Anonymous
05/26/2021 00:22
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP this is tough. 16 would be much better. My mom took me to the OB gyn when I had just turned 17 and confided in her that I wanted birth control. I had a full appointment and drove myself. I thought she handled it well.
But this situation is a bit different.
It’s a lot to give a 14 year old this level of trust. Even if you get her birth control, it all seems concerning. For perspective, men go to jail with catch a predator schemes with FBI agents pretending to be 14. What if she breaks up with this boyfriend and then gets another one who’s older and he gets slammed with a statutory rape situation?
You want her trust but this is a lot...
Agree. Don’t give up on parenting with wise counsel in favor of chasing the reward of being her confidante through your “support.” This is one of those areas where all the adults in the room know that being sexually active at 14 rarely leads to positive things. Be loving but be honest, OP. Let her know you aee tree concerned but glad she came to you because you will help her prevent the things that can —to some extent—be prevented (like unwanted pregnancy) but there are still some things that you cannot shield her from (heartbreak, regret, hormonal surges released during sex that make her feel more attached to this boy, by biological design, that may confuse her when he is over the relationship and doesn’t feel those same attachments, etc.)
You can’t do UN-ring this bell, OP, but not do you need to throw a party about it. Strike a balance of support and compassion. But keep the concern.
This is good advice.
Anonymous
05/25/2021 23:33
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP this is tough. 16 would be much better. My mom took me to the OB gyn when I had just turned 17 and confided in her that I wanted birth control. I had a full appointment and drove myself. I thought she handled it well.
But this situation is a bit different.
It’s a lot to give a 14 year old this level of trust. Even if you get her birth control, it all seems concerning. For perspective, men go to jail with catch a predator schemes with FBI agents pretending to be 14. What if she breaks up with this boyfriend and then gets another one who’s older and he gets slammed with a statutory rape situation?
You want her trust but this is a lot...
Agree. Don’t give up on parenting with wise counsel in favor of chasing the reward of being her confidante through your “support.” This is one of those areas where all the adults in the room know that being sexually active at 14 rarely leads to positive things. Be loving but be honest, OP. Let her know you aee tree concerned but glad she came to you because you will help her prevent the things that can —to some extent—be prevented (like unwanted pregnancy) but there are still some things that you cannot shield her from (heartbreak, regret, hormonal surges released during sex that make her feel more attached to this boy, by biological design, that may confuse her when he is over the relationship and doesn’t feel those same attachments, etc.)
You can’t do UN-ring this bell, OP, but not do you need to throw a party about it. Strike a balance of support and compassion. But keep the concern.
Anonymous
05/25/2021 23:23
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:Why are letting a 14 yr old date in the first place?
This is what an 8th grader?
Insanity that this is normalized.
Anonymous
05/25/2021 23:22
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Too young!
How does this help the OP?
Her kid can't even drive. She doesn't need to have a boyfriend and be having sex with him. Mom can and should put an end to this pronto
LOL no that will not work. They will find a way. Hello teen pregnancy.
OP you are doing the right thing.
Um, np but I see no reason why parents can’t do both.
Fine to get her on an iud, but it’s also fine to say “we feel you’re too young for a bf and to take on the emotional maturity of this kind of relationship so we’ll not be condoning the relationship or sexual activity at this young age.”
Sure, she may still find a way around it but no need to turn down the sheets and light romantic candles to play mood music in preparation for it as though you are totally on board with her new hobby.
At 14!
Anonymous
05/25/2021 23:07
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Why are letting a 14 yr old date in the first place?
This is what an 8th grader?
This is what an 8th grader?
Anonymous
05/25/2021 21:21
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Still in shock but 14 year old just told me she and boyfriend are having sex. His parents saw condom at his house. I am taking her to regular pediatrician to get birth control. Anybody done that before? Do I get to stay in room? Have say about type?
I am as scared as I was when about to see OB GYN. Dr office said they do prescribe for teens
It might be worthwhile to call your ob/gyn to ask a bit about the process, and consider whether that is a better alternative to her pediatrician.
Also just talk with her and ask if she’d like you there. Agree with researching options beforehand, as well as what goes on during a pelvic exam, so she has that background and can come in with questions (and so can you, if she’d like you there).
This is an important step for your daughter. I would prep her to ask for a smaller speculum if she is alone. (It would have been nice to know that someone was going to stick their finger in my anus, as well.) I didn’t know about smaller sized speculums until my third ob gyn who said they were using one after I told them it didn’t hurt the way prior visits did. Pelvic exams don’t need to be hurtful, or scary. Or felt in any way as punishment.
Umm, I’m 38 and have been going to the gyn for 20+ Years in addition to having 3 children and I’ve never had someone stick a finger in my anus in any sort of exam.
I had it happen one time. It was really upsetting.
I had one gyno do that but she told me and asked first.
