Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can respect their worth as an individual while simultaneously acknowledging their worth to me, as a partner.

A partner who I have to help support financially so that they can keep up with my lifestyle is not a valuable asset to me as a partner, as I am not looking to marry. I am looking to date and travel and share half a life (my non kid life) with a partner. If they cannot do that due to financial limitations, they will be less valuable to me as a partner, if not less intrinsically valuable as a human.

This has got to be fake. No decent person would want to date someone like this

“If they cannot do that due to financial limitations, they will be less valuable to me as a partner, if not less intrinsically valuable as a human”

Really???!!!

Anonymous wrote:I can respect their worth as an individual while simultaneously acknowledging their worth to me, as a partner.

A partner who I have to help support financially so that they can keep up with my lifestyle is not a valuable asset to me as a partner, as I am not looking to marry. I am looking to date and travel and share half a life (my non kid life) with a partner. If they cannot do that due to financial limitations, they will be less valuable to me as a partner, if not less intrinsically valuable as a human.

Anonymous wrote:I fit your profile exactly, except of course I am married with kids. I don't think the income issue in and of itself is a problem, but you have two very conflicting requirements that make it, imo, basically impossible. First, just to let you know, most guys don't want a woman with kids. It's icky. But the kids is really where the conflict comes in. The guy is supposed to be okay with YOUR kids but not want any of his OWN kids. That's just absolutely nuts and you will never find that. UNLESS, the guy already HAS his own kids, in which case at the income level you are asking, he will be paying substantial child support and/or alimony (think like 20% of his pretax income plus daycare/medical/whatever). So he really needs to be making about 350k pre-child support/alimony at a minimum. And you're then assuming that this person would want to get together with you and help support YOUR kids too. I just don't see that happening for an older woman like yourself. Maybe if you were 25 and an absolute knock out...maybe... but still highly unlikely

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, you know .... I know a GREAT guy who is almost EXACTLY what you're looking for, but he's 37.5. Oh well.

My fiance is 6'1, makes 400k, and doesn't want kids. But he's 37. I guess that's the magic number!

Glad you got your brag in...feel better now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, #2 and #4 tell me all I need to know about you and it ain't pretty. Glad you don't have plans to do anymore procreating. I'm sure you can find someone as ridiculous as you if you keep at it.

A 38 year old man with a similar list would probably have no kids and/or under 30 on their list

Anonymous wrote:When my husband and I divorced and I hit the dating scene again, I was worried that it would be hard to meet men. I had never done online dating before and wow, a while new world. Even during covid, it’s not hard at all!

The problem is that it’s too hard to meet men I’d realistically be into.

I am in my mid 30s, attractive, two kids, financially independent and professionally successful. Here is what I’m finding:

1. The guys who want to have kids of their own like, yesterday, because they realize the clock is ticking. This is totally understandable but I really, really do not want any more kids.

2. The guys who are not in a great financial place because they are paying out tons of alimony and child support. I am not necessarily looking to be supported, but I am also not looking to support someone else. Realistically I think the lowest I could go from an income perspective would be about $250k for a single guy or that equivalent after alimony and child support has been deducted. Anything short of that and there’s going to be a pretty substantial income gap that will make me feel uncomfortable. Even that would present a large gap.

3. The overgrown lax bros who can’t believe I have kids. “Is that your nephew in the picture?”

4, The guys who are five foot seven and under- I really feel bad for them but I just can’t do that.

I’m sure there’s more... is it too much to ask to find a professionally successful guy ages 38-50 who either (a) has kids od his own or (b) doesn’t wNt kids is his own, but also doesn’t mind dealing with mine 50% of the time.

Where do these men exist?????

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the Op but I have similar standards. The issue when you are a financially successful woman is that I want an equal. If I want to go to the Bahamas for the long weekend. I want my partner to be able to do the same. If I want to go to NYC for the weekend, again I want someone to do those things with. I don’t expect anyone to pay for me and I don’t want to pay for anyone else. If you can’t afford to go, I’m still going. Guys I’ve dated have gotten pissy that I’m not willing to pay their way.

I don’t want anymore kids either. That requirement gets easier to meet as you get older. OP, I didn’t date anyone for the last 7 yrs. I focused on my kids and my career. I’m 50 now. I recently started dating a man with 2 grown, out of college kids. He’s financially secure, doesn’t want more kids, and is 6’4. They’re out there but you may have to wait.

Don’t lower your standards but also don’t expect to strike gold right away. While you wait, focus on you and your kids.

DP.

Agree - it is normal for a successful, high earning woman to expect her partner to earn as well or better the she does.

Why would any woman accept, let alone respect, a low income guy?

Because a person’s worth as an individual isn’t predicated on their income. My three year old understands this.

Anonymous wrote:LOL, #2 and #4 tell me all I need to know about you and it ain't pretty. Glad you don't have plans to do anymore procreating. I'm sure you can find someone as ridiculous as you if you keep at it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, you know .... I know a GREAT guy who is almost EXACTLY what you're looking for, but he's 37.5. Oh well.

My fiance is 6'1, makes 400k, and doesn't want kids. But he's 37. I guess that's the magic number!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the Op but I have similar standards. The issue when you are a financially successful woman is that I want an equal. If I want to go to the Bahamas for the long weekend. I want my partner to be able to do the same. If I want to go to NYC for the weekend, again I want someone to do those things with. I don’t expect anyone to pay for me and I don’t want to pay for anyone else. If you can’t afford to go, I’m still going. Guys I’ve dated have gotten pissy that I’m not willing to pay their way.

I don’t want anymore kids either. That requirement gets easier to meet as you get older. OP, I didn’t date anyone for the last 7 yrs. I focused on my kids and my career. I’m 50 now. I recently started dating a man with 2 grown, out of college kids. He’s financially secure, doesn’t want more kids, and is 6’4. They’re out there but you may have to wait.

Don’t lower your standards but also don’t expect to strike gold right away. While you wait, focus on you and your kids.

DP.

Agree - it is normal for a successful, high earning woman to expect her partner to earn as well or better the she does.

Why would any woman accept, let alone respect, a low income guy?

Because a person’s worth as an individual isn’t predicated on their income. My three year old understands this.

Anonymous wrote:The income piece is really, really limiting. Both from a numeric perspective - you're disqualifying the vast majority of men - but also because the men who are in that group have a lot of options, and they're not selecting on income to the same degree you are. The rest of it doesn't seem crazy. Unless by "not 5'7" you mean "not 5'10".