Anonymous wrote:The original question leads me to this one: don't you know people (women and men) who are objectively unlikeable yet have tons of friend/acquaintances? I mean people who are catty, gossipy, selfish, materialistic, or similar.
I tend to be shy and take a while to warm up to people. I've been told that this comes off as bitchy, aloof, or superior when meeting new people. It is probably why I have a small circle - so it always makes me wonder how these people who Really are nasty have such vibrant circles of friends and acquaintances. Thoughts?
No thoughts, but I've observed the same thing (and have a personality like yours). I really don't get it. I noticed then phenomenon in high school but figured people would outgrow their love of mean girls. Nope. As a 35 year old, I know a couple of very mean, bitchy, snobby women who have huge circles of friends and hanger-ons. I'm a very nice (I think), generous, caring friend but I'm shy and reserved, so people think I'm aloof or superior. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have a very small circle of close friends but lots of acquaintances. I think it may be because I am more reserved and am content to spend a day alone, don't like talking on the phone, etc. Basically, I'm not making as much of an effort. I'm also one of those unfortunate people who has a bitch face whenever I'm thinking or not really paying attention. I'm working on that. I am very attractive, educated, etc etc, but I don't think it prevents people from getting close to me (with a few exceptions).