Anonymous
05/25/2021 20:09
Subject: Re:What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
She needs to be seeing a gynecologist for this, not a pediatrician.
Anonymous
05/25/2021 19:37
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Womens Healthcare provider here.
This is what a sexually active teen girl needs
HPV vaccine
Yearly urine test for chlamyida and gonnorhea
Plan B
Contraception of her choice
Planned Parenthood is a great place to go. Pediatrician or GYN is fine too.
She does not need pelvic or pap, unless she is having problems.
This is what a sexually active teen girl needs
HPV vaccine
Yearly urine test for chlamyida and gonnorhea
Plan B
Contraception of her choice
Planned Parenthood is a great place to go. Pediatrician or GYN is fine too.
She does not need pelvic or pap, unless she is having problems.
Anonymous
05/25/2021 18:43
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Still in shock but 14 year old just told me she and boyfriend are having sex. His parents saw condom at his house. I am taking her to regular pediatrician to get birth control. Anybody done that before? Do I get to stay in room? Have say about type?
I am as scared as I was when about to see OB GYN. Dr office said they do prescribe for teens
It might be worthwhile to call your ob/gyn to ask a bit about the process, and consider whether that is a better alternative to her pediatrician.
Also just talk with her and ask if she’d like you there. Agree with researching options beforehand, as well as what goes on during a pelvic exam, so she has that background and can come in with questions (and so can you, if she’d like you there).
This is an important step for your daughter. I would prep her to ask for a smaller speculum if she is alone. (It would have been nice to know that someone was going to stick their finger in my anus, as well.) I didn’t know about smaller sized speculums until my third ob gyn who said they were using one after I told them it didn’t hurt the way prior visits did. Pelvic exams don’t need to be hurtful, or scary. Or felt in any way as punishment.
Umm, I’m 38 and have been going to the gyn for 20+ Years in addition to having 3 children and I’ve never had someone stick a finger in my anus in any sort of exam.
I had it happen one time. It was really upsetting.
NP. That's not supposed to happen during a pelvic exam.
Anonymous
05/25/2021 18:34
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
So many people here on in denial about the fact that your 14 year old is having sex. She must really trust you if she asked for birth control, that’s a testament to how good a parent you are. Limiting contact with the boy will only make her sneak around and risk pregnancy—anyone who says otherwise is in denial. With that being said, I’d take her to an OB/GYN. The capital women’s care office I go to (in Silver Spring), has several docs who mention a specialty in adolescent care. I’d take her to someone like that.
Anonymous
05/25/2021 18:11
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
I’m sorry OP this is tough. 16 would be much better. My mom took me to the OB gyn when I had just turned 17 and confided in her that I wanted birth control. I had a full appointment and drove myself. I thought she handled it well.
But this situation is a bit different.
It’s a lot to give a 14 year old this level of trust. Even if you get her birth control, it all seems concerning. For perspective, men go to jail with catch a predator schemes with FBI agents pretending to be 14. What if she breaks up with this boyfriend and then gets another one who’s older and he gets slammed with a statutory rape situation?
You want her trust but this is a lot...
But this situation is a bit different.
It’s a lot to give a 14 year old this level of trust. Even if you get her birth control, it all seems concerning. For perspective, men go to jail with catch a predator schemes with FBI agents pretending to be 14. What if she breaks up with this boyfriend and then gets another one who’s older and he gets slammed with a statutory rape situation?
You want her trust but this is a lot...
Anonymous
05/25/2021 17:59
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Too young!
How does this help the OP?
Her kid can't even drive. She doesn't need to have a boyfriend and be having sex with him. Mom can and should put an end to this pronto
LOL no that will not work. They will find a way. Hello teen pregnancy.
OP you are doing the right thing.
Anonymous
05/25/2021 17:55
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:OP, I would take her to Planned Parenthood. They are by far the most knowledgeable and accessible reproductive providers I’ve seen, with the best bedside manner. They’ll also have literature and websites to share with her designed for teens. And most cities have Planned Parenthood clinics, so she’ll be able to use them wherever she goes to college.
+!
Anonymous
05/25/2021 17:55
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:OP, clearly you care about whether she gets pregnant.
Given this, she should (or you should) consider purchasing Plan B, or the same medication by another maker, for your house. The odds of it preventing pregnancy increase the earlier it’s taken after unprotected intercourse (or if she thinks her method or prevention may not be foolproof (e.g., she missed a pill as well as not using protection, if that is what she’s using).
+1000000000
Anonymous
05/25/2021 17:54
Subject: What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?
Anonymous wrote:Too young!
Wrong.
She is not too young to prevent pregnancy. She is not too young because she already had sex.
OP ignore the idiots whose daughters will get pregnant. Yours won't because you are absolutely doing the right thing.
Keep the communication open. Take her to as many doctors as you have to, get her informed. Make it so she's comfortable with her own body.