Do men seriously have weight/size requirements when they date women?

I didn’t have a salary requirement I had an earning potential requirement.

No man I married was going to have the babies. Science isn’t there yet. So I was looking at minimum one year per child of career stagnation. My husband gets the same number of children as I do, so my expectation is that he makes enough money to smooth out any career stalling I experience having our children.

The poster who said to go where the money is, then fall in love, is not wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never really "dated around", but the general recommendation I gave to my single friends is that the men's salary should not be lower than 80% of her base salary.

Interesting. My recommendation to my single friends was to focus on their own careers and not rely on a man to provide for them.

Marrying a guy who makes less than you, as the top poster suggested, is not in anyway asking the man to provide for the woman. It is merely asking the man to provide for himself or carry close to half the load financially.

I made 1/3 more than my husband did when we meet and then I put myself through 3 years of grad school, fir which I paid out of my own pocket (no debt). The result was that my starting salary after grad school would be about twice what my DH made. It was a huge mistake not to care what he made. He was careless with money, and when we separated (for infidelity, which he had been doing unbeknownst to me for our entire relationship and thus was unrelated to finances), he did not contribute anywhere close to half neither in terms of finances nor in terms of parenting, which of course negatively affected my own earning power.

Not making enough money was a proxy for not being an adult and not working as hard as I did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh.. a man is not the plan. no matter what happens, they could die, leave you etc. find someone who's compatible that you're attracted to. make sure you can exist without them if needed.

Sure. But IME it’s women who are the most financially independent who are the most skeptical of a low income husband.

Right. It's about being able to maintain what you built for yourself, and continue building not having some man drain you.

It’s not even about that. My friends dated a few average income men (40 yr old making 75k), about half of what she makes. The men’s ego definitely gets in the way. It was very toxic. Not about to advise my friend to bet on that 3delta+ region (where a nice man making that much are secure around her.)

My exHusband had a salary requirement for a girlfriend/future wife. I met it. I was appalled and almost broke up with him. Should have. We are divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s pretty naive to not care at all about the income or income potential of your spouse (no matter your gender or the gender you prefer to date). I always cared. So did the men who dated me.

Completely. My friends who are a two teacher married couple are living very differently than couples who make mid/high six figures/seven figures. It's not that more money is better, but it's different.

And that could be an absolutely wonderful lifestyle! Both can travel in summer/other breaks, similar work schedules, etc. If they both want that lifestyle and both are comfortable with the standard of living it pays for, awesome. The important part is being on the same page